Monthly Archives: January 2015

D Words… [POEM]

We left it somewhere
never expected to leave
being apart was no option
it was supposed to be,

Denial

forever
nevermind the fools we made of ourselves
we were once happy,
together

Debating

and now sights can’t be stood
moments are more regret
every time there is presence,
there feels like death

Destruction

and I haven’t slept…

I hope you have trouble
sleeping without me
and if you do get a chance to dream,
I hope it is about me

Disaster

I hope that I haunt every thought
I wish no man ever take my place
I pray that you suffer the same sickness as my anxiety over you,
I hope that your only remedy,
is my face,

Discouraged

so I will stay away…

from whatever hurts you
and leads you to question
I’ve learned more about myself
per your suggestion

Distance

Yet, here we are…

opposite sides of this issue,
opponents
juggernauts going for blood,
unwilling to own our messes
I’m torn because of you

Distracted

you’re hurt because of what I did
no one seems to remember it honestly
and then we have these kids,
casualties and tactics
can’t go forward
because it’s backwards,
honesty

Disabled

How can you say you acted?

What do you mean you don’t believe?

How could we ever walk away from this?

What can’t I see?

Dysfunctional

You don’t mean what you said
I never meant to betray you
somewhere along the way we stumbled
what can I say to…
make this different
There is no judgement that can justify our love
or mandate my commitment

Disgusting

Why are we here?

I apologize. I’m sorry. whatever it takes, just take it away
I’ll give back everything that you don’t like about me,
I’ll change, today

Disorder

I forgive you. I understand.
whatever you need to hear, it’s okay
I am willing to accept you and I can work with us,
just don’t break

Disagree

Or say it’s over
I don’t want an end
I want us to get over
this hurdle
get better somehow,
through this turbulence…

Disruption

We deserve better
and are capable of more
counseling, mediation, therapy
prayer, fasting, changes
that’s what they are for
just don’t make me feel ignored

Disrespect

We can fix this,
by our faith
taken back by force
I just can’t take failing to finish it
and I don’t want to…

Divorce.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

much rather… [POEM]

I would much rather
stay in love with you
better or for worse,
more than vowing to
or allowing time to do
what it is supposed to
establish and institute
rather than substitute
for a reason amounting to
nothing
even worth saying it
a vision of you is everything
and I don’t mind playing it
over and over and over,
until days end,
every awake
over and over and over
but what more can I say…

At some point I must leave,
must do the things I said,
must be,
must not be in your presence,
must be gone
must be able to go and take care of us,
alone
must flee your company
to be our foundation
must be away
to give us more
must be unavailable
to be there for you
and I must be trusted…

I could spend energy
and effort
peddling words on the porch
of your dream home
or I could go and get it
I could sound like the man you want me to be
or I can live it,
I have to sacrifice being there sometimes
in order to pivot
on the floor of stable
I know what you desire,
so I must be able
I’ve made no changes,
I’m still at the table…

I can hold your hand and rest assure you
or I can best assure you
I can say what I want for us
or I can get to doing
I can promise to
or I can produce
I’ve made up my mind,
You must choose…

I would much rather
have been better
because of you
than to never have
but I never had
and now I do,
and sometimes much better
than having a vision,
is having a clue,
I’ve left both for you.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

of Love (Dream-State, Love Paralysis)… [POEM]

I had a dream,
quite a fantasy
us, stranded
such requited things
a distinct narrative,
of the slightest seem
an image beyond rescript,
delight as being
you were in love
and I, well I, was deemed
worthy
a suitor to your purging
and we, we were burgeoning
a buoyant affair,
turning into something…

but this was a dream,
a fictional scene
an admirers fiend
a reality bequeathed
an accident
something that had careened
a meaning misunderstood,
unbelieved

so I chose wake,
awoke from my slumber
and chose fate,
slowly opened my eyes
to see that I’d only lost faith
yet so fertile of an imagination
could easily replace
an impossible thought,
for requiems sake

I closed my eyes
again
hoping that at the very least,
I could pretend
maybe I could fold reality
or maybe it would bend,
to my consent,
or perception should see fit
to let me sleep,
at least in your favor
if not, underneath
until we saw alike
a similar sight,
belief

I want to see
an uninterrupted slumber
a rest for my effort
an arrested peace
a lesson in focus,
such a desperate blink
trying to make the best
or not to think,
for the time being
until I can keep
at least,
a memory.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

estranged… [POEM]

Something changed,
strange
cornucopia of circumstances
colloquial reign,
but a pain,
arranged
not the same as an end
but a game
like staying
way past an ordeal
has changed
a significant difference,
a frame
one suitable to miserable
maybe 9 by 6
or maybe a custom fit,
chains
range
there’s that pain again
chronic,
remains
what of the dead shall sustain
the crane
maybe the vein
maybe the name
unwritten on the hearts
of those who’d seen the dark,
complain
but I’ve no reason to
abstain
I’m lost
a voyage with no ship,
a cost
plain
an ordinary dream
for a same
organized chaos
blame
unsettled music
fame?
Hello. Is anyone else. Sane?
audacity to question
lessons in self:
Be your…
Do for…
Trust your…,
first
unpopular opinion
until admitted
and then it’s all repeated,
again
or goes on,
estranged.

-see

©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Breakfast, in Bed… [POEM]

Am I hungry?
or does it matter
either way I want you,
before and after
and during, too
enduring, you
is worth every taste
worked up my appetite,
the chase
where do I start, today
You seem a little tense,
let me eat that away
first
the flavors inside of you
burst, into my mouth
breakfast, in bed
or on the couch
breakfast has a volume, loud
and a temperature, hot
breakfast has a spot,
many actually
I won’t miss a one,
factually
You won’t serve breakfast to anyone else,
after me
custom menu and cuisine
specifically designed, to keep
satisfaction, guaranteed
evidence, on my chin
extra, cream

Do you like the way I lick the plate?
the way I pay attention to my meal,
no waste
manners, mean something else
Good Morning breakfast,
I can serve myself…

I’ll have some chocolate
candy kisses, cocoa skin
soft and tender
breakfast hands
succulent, moist
waist and breast
a serving of hips and thighs,
I want to taste myself
your back is a buffet,
I must say
breakfast looks so good,
accommodate
Momma said not to play with my food,
Momma ain’t here today

I like my breakfast warm
breakfast about to come,
warned
let me stir it,
churned
now pour it onto me,
learned
as I make a mess of myself,
earned

Do you enjoy the way I eat?
I like to blow my breakfast first,
a treat
hypocrite,
vegetarian, craving her meat
source is rare,
so of course it’s pink
not supposed to talk with my mouth full,
but she likes the way I speak,
treat
service,
on top, of my head
having
my breakfast,
in bed.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Wish we were here… [POEM]

There is an unencumbered resolve
like waters that we had nothing to do with
clouds we couldn’t have imagined
sands that we should have pursued,
beaches meant for us…

I wish we were here

It should have gone differently
I should have apologized sooner
you should have fought harder,
we could have made it through,

I wish we were here

I asked to hear your story
you wanted to know more
somehow we created life,
but what for?

I wish we were here

There was a time
you standing in the rain
me, trying to leave you
both feeling the pain,
I should have stayed

I wish we were here

Should have made up
Should have tried
Should have saved up
Should have lied,

Could have said different
Could have listened
Could have tried something else
Could have mentioned…

that it should have been me,
that picture above the fireplace,
would have been We
I will always be the wedding of your dreams
the fantasy will always be about me,

I wish we were here

Some things have changed
but what I believe about the water
remains
still the place that I know God to be,
silly me
strange

I wish we were here

There is still a pillow
that I wrap myself around
knowing it to be you,
comfort that I’ve found
terrible substitute,
but what can I do?

I wish we were here

No one else is,
it only appears abandoned
all of this beautiful,
stranded
I’d blown you away at one time,
now I wonder where you landed,
trying understanding
but I am failing to command it
full,
but empty handed,
I wanted to be there for you,
I know no one else is,
damned, it
there was a door once
life, slammed it
and I ran…

I wish we were here

along a tide that shifted
alone, by ourselves, no distance
maybe the same as we’d planned,
maybe different
maybe that’s the way it should be,
maybe it isn’t…

but I wish we were here.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Explorer… [POEM]

A part of my journey
will always be
that you saw in me
fit to be more than
and your willingness
was more can
and if I were ever able
to comprehend that
then this would be
a much different poem

But instead,
this is a sentence
drawn out and elongated
un-punctuated,
a run-on that runs into
lives that moved on
past unknown beaches
and the residue
seashells that I keep
as a clue
a sunken treasure,
of things I value

This is hyperbole
and suggestion
anything other than
question
an anecdote to how I’d spoke
so long ago
here lies the map
to my soul
tattered and torn
but legible
these words are edible,
once you are sequestered

Last meal for a dying man
is never unlike
at least a desire
so this is my favorite course,
an appetizer
something to tease you
hoping to please you
with my works of fire

the wilderness has never
known a better lost,
and I keep traveling
at any cost
on a path towards
what I’d promised,
once I’d set off.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

I miss you (Couldn’t sleep)… [POEM]

Tossed and turned last night,
without you
a dreamless sleep,
about you
a starless sky,
without my moon
with clouds, too
don’t know how I made it through,
I miss you.

Reached across the bed,
felt nothing
a pillow empty
You left something,
Me
and dry sheets
and an opportunity
to put me to sleep,
wide awake waiting for you,
don’t know what I’m supposed to do,
I miss you.

Turned on my back for a bit,
tried it on my stomach, a minute
nothing worked
jerked on the covers,
crawled on the floor
since you’ve been gone,
I can’t sleep anymore
I miss you.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Fingers… [POEM]

here or there
inside
or where
ever You want them
to be
aside,
in between
Your teeth
just as much
climbing around
to touch

Your skin
taking to them
so well
being
almost like
minded if You’d say
something else
in
stead of
Mine,
do tell

My fingers
running through
Your hair
like wind
in hot places
relief
from not taking
parting
Your lips
to start,
tasting

the tip
of Your tongue
feeling
like,
once again
up and down,
Your chin

fingers
already moist
warm
soothing
calm
sturdy
on top
holding in
protecting You
from
wanting to,
stop

Our fingers
pass by
and graze
brushing
up against
the small
of Your back
thumbprints
numbness,
gentle kisses
subtle ways

Fingers
in and out
’round
and about
not business as usual
this is unusual
fingers
being used to,
let go

My fingers
touching
Your soul
palming
and cuffing,
coming
ever so close,
to

who knows
My fingers
better than You
My fingers have never
pointed out someone
better than You
and now My fingers
know You,
almost better
than,
You do

wrap My fingers
around
Your waist
sounds like
safe
fingers unlocking
sounds
like,
wait. please. take.

My fingers
In between Your toes
up to Your crown,
fingers walking
up and down
gripping
where need be
calming
where need be
warming
where need be,
My fingers,
You need me

Fingers
connected
to hands
that hold you,
before. during. after.
fingers
that capture
the sweat
or the tears
whichever falls
for all the years,
now until,
forever

My fingers,
Your fingers,
together
pleasure
and symbolism
public displays
and crafting vision
denoting sway
and rhythm,
given

to please
You are the music
My fingers are the keys
play,
with me.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Where are they (Good People)… [POEM]

Where are the humans?
the true ones
not the new ones
the ones that knew one
the ones that went through some… things
Where are the human beings?
the people that have feelings
and are able to express them
the ones that experience life
and confess it
the ones that rested
Where are the individuals?
who are sensitive
who care
Where are the authentic people,
who are aware
Where are they that are concerned?
those who aren’t so desensitized and distracted
those who are willing to learn
by listening first
Where are they at?
the considerate
the literate
the deliberate
the dedicated
the compassionate
the liberated
Where are the ones that made it?
who didn’t have to come back
because they never left
the ones that did for self
and anyone else
the giving
the sharing
the faithful
the trusting,
kind
Must we miss them all?
Where are the brave ones?
those not afraid to fall
the vulnerable
the transparent
the open-books
Where are the ones who are unapologetic
for chances they took
Where are the people who fought through regret and remorse?
who rode circumstance like a horse
who grabbed life by the horns
even if they got tossed off,
never turned… away
Where are the sincere people?
the ones that say…
Please
Thank You
I’m Sorry
Forgive Me
I’ll Do Better
I Won’t Do It Again,
Where are the friends?
Where are the humans that understand being human?
the people that give chances
and take just as many
Where are the humans with heart?
that love plenty
and still make mistakes
but make it up
Where are the ones who still believe in magic?
and luck
and fairytales
and dreams come true
and happy endings
and hard work too…
Where are the peacemakers?
the peacekeepers
the peace chasers
the prayers
the wishers
the believers
the keepers,
Where are the good people?
because we need them.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet