Monthly Archives: December 2014

Makes sense… [POEM]

as sure as this is true,
no one knows for sure
no one knows it too
no one has it figured
yet no one agrees
no one wants to admit that
no one believes
no one sees the reason
that no one comes to know
no one gives a chance
no one seems to grow
no one leaves it be
yet no one agrees
no one has it figured
no one knows it too
no one knows for sure,
as sure as this is true


©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers


Thought for the Moment [#16]

“Having Half”

… In everything: Finances, Feelings, Faith, and Friendship. You have to come to the table as a benefit, not looking for benefits. You have to come willing to compromise and negotiate, in GOOD FAITH, for a mutually acknowledged snd AGREED purpose. You have to be WILLING to realize (and find out) that some things YOU HAVE WRONG! Some “good things about you” only work when EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU! Relationships ARE NOT ABOUT YOU. Relationships DO NOT WORK when EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU!
That is not a relationship, the system that operates and functions completely to only please and satisfy you. That is something else, and you do not need anyone else to accomplish that. YOU NEED YOU. And eventually, evan a narcissist will seek someone to validate him or her, self.

Love is an amplifier. It heightens and exemplifies whatever it is conjoined to. Self-Love AMPLIFIES self. And so on… Love for others AMPLIFIES others. A mutual symbiotic love between two will amplify both entities, in accordance to energy and effort. It doesn’t mean that you have to come to the table with an equal share of anything (relevant to a specific thing). That would be redundant. You don’t need what you already have. But what the other person has (for you) must be compensated with a value that is at least equal in reverence. And that value is not to be determined by you. You can’t always appraise or assess the importance that someone may or may not have in or for your brand of consideration. What may be extremely important to you may not be as important to someone else. That does not mean that they are AGAINST you, it just means that they don’t know. Maybe they want to know. Maybe they don’t know that they don’t know. Maybe they are willing to find out. Maybe they could learn. Maybe you could teach them.

And vice-versa.

This works if you’ve got “your half”. Safety, Security, and Significance are the baseline intangibles that determine ANY humans success. But these words are not linearly comprehended in a sense whereas they mean the EXACT thing to EVERY PERSON. They are not always mutually exclusive. What is “safety” to you may not mean the very same to a person who you desire to “save”. “Security” may mean something outside of your comprehension. “Significance” might not be what you expected. And again, vice-versa. A person may be attempting to do or give unto you from the core of their understanding BUT it might not be in a language or love that you understand.

Doesn’t mean they aren’t for you. Does not mean that they don’t “get it”. It just means that there may be work to do.


The work can be done though. It’ll cost too. It’ll cost you some time and some money and some sleep and some other things. But YOU HAVE TO RECOGNIZE that it is an investment if that is what you want. It is a risk that is rewarded after awhile. It is a chance that you must take in order to find out whether or not it was worth whatever the eventual price you pay.

… and that price ain’t so bad, when you’ve got YOUR HALF.

Choice… [POEM]

If someone is hungry
and you can feed them,
Do so.
You don’t need a Jesus for that.
If someone needs help
and you can assist them,
Why not?
What good is it turning your back?
If someone is falling and out of sorts,
and your experience could set them straight…
Why wait?
If someone is going good
despite the help or hold you could,
Why hate?
What good is compassion
if not lasting?
Or what purpose serves graciously,
if not patiently?
Were someone sick and your power subject to heal,
Why would it not be obligation that you feel?
Dare you to be real and admit your prejudice,
sufficing to say that your bias is resident…
If your help is hesitant
then your harm is evident.
What if a soul needed shelter
and your home is sufficient,
Why not listen?
Or why not advise for the better, your story is worth the benefit…
Why not mention it?
Why would you avoid the trodden, the trampled, or the tried?
How dare you delay where you once were denied?
What form of faith is it that holds within it pride…
ignoring evidence while it’s deity hides.
How dare you chide the ignorant…
while considering your opinion overly significant.
What gall and degree of audacity do you bear?
inconsiderate of the experience,
or is it,
Do you care?
Have you taught as you have learned?
Have you shared as has been to you?
Do you consider yourself a success,
without the much more work to do…
If one desires to follow your lead,
have you opened up the way?
or have you refused as many others,
and left with nothing more to say…
Why is it that you are?
What good is it to live?
If not to continue life,
What cost will you not give?
If a man need be forgiven,
though he has failed more times than not,
Is it you that shall condemn him,
despite a chance that once you got…

An abandoned heart will refuge in the darkest place of sure
for sickness is only a thought
that develops, until it is cured
You could be well or you could be on your way,
That is certainly up to you,
but wouldn’t it be different if what you choose is exactly what you do…


©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Far too Comfortable… [POEM]

Most churches
are non-prophet
not worth it
I pray that God stop it
because that is not it
that is not who God is
and they don’t believe God
they believe in talking
telling great stories
requires an audience
so no walking
sit still
and hold on,
God is coming
no option,
don’t believe other than this
and start watching…
from the pew,

Religion kills more souls
than does war
and what for
because of power and control
because of the want
to be comfortable
instead of natural
because acting like
gets more action
than action does
act or do
don’t just act because
actors do
applause is what
an actors due
not the title of activist
that takes action to
but all too comfortable

Life is emulating art
God has become a part
preference has become purpose
forecast is rather dark
the devil won
the details had the heart
and the spark
an array of flame,
far too comfortable

I’ve been in the backrooms
where the preachers are
and become men again
and tend to be more sin
than the skin their in
and speak the vilest of vile
and are the worst of pedophile
and adulterer
spellbinding sorcerers
money commanding orators
the less than ordinary
in the offices
behind the sanctuary
preying on orifices,
way too comfortable

Hypocrites and heathens
heaven is under siege
asunder the bridge of hope
made to believe
that a part of me sent to me
one like me
to be
comfortable enough
to take my peace,

I decided not to be
instead self-inoculated
instead of occupation
I waited
it was uncomfortable
but I made it
a bed of my own making
but I made it
the real church is in me
and I made it
with enough time to spare
so that I could share
a real testimony
no jest
just the only thing I have,
a past
whether you listen
or you laugh
just know that
I’m comfortable
and all I want from you
is to ask
what do you want to do
and how much discomfort
will it take
before you want to move

or are you too comfortable?


©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Naked… [POEM]

Nothing to lose,
or hide
I tried
I died a cowards death,
I lived a soldiers life,
I survived
a transient in palace clothes
a rogue
dancing under the viaducts
unchained to trains
of thought
I taught lessons
that I brought
from long ways to go
from the experience
of the wrong ways to know
I sought advices
from vices
held hostage to habits
like vice grips
a stones throw from unknown
but long gone,
in the wrong zone
toting signs
that spoke in mime,
fortunate that I could lie
could easily say “I’m fine”
hide in the plain sights
under the radar,
over time
and no one knows
no one told
folded the chairs
and disappeared
no bags,
in the clear
in the rearview,
the cold
clouds that covered the sky
hiding the moon
weren’t as they were
but smoke
enveloped in the cocoon
a butterfly trapped,
a room
beautiful colors
aren’t seen in the darkness

I am as I came
the same
but no difference
because I know different
I’m no different
no excuses
I know prisons
the prisms of pretentious
I wrote literature
that was the ligature
my signature significant
my words indicative
an indictment
of my wickedness

I was exposed
standing in a crowd,
susceptible to the elements
accused by the evidence
of being shown
prone to expectations
of home
lying there
in roam
subject to a dissident,
soaking my sulk
a bulk of my inference
in foam
dripping into the parchment
ideas sorted on the carpet
a sordid mess
stretched about
my allotment
no room
no soon to be warmed
a thermostat across it
held to the traditions
of a system
so I’ve moved
leave before you go
or wonder
how you’ve lost it
until you know

I’m better now
empty and barren
so I’d better now
settle in the right place
to grow
no reason not to
same reasons to show
and share
stand in the mirror
of mankind
and bare
everything that I have
because it is everything
that I have
and I have every right to it
and someone else
may see me
then might do it…



©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers

The bullet… [POEM]

(…Ramblings of a murdered mothers son)

My mother
caught the better end
of the bullet
that killed her,
it killed her
filled her head
with lead
she bled
then she was dead.
the end

that is where
this life began,

The bullet

Dead people
don’t get depressed
and don’t stress
dead people don’t hurt
everyday after,
dead people couldn’t care
but care less
is impossible
when you are prompted to
question and assume
wonder and presume
work through the pain
but consumed
with guilt and vengeance
regrets and remorses
forgiveness, forced
forces beyond your control
coerce you into conclusions
that you can never let go of
because you know,
the truth is something
you may never know of

they say
you should get over it
move on
get past the pain
shoulder it
accept what has changed
the older you get
but the older it gets
only proves
that closure is a myth
that some hurts never heal
some excuses are never real
some time will never reveal
the fortune of clarity
as if
understanding could ever exist

unsolved murder,
known assailant
I know who did it
says the D.A
but there is nothing I can do
says the D.A
how do you deal with that
every single day?
ask me

every person is a suspect
every conflict is a conspiracy
paranoid delusions
every day a different theory

Could I have stopped it
or changed the way
what if when she asked
I had decided to stay

The bullet,
should have hit me

and since
I became the monster
the bullet should have hit
angry and unapologetic
coping mechanisms
that compromised relationships
I can’t fix that
I can’t relate to this
so I hated it
internalized beyond control
a deep-seeded disdain,
I awakened it
hurt people hurt people
and all I did
was hurt people
motives directed
every second of regret
isolated, dissected

The truth is that I was mad
angry as hell,
discouraged and enraged,
and it turned bad
no stage for grief
so I created it
defense mechanisms
that debated it

I wish I could have
given that bullet to you
so you could
know what it is like
to hurt constantly
to feel betrayed constantly
to be dismayed constantly
to be made, constantly
to hate everyone
without exception
to operate in the frustration
and fear weapons
to distrust so much
that you hear weapons
and not people
wanting the best for you
to want to cry, constantly
but only tear,
then see things clear,
pure evil
as it gets
the best of you

The bullet
tore through her flesh
but it stopped my progress
blue steel
got me blue, still
I’m blew, steal
obsessed with revenge
or objects
to distract me
let alone trying to stay alive,
bullets have a price
that one cost me

The bullet ricocheted
and hit her children
casualties of an un-fought war,
me and my siblings
cards passed to us
we’re not dealing
no full houses
no three of a kind
narrow straights
not even a small pair,
calling it all-in,
all the time
a bullet waged
all risk, no reward
and what for

Bullets take lives
but more importantly,
they take time
and they stray
wind up breaking things
un rewinding history,
taking things

The bullet, that bullet
made a hole
stole a parent
took a daughter
forced a move
bruised a family
damaged a reputation
unveiled a lie
pried apart a unit
ruined at least 3 lives
took away a sister
and an auntie
and a niece
but no one acts
like they miss her,
I see

post traumatic stress
doesn’t address the absence
that bullet manufactured

what are bullets made of?
not glue
not to harp
but where is the gun that fixes
the lives
that bullets break apart
the bullet must be made of
something sharp
because bullets
don’t put things together
the bullet pulled things apart

My mother
caught the better end
of the bullet
that killed her,
it killed her
filled her head
with lead
she bled
then she was dead.
the end

that is where
this life began,

a life of lies
and question
of guessing
who will kill me today?
how dead will they find me
will I ever be strong
to face the facts
that my future
is behind me
but I am afraid to go back
so it will have to find me
instead I walk forward
in faith
or blindly

scared of a bullet
and other things
like getting close to people
and words like trust
and love
and family
and words like us
of having relationships
or systems that depend
when none of it matters
to people who pretend

like it never happened

Like I didn’t wake up
to a dead mother
and know who did it
and have all of
every reason
to have committed
but what use was I
as a motherless son
when every idea
of what to do
was what my mother
had done
and the bullet paid the price
for what my mother had done

no point in telling a story
that is not hard to believe
but imagine the story
that always leaves
what will always be

A great sadness
refuses to pass
and the real question
is refusing to ask
and I could have
explained it all away
but what sense
does that make

I didn’t hear that bullet
but the sound it made
was silence
shut up an entire community,

mistakes are mistakes
no less the tragedy
the truth of being human
is no less of casualty
there is no lesson
in apathy
no lessening the expectation
of gravity
that bullet weighed more
than everything

you learn to be frigid
in cold temperatures
and when you’re told
the differences
why justice escapes
and what ridiculousness
it is to assume
that anyone with feelings
would care for
or about

The bullet
made it’s way
shot her in the head
but hit us in the face
collateral damage
or as they say,
the bullet made a liar
of God
and proved the staying power
of a scar
and successfully
loomed in the far
and has refused to go away
how could a bullet
work so slowly
if traveling at such a pace
such a waste of speed
traveling every day

disgust turns to disguise
turns to disgrace
turns to distance
turns away

and dead people
don’t have to decide
on whether to be optimistic
and they don’t have to
visit grave sites
that are home to coffins
or try to forget terrible things
that should be lost when
they happen
which is often
especially because of

Dead people aren’t confused
or in doubt
or afraid to live
Dead people don’t remember
or suffer from bouts
of the unbearable

that same bullet
still tears through

How do you duck
without warning
why are you stuck,
without wanting to be
Guns don’t kill people
bullets do
but what triggers a trigger
like a trigger pull
wanting to know answers
was a warning to me

The bullet
ruined everything

identity and definition
lost in the balance
lost in the challenge

My mother
caught the better end
of the bullet
that killed her,
it killed her
filled her head
with lead
she bled
then she was dead.
the end

that is where
this life began,

a life of isolation
an unintended consequence
wanting loneliness
unattended competence
stagnant delinquency
but I made it look easy

that bullet took everything
so easily

That bullet
killed the God
I knew
and the love I knew
and the life
I knew
total massacre
unknown caliber
everyone assumed I knew

so I was left to grieve
and gather
and believe that I’d rather
be better
had it never happened

What if the bullet
never happened…


©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Freedom, Worth mentioning … [POEM]

I’ve never known freedom
been granted permissions
been given
watched and mentioned,
not living

Expected and accepted
rarely invited to venture
outside of failure,
not to please

I’ve seen the dark side of things
in the mirror,
an inconvenient truth,
but still

History abides by the bias
of eyes
and of other things
things worth mentioning
Things worth much more
than Me
or so legend would have you believe

Worth remembering

The great ones had to be
more than anything,
if not for nothing
for something more than,
being mentioned

rights and privileges
laws and rules
constitutes and statutes,
involuntarily approved
or broken
and made to be
at least a mention
footnotes on the backside
of a rouse
an arms length away
from rebellion,

do not mention revolution
it’s on sale,
For free
on the channel
where they sell everything
you need
one thru one thousand and three
just mention one of the coupon codes,

I ain’t never seen better days
just different ones
forgetting to remember the dates
to make mention of
but still paint a picture of
a picture that I know ain’t right
but can’t distance from


they still do niggers
some kind of way
and blame them same niggers
some kind of way
and niggers so not clever about it
them niggers done started treating themselves
that same kind of way
don’t mention it to them niggers though
they gone figure some kind of way
to act like they can still be niggers
and get some kind of say

they choked a nigger
for loose squares
and insubordination
and got away with it
them folks got a way with it
just mention that it was a nigger they killed,
and got away with it

been killing a hell of a lot of nigger boys here lately
as always
in the middle of the street,
walking to the store,
for pulling out their wallets
or their phones
or complying with orders
or for asking what was wrong
for much of nothing,
or for going home
they say you’re going off
if you mention what is going on
it ain’t right,
and it’s going wrong

I’ve never known freedom
just niggers
being a descendant
of niggers
and turning into a nigga
and being the realest one
competing for the recognition
of being mentioned
as the cleanest one

it’s hard for niggers to hear this poem

But them niggers too comfortable
won’t accept that freedom
is something
you want to do
not realizing the discomfort
can be just as comfortable
but that’s the truth
they ain’t mentioning to you
just keep doing what they want you to…

on saviors and ships
and ain’t saving shit

I know niggers think they are free
but you ain’t nothing but the most that a nigger could be
and in America,
that nigger is better,
or delivert,

the N-word and nigger
are the same
both thoughts
in a vain
both taught by the letter,
or they could call you
still the same
because none of it matters
if you are not mentioned
the same
but this is a different day,
not much has changed

We have a declaration that declares but never meant we,
A national anthem that never meant free
And a constitution that considered 3/5 of a human being, to be people like me

But we are expected to observe all 3
So Nah, we mad
wouldn’t you be?

Wouldn’t you see fit to throw fits and fisticuffs when it’s not about justice because its just us that get the hits and take the blunts, the bruises, and the brunts, confusion is the stunt that they keep using to get us stuck, thats not a condition, that’s getting fucked

Conditional voting rights,
Hell yea we want to fight

We want what is right,
So tell the out of perspective political pundits to pipe down,
“Hands up, Don’t shoot”
is not about Mike Brown
We were fed up before this, we couldn’t take no more, right now,
Ain’t no more conversation
Change this shit right now
Like now

I don’t want to be racist
But what am I faced with
watching you boom,
and I live basic
You go vroom,
and I go chase it
you eat good,
and I just taste it

Can’t deal

been giving discounts since they made us dismount
poisoned by the rhetoric
so we kept our shit
and our secrets
in this house

Like good niggers do

and I have never known freedom
just probation and privilege
but who can give me such
who has the right to my freedom
how is a piece of land
not mine
why do I have to just stand by
how is a legacy of wealth not entitled to me
when wealth comes from mines
and not one man created time
but these were men that created this system,
same kind of man as I
am I supposed to be blind?

Don’t mention it

Just wait on Jesus
in the meantime
take this suffering
he don’t need it
and bear this cross
he don’t need it
just accept this loss,
He gone see it
and he gone put in a good word for you with his father
yea, just go with that story
you’ll get farther
drink this juice,
imagine it’s his blood
so that you will always remember
life gets harder
and pleading and prostrate
is the way
just don’t look up,
Jesus will come back
and save
so follow his lead, save

Mention his name

It’ll get you to the door
and you’ll enter a room of deception
take the secret society exit
It’ll get you to the floor
there you’ll be presented with an option
be yourself and be exiled
or perform completely unnatural acts,
that’ll get you even more
and each section that you pass,
that’ll get you even more
there are degrees and levels to this
that will get you even moor
you ain’t seen nothing yet,
wait until they get you in the door

Don’t mention it
just spit

fame and celebrity become jeopardy when you play games with the recipe,
Leave shit like it was
or suffer the consequence
Freedom of speech so weak
the government using tweets as accomplices
shutting down niggas opinions, constantly
putting you on Facebook probation for being honest, honestly
and if nothing happens to me,
then I guess I’m free
but I’m honored to be
in a cage
if I’m in a cage full of niggers
and they listening

… and when they walk out
they mention me
and they think about
something I said
then go get free.


©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers

True… [POEM]

ever wondered
if your faith
was blundered
a sundered fictitious why
by disguise
a wise lie
told by
cunning linguist
hunting things
that don’t exist
for jest and gist
and yet
you’ve believed in
just as is
for a sake of it
or a stake in this…

the mirror shows reflection
a shadow shows a truth
the darkness shows us color
exposure shows us you

but once
if taken sure
is just enough
to make it pure
or ridiculous notion yet
the time it takes
to deviate
is worth
the wait
so take the cure
just as yet
make it sure
press the bet
to make it best
odds don’t make gambles
taking risks
will eventually profit
just endure
some cards you can’t help
just insure

the mirror shows reflection
a shadow shows a truth
the darkness shows us color
exposure shows us you

a life is not
what a life is got
they steal lives
to make lifeless pots
serve to the people
as if life was hot
and act as if
life would rot

but just imagine

if you carpe diem
instead of mea culpa
and took your bread
instead of always wanting
lived as you desired
and not as was deemed
but fought the systems
which gave you things
loved without limit
and moved without chain
enjoyed with much pleasure
and endured without pain

the mirror shows reflection
a shadow shows a truth
the darkness shows us color
exposure shows us you.


©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Not leaving… [POEM]

I can fight
but not your demons
and mine
I can tell the truth
but not time
I can expose myself
but not hide
from who I was before
I can not produce a different
who I was before
I can only hold on
for so long
that is not who I was before
but I can prove
that I love you
that I was willing to choose
that I was willing to use
who I was before
in order to do different
in order to listen
in order to distance
who I am now
from who I was before

I can be myself
I cannot be someone else
I can open my eyes to love
I cannot see someone else
nor will I allow myself
to go unnoticed
to suffer consequences,
or to be hopeless
to be found only as a
side or footnote
aside from a reason to
I won’t be spoken of
in no sense of the word
as a footnote
would rather be
imaginary wings,
than a bird
caged inside
of a broken heart
only seeing freedom
through the broken parts
only able to share covers
in a token dark

I won’t allow you
to hurt you
through hurting me
I can only do
what you allow me to
everything else
is out of my control
or until it’s working
giving this season her due
watching to yield its produce
I can stay out of the way
or I can get dirty
I cannot just watch
the grass grow
I can pour into the cup
but I just cannot watch
the last, go
without at least reaching
if you’re talking,
you’re teaching
and I can be a student,
the science and math
through wondering

or you can say it
I can dance to your music
but I cannot play it
to ears stuffed with fingers
best used otherwise
I know there was a before me
but I would rather see
so I don’t see
other guys
I see means necessary
to get here
I can STAND up for us
but I cannot just sit here
on a pinky promise
and I can at least be honest
and say that I understand
it’s timing,
not another man,

I can write all the poems ever
but I cannot make better
what you won’t give me
a chance, or a stance
that’s just not living
we did the right things
for the wrong people
but we can’t stop giving
and pretending to be okay
is just not healing

I can imagine the best
but I cannot believe
what perception suggests
I have no reason to deceive,
I’ve settled for less
accepted coupons for love
and settled the debts
now I’m under arrest
falsely accused of a crime
that I’d never commit
but I’ve surrendered,
at best
would rather be held
than left
would rather be in your jail
than just
and that is not in jest
I’ve suffered for worse
why not suffer for the best?
I can take this up
but I cannot make this up,
so I confess…
be assured, that I won’t rest
not until it gets better
or else

I can listen
even to your silence
if you cannot talk today
I can wait
but I cannot walk away.


©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Listen to Me… [POEM]

I won’t ever desert you
but if I have to abandon me
to realize us,
I am probably going to hurt you
deception is not my virtue
so there are things
that I won’t do
especially because, I want you
and because I believe
that I deserve you
have to stay committed
to those beliefs
because I’m supposed to
even the silly ones
in the event that you seek my stability,
there must be really one
I know that the beginning
is really fun
but trying to fool yourself
is a cold notion,
ignorance is a chilly one
let me warm you
with consistency
please don’t set a fire on assumption,
specifically one that
you can extinguish by listening
the truth is always worth mentioning
don’t hear how I said it,
give me the chance
to lift you up
or let you down
the reality is that
ALL things are possible,
and you cannot avoid it
so pretending that pain is not real
or trying to not feel
until it builds up
doesn’t avoid it
it just lets you down,
I don’t know everything
so I’m learning
just like you
picking and sorting information
looking for clues
hearing and seeing similarities
and trying not to do
a similar thing,
but similarly
watching every move,
I know that you’re fragile
and I am not expecting anything
outside of your ability
not going to break you down
hear the voice of hurt
that won’t let it happen again
hear that I am going to work
so that it never happens again
but see that I am here,
even if it happens again
I believe in magic,
but I don’t have to pretend,
not saying doesn’t ensure
and saying doesn’t insure
and just saying for the sake of
to attempt to take the place of
is as sure of a way to make the mistake of
just saying, for sure,
broken hearts make the best vases
and broken frowns
make the best faces
so smile at the Flowers I’ve planted
excavated recesses and reservoirs
in order to find the purest soil
that dirt is going to allow us to grow
time takes time,
some time is slow
and you’re in a rush to be assured,
I know
our past lives were pastimes
had fun not paying attention
and it passed by
but don’t pass up living
because of a past life
I can see past your problems,
can you see past mine?
they were tests
we passed, bye
I am willing to work out anything
tell me what you want
I will, what you need, intentionally
if it doesn’t work out,
it doesn’t work out
but it won’t be because of history
I am present and aware
this is me,



©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers