Monthly Archives: June 2013

God is… (The gist) [POEM]

God is
everything that happens
beginning to end
and in between
the good and the bad
even the mean
if so you believe
if not
then
God is
pretend
and nothing to do with faith
or men
just a coincidence
and a quote
that gives it sense
and a reckless confidence
that is on the fence
about sin
or why we exist.

©2013 Cornelious “See” Flowers

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Today’s -see

Be careful not to end up on the “wrong” end of something because YOU thought it “right” to listen to or follow the instruction(s) of someone who was just saying what needed to be said in order to sell a dream that YOU mistakingly brought into. If YOU want “new” opportunities and experiences, YOU will naturally and appropriately obtain “new friends”. Embrace the ability and chance of NEW that turns YOUR NOW into POSSIBILITY!
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Gone Crying [POEM]

I want you to cry every time
I say I love you
because you know me
and how hard it was for me to open
my heart
to anyone
because of everyone
that broke it
but you awoke it
spoke it back to life with life
made me write
which made me right
which made me try
which gave me life
and that
makes you cry
so much so that it seems like pain
and makes me realize
that it looks the same
just like the chance
to understand
looks like romance
and what looks like a struggle
from afar
looks like a dance
in your eyes
and so I cry
now you know why
I’m not always looking
when you mention me
not paying attention
but relieved
that we sometimes see
eye to eye
or that you always seem to find
something in mine
that makes it right
to keep in mind
that I’ve come so far
from so far behind
and standing here now
gives me great pleasure
to decide
to keep on trying
to remind myself
that you are nothing like
anyone else
and yet you still love me
despite
my night
that separates your day
from so many ways
that could have made you leaving
much easier
even if
I stopped breathing
the moment you left
so I’m just here
crying
all by myself…

©2013 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Today’s -see

In order to get to the promise (or any particular place of YOUR preference), YOU MUST COMPLETE the process. YOU have to allow things that have to be “worked out” to be worked out. Don’t rush what requires wait because YOU will pay far more than you can afford to and the results are just that YOU will probably have to repeatedly find YOURSELF in the same position of not taking care of whatever issue the issue is or was in the first place.
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FATHER’S (Emphasis on man)

This is not Happy “Take/Took care of your kids day”. With that being said this is Father’s Day, for men. To acknowledge and give appreciation to the MEN who are carrying the title and definition of Father to the level that demands and denotes the character, deserves the respect, and brings in the awareness of saluting those past and present who assumed those specific roles. No matter how you attempt, try, or masquerade the role to give “props” to anything other than a BY DEFINITION Father, it is what it is. I, myself, don’t feel as if I am the “best” I can be in my capacity as a father but I think it is a disrespect to honor the mother of my son on Father’s Day. “Mother” is that by itself. You can’t combine mother with another title because Mother means what mother does and mothers do WHATEVER IT TAKES. If that requires that a mother be the only supporting parent then that is what SHE must do. It is all that SHE can do. Father isn’t a costume or context or complex or compromise. Father is a completion that is product of a composition that is not just characterized by men, its character is a man. Father is not an idea, it is an imprint, an impression and there is no invisible “understanding” that allows for us to imply that what is not a father is a father.
Freedom of speech aside, enough is enough. We have to understand that from our “expressions” are our children’s examples and far too pervasive is the blurring and smearing of the lines that set the boundaries and build the foundations that our futures are built on. Little boys who grow up being told that mothers are “fathers too” are more prone to be willingly seduced by the ideas and perversions of influence that offer them safety, security, and significance inside the sanctity of situations and satisfactions outside of the conventions of their natural desires. It weakens the strength. It confuses the competence and structure of the premise. It breaks the hold that is necessary for the reason of being able to become more inclined to be what one is possible to be.
It is not right.
To the women who had to step up and become more than just co-parent or co-partner I salute and recognize that you did. That the situation did not co-operate with what should have been is unfortunate and all too common but it is where you have to work from. No need to bash or belittle or berate the “boy” ( I don’t know everyone’s situation and I’m probably using the term boy only to pacify the females that will read this and require a feeling of being agreed with) that YOU at one time saw fit to be good enough to be a father. (Someone is going to say that, “I never saw him as a father, it just happened) To these I say that you should refer to the reproductive chapter of sex education that talks of what happens when a penis (minus condom) enters a vagina (minus birth control). The point is: You are a mother. Period.
To my brothers, as do I, that have children that are now product of single parent households (Child/Children live with the mom/moms and are seen or heard from via mutual understandings, court orders, or whatever the case) today I have a message for us. Let us take our titles back! From now is where we can do all that we can do to make sure that no one is able to take our roles from us because there is no room to do such if we fill it ourselves. Get in contact with your children. Do what is necessary in YOUR life to make it possible for you to be in theirs. This is not as easy as it may seem I am suggesting, trust me I know but we MUST collectively individually man up to our responsibility (financially, emotionally, mentally, psychologically, and physically). If we take it upon ourselves to be there and are there for the sake of being accountable to the act then the actions from here on out will favor us. No one can take a fathers place! NO ONE! If it is a way, then find it, create it, make it, do what must be done. I understand that we live in a society governed by a system of laws that do more than suggest that we are incompetent deniers of responsibility and monsters for which remedy is severe punishment and exile. We face that and the media driven impressions and institutions that perpetuate these travesties of justice and then we have to navigate on roads that are maintained by stereotypes and statistics and spectators who find it sufficient to support the nonsense as opposed to reevaluating the psychologies and dynamics of the cultures that so suffer from such. And then you have a “baby mama” from hell or who is instructed and influenced by some friend or show or other “baby mama” or a mama (baby mama’s momma) that finds it all too easy to make it hard on you in order to maintain the relationship with a daughter or friend that was lost or in perceived limbo because of you. Yes, I understand you have to deal with all that. And the economy. And your past. And your mess. And your family. And the fact that you don’t or didn’t have a father in your life.
And you got a situation now that you want to work on and you don’t want to lose out on it because of what happened last or long ago. All of it.

Well, Father’s have to deal with all of that. That’s why this day is for them.

Happy FATHER’S Day!

©2013 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Happy Father’s Day

To every Father that goes further to ensure his children go farther
Whether or whatever he has to do weather and what else he barters
Because he works on himself
so that they understand hard work
In spite of the pressure,
In light of the problems
He is Dad, he will solve it
Friend, Confidant, Hero, Evolving
Until its all over, He is all in
Every query, quagmire, or question
He’s the BEST at it!
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!!!

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Reminder (Songs) [POEM]

How do you miss what isn’t gone
or try to make right what isn’t wrong

Trying to do both while listening to songs
that remind you of them
Conjuring up a feeling
that isn’t gone
finding lights dim
sparking bright memories
of silly things
that start silly dreams
that survive outside the dark
wishing they would
have a reason to argue
something to spark
the value of that conversation that usually happens
after things went different
like they always did
when you mentioned more
now it’s less
and you want to suggest that you’d be willing
to listening more
whatever it takes
to get you in a positioning force
that might
give you the right to say
goodbye the right way
where gone is just a nights stay
and home is where
the two of you
begin the lights day
and one of you
just might say

Something that makes now
seem like
it never happened
that is
if it ever happens

But,

How do you miss what isn’t gone
or try to make right what isn’t wrong

Trying to do both while listening to songs
that remind you of them

On repeat again

And somehow
seeming to be selected
in order
in order to leave you
rejecting
the borders
testing the boundaries of casual and no attachments
just to see
if something happens
like acting

Scenes from
the predetermined scripts
that slipped your mind
out of your mouth
hopefully into the ears

Of the one
that the song
on the radio
is about.

©2013 Cornelious “See” Flowers

GO (… For it)

You don’t “go for it” because it goes against the normal and that means that you will have to do something different and people are going to see you differently and then they will treat you differently and probably won’t help you because they don’t quite see “it” the way that you do and in fact they are more than likely going to go out of their way to get you to maintain the “way” that they know you and that seems to feel like their against you but it’s a mixed bag because you know that most of “them” don’t know you well enough to “hate” you but their lack of support in between the moments of pacifying your ego tends to come off as offensive and demeaning and in the meantime you’ve been distracted enough by it so much so that you’re not doing what you could be when you should be and so your mouth and mindset become just momentary spokesmen for what you would be if you were to ignore the natural inclination to care so much for the opinions and suggestions of others and just do the thing you wanted to do in the first place.

There is always going to be resistance and struggle of some magnitude, obstacles and doubts, fears and rules, stereotypes and questions, and much more to bring reason or excuse as to why you “might not”, “won’t”, “shouldn’t try”, or aren’t “meant to” do something. But there is one reason you can, because you did. Because you did whatever it takes to make YOU happen. No matter who or what does something that could have stopped you had you not kept going.

Just GO!

©2013 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Awaken (Alive) [POEM]

I wonder if anyone notices
that I walked away
left
everything they said was right
for me
so that I’d sooner be
worthy
gave up my sanity
so that I may be ready
for the craziness
that came for me
when I spoke death
to the things that damaged me

they only see that I was gone
guessed and hypothesized
quite often criticized
as to my why’s
without ever asking me
suggestion that I took leave
was why I couldn’t breathe
choking on the smoke
of their trees
burned fruit only makes jam
to be put in a can
and that Sir,
that wasn’t me
labeled “all natural”
preservatives added
artificial flavors
and even coloring
readily available on aisle 3
next to the pornography
and the gambling
and the mediocrity
packages of hope and faith
tucked somewhere in between

they brought it
I brought into it
stupid investment
a return of “been through it”
now I know to check it out
then do it

salvation available
for good sayings,
and a powerful poem
some profound verbiage
and they all goin’
don’t know nothin’
’bout the All Knowing

or what I really look like
without the robe
they were satisfied talking
about the clothes
which don’t fit the occasion
let alone the man
but what garment is appropriate
when you’re chosen to stand
loose fitting true religion
or another brand
of even tighter pants

I think she noticed me
recognizing my wife in her
but she can’t handle my truth
let alone my life in her
so I’ll just be whatever she says
something on the side
another knife in hers

I wish she would have though
because I could have been had more
but no reason to
just brings him them bad lore
and I could deal with it
but what for

then I see her again last night
and I wanted to make things right
but of course she just left early
couldn’t see past sight

would’ve chased her but
that would have wasted what
I been working 3 years
to face her
once

I gave up everything
forgot almost everything
and almost remembered my past
’till a voice reminded me
that I can comeback
and this time I’ll be
better
capital letters
longer sentences
clear thoughts possible
through repentance’s

and great
maybe just a little bit late
but I can’t fall asleep anymore
a new generation to awake
for sake
my son’s and mine
both in the same boat
Alive.

©2013 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Today’s -see

They may be pretending YOU are a treat while they may be perceiving YOU as a threat; Daily YOU need discernment to decipher between DETERMINATION and DESPERATION because the “display” appears the same! Some people are on YOUR side to keep YOU on the right track while some people are in the same position, on YOUR side, but to make sure YOU stay off the right track.
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