Monthly Archives: January 2015

A Future Behind Black Boys… [POEM]

Nothing new
under this son
been hiding
and hunted
under this gun
been told not to
been mannish
been talked about
been banished
still playing games
still childish
he is still under pressure
still wild as
a kid can be
still running around
still in the streets
been curious
and testing waters
still surviving,
been slaughtered
while carrying weight,
Daddy’s name
Momma’s freight
always an expectation
a stereotype, or two
still wanting
been through
been a burden
been a way out
been a scapegoat
been a doubt
been underachieving,
and overexposed
still underestimated,
he still knows
still recognizes
still remembers
but he still dreams
still painting pictures
been felt reality
been cold to perception
been assumed to be
been skeptic
still being himself,
he can still be,

There is
A Future Behind Black Boys
A Future big enough
to push him
strong enough to stand on,
just listen
A Future screaming for belief
A Future filled
to the brim
with peace
A Future long removed
from suffering
and strife
A Future far away
from life
in the past
There is A Future
Behind Black Boys
with no mask,
no task tethered to obstacle
no such potential
as impossible
A Future bright,
full of security
and certain employment
There is
A Future Behind Black Boys,
one without Jordan
or his shoes
where he is good enough
without him having to
diminish his manhood
or question it
A Future that doesn’t lessen it
A Future with lessons that
are substantial enough
to be looked backed upon
A Future
with just as many chances
and opportunities
and privileges
as are usually given
across the track,
There is a Future,
Behind Black Boys

and investment
and Rest
Wealth and Culture,
Faith and Freedom
Peace, Unity
and Love,
There is a Future Behind Black Boys,
full of Love
and Recognition,
Reward for growing up,
and Friendship
and a difference,

There is
A Future Behind Black Boys
that we tried to squander
laundered for long enough
because we weren’t,
strong enough
to fight for them
or because we felt
their way
wasn’t right for them
and we ignored them
and their identity
while choosing a future
and thinking it a good fit,
like for them,
dulling a light out of our reach,
as it was bright, for them
picking and choosing,
their battles
and sight, for them

Still dealing with it
been doing it
but he is still using it
to become
and eventually he will
no matter how much
we let him down
or how unreal
the way here had to be,
There is
A Future Behind Black Boys,
wait and see.


©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Played (to your music)… [POEM]

There was a moment,
when I had imagined
what I wanted
nothing of the sort
had been before
but I still believed it more
kept hold of it in a dream
had written it on my sleeves
carried it
on every ship I traveled
even whispered it,
a quiet breeze
folded with the good linen
and displayed like fine china
but only a reminder
of a better time
things were much different

I once listened to love
like a song on the radio
but never went to the concert
just admired it
from a distance
a perception
but no convert
didn’t want to become
a fan
and take the chance of being
another face in the crowd,
coming to see you

So I played your song
in my head
let the melody put me to bed
fell far away from the reality
of this world
and instead
found signs and symbols
and cadence
in your rhythmic syllables
learned every note,
without trying to

I drank from your cup
a serving big enough
swallowed the textures
and let it build me up
a resistance
to music
or just songs like you
the kind that play
for everyone
except for two

and now I enjoy bands
and grooves
I’ve discovered an alternative
and Blues
I’m now an expert,
thanks to you

Now the moment
is when I hear that rift
that one string you pull
the one only you can pick
and it reminds me
that I can dance
like anyone else,
even if
all by myself.


©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Empty feeling… [POEM]

I wanted to love you
the way you loved me
the way you loved me
and no exception
but I just couldn’t
no expecting
and I shouldn’t expect you
to believe me
you just wouldn’t leave me
and so I kept it
slept in it
tiptoed around it,
crept in it
and it was hectic
a sickening feeling,
but you believed in it,
not wanting it to be true
wanting it to be you

There are no sounds
that can drown out empty
no songs
that make this better
and the nerve of me
to write this letter
crafting a mea culpa
that I should have wrote
it started
knowing that I’d parted
been there before
recognized it more,
open hearted
carted my belongings
from near and afar
and somehow
back to you
because you’d welcome me
but ajar
to let me through

Doors and windows
left cracked and open
that your voice be heard
praying over my words
giving of yourself
and more
to enjoy my words
to, in joy, my words
all that I had,
you found in my words

and it is an empty feeling,
to wait for words
to find true
we both wanted
I wanted to find myself
you wanted my words,
to find you
we both awaited
hoping to find out
which words would happen
worth every word,
to find you
but all I found out
was just that
they were just words
thrown into a fire
to burn through
I was trying to destroy a past
not burn you
but alas,
I learned too…

It is an empty feeling
to be full
and not be able to share
to be loved
and not be able to care
to be wanted
and not be there
because it is enough
to be where
you are
to take someone
into outer space
only for them to fall in love
with a star
and only thank you
for the ride
and not even acknowledge
your part

I wanted to feel
what you felt
and then I did
with someone else
and I couldn’t hide it,
you helped me find it
the look in your eyes
reminded me
that I could decide
and so I tried it,
and now I’m behind it,

This is no empty feeling
I am astounded
LOVE in the midst
and I’ve found it
not a bind
but I’m bound to it,
and somehow bound
to do it
not fighting for it
fighting through it
I was in a silent place
has this sound to it
I knew it…

that you would
make all the difference
in such a way
that you would come
and love me
and take my empty feeling
saving grace
for saving days
and then,
staying away

I wish I knew more to say
something that compensates
or completes the sentence
that these words try to create
something that explains it better
but doesn’t hurt to say
something that fills absence with more
instead of empty space
something that lets you know
that you are
and will be okay
something that isn’t so awkward
or hard to face

leave gaping holes
in what might have been
but then again
words are not supposed to
be such a burden
as much as lighten them
if they are chosen to
or make sense at all
alike a wind
unlike an end
the kind that this is
promising never again
to suffer empty feeling
or pretend.


©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Watching you sleep… [POEM]

The sound of you here
soothes me
sound asleep,
gives me peace
let’s me fall beyond
and beneath
my own insecurities,
wash away
fall by the bedside
like they were
just thrown away
not tucked underneath
like those sheets
that barely cover your thigh,
My, My, My, My, My
Like the good kisser you are
the best kisser by far
all things considered
Say something smart…
new attitudes
new habits too
Let’s pray everyday, at eight
for our sake
Keepsake that we keep safe
for our say,
you just keep saying “our”
and I’ll stay
no hour too early or late
you can keep me awake…

I prefer visuals
visceral feelings
and tune
symbiotic chemistry
and room
to decide

hand on your chest
for comfort
and surety
purely intentional
making sure you don’t go
slowly making my way into
an embrace
spooning to taste
I love the way you smell,
peppermint and sage
lemongrass and eucalyptus,
You can get this
in every place
held, in this way

I wonder if you notice
my touch
the way my eyes hold you
the way my mind folds you
into submission
the way my imagination
lifts you
the way my skin
kisses up against you
as my literature
picks you a part
not missing a part
I notice every difference

I know exactly where to start…

your brain,
mind over matter
your mind is what matters
give me your mind
and we can get over what matters,
think about it
come back to me after

I awake
and take my imaginations place…


©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Youth… [POEM]

If you don’t teach me,
then I will assume I know
If you don’t reach me,
then don’t assume I’ll grow

If you leave me to figure it,
then that I surely will
If you don’t trust me to remember it,
then what shall I truly feel?

If you hide from me your truth,
then what source shall I reference?
when I am searching for proof
and you only extend me your preference

If you don’t allow me to fumble,
how should I learn to secure?
If you don’t allow me any options,
how can I learn to be sure?

If you inhibit my experience
or limit my exposure
then expect a rebellion
you cannot keep control of

If you will not give me credit
and refuse me your praise
then why shouldn’t I be attracted
to the welcoming gang?

If you don’t chastise and correct,
then I will assume you don’t care
If you don’t define what is respect,
then I will regard with no fear

If you choose or decide,
that your plan for me better
know that I will venture
curiously to the letter

If you ignore my existence,
by refusing me growth
I will deceptively please you,
vindictively so

If you disregard my feelings
by forcing me direction
I will eventually grow cold
to needing your discretion

If you hide from me adventure
and bury through me hope
I will eventually succumb
to a horror you spoke

If you won’t listen to my plea,
nor give me a chance
how will I learn to communicate,
on what shall I stance?

If you do not mentor,
I might only know that you meant to
If you do not point me correctly,
what do I turn into?

If you don’t lead me,
then who shall I follow
If you don’t need me,
then what is tomorrow?


©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers

How… (You have no idea) [POEM]

You have no idea
how far you’ve taken me
how you said a word
to awaken me
how your rhythm
has shaken me
how you beheld a vision
and brought life
where there was vacancy,
so blatantly

you have no clue
how warm your spirit is
how it warned the spiritless
how you brought breathe
and life,
how you made sense
of sentences
that were just sentiments
before you

You have no idea
how much
I adore you,
how many times I pinch myself
or wake up reaching
with no idea where you are,
how you are teaching me
to be myself

speaking of you,
how much you prove
that everyone was supposed to be there,
even before you
nothing was wrong with time
it was ours to lose
how you make it known
that you don’t like being alone
through how you move,
You’re still right here
and you have have no idea
how it feels,
to be right next to you…


©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers

One. Nothing. Something… [POEM]

If you are sad,
then let me be sad to
and if your day is awful,
then mines shall be bad too
if misfortune should fall down
then, it had to
as long as I have you

We can get better,
we can work it out
Whatever an obstacle,
we can work around
let our work be found
to produce
situations are just situations,
We go through
as long as it is the same truth
that we go to…

Rainy days?
Let’s get wet
uncertain economy?
Let’s get set
and GO
We can find or create
our own rainbows
or roads
doors, and windows,

Just so that you know

Problems are no problem,
no option
We have no option but to
I don’t need all the answers
or all the money
or all the information
I need nothing,
but YOU

and WE can figure the rest

I figure,
WE rest

Then step towards it,
wake up the next morning,
to gorgeous
and luxury,
Let’s imagine amazing
and board it

Like a train to destiny
Let’s cook something
like a recipe

What’s your special ingredient?
I’ll be needing it
Mine is magic,
maybe yours is believing it

Watch what appears…

Let’s visualize the years
Cut-outs that cut out the shortcut,
let’s cut short the trial
we can demand it NOW,
Let’s show one another how…

You are still perfect to me
especially after everything
especially after every ding
and nick
your bruises built a better you
your scars don’t make me sick
Let me kiss your wounds to well,
It is time for your clock to tick,

No more wasted time
I like the taste of yours,
Do you like the taste of mine?

Let’s drink
We can think up a family
manifest a dynasty
turn probability into probably
into our we
until the hour we
decide to be,
honor it with me

And then, see

when you’re under the weather
let’s get under, together
let the covers cover us
smother us
or not
let me give you your flowers,
whomever is on top
just how you like it
double entendres
just how you like them

I want my metaphors to settle scores
even out the rough spots,
I know you are better for it
what is behind you looks better forward
So I am betting for ’em
odds on the long-shot,
better form
with all that we’ve got,
We’d better form

I don’t mind the wait
as long as you dont mind the state
nevermind the space
there is no time to waste,
every second accounted for
all change counted for,
comparing dimes to grace
our ties to space…

I hope you feel up to sharing your feelings
community property our foundation,
no ceilings
organic existence,
no building
natural flow,
no spilling
accurate though
no billing…

When you are down,
let me get down there too
bended knee for prayer
or just to lay there
planting seeds or turning soil,
I want to turn around your turmoil
and expect the same of you
thats what we become the same to do
“One” is the name we choose,
“Nothing” is what we have to lose
“Something” is what we have to prove.


©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Happy New Year!!!

New year
New mindset, New memories on the way
New possibilities on deck,
New chances and opportunities
New reasons to try
New choices
New songs on the radio
New voices in my head,
New relationship with myself
New understanding of what God is
New faith
New places to be, to go, to explore
New feelings
New appreciation for the things that matter
New lease on life
New concepts and ideas
New purpose
New habits and traditions
New routines
New identity
Newfound ideology
New surroundings
Newness all around
New friendships
New responsibilities
New structure
New roles
New take on everything


Happy NEW YEAR!!!