Monthly Archives: February 2015

Adrift…   [POEM]

there are no strides
no significant place
barely a remembrance
and not a trace,

ships that once passed
under winds that gave clue
for misdirected notions
in an undiscovered hue

fodder for a wise-tale
astringent for a wound
bitter for a sweetness
prolonging for a soon

on top of what is distant
in a sense for such is lost
an unto that was bartered
by a tort that didn’t cost

a feeling was the culprit
a truth that didn’t bend
vessels gone about the water
adrift without a wind.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

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No question, Needed… [POEM]

I couldn’t afford her…
only bought her closer to him
what I wanted for us
was closer to them
a fat chance
was closer to slim
it was never a fair fight
I wasn’t supposed to contend,
but I did
left and right
marks that I left at night
I left a mark,
that will be left for life
no reason to be dark,
she left for light
left for love is left alike,
I don’t feel left,
she left me right,

settled

pointed in a good direction
manual shifting is work,
versus automatic transmission
I had to leave her sick enough
in order for him to come get her
I’d always known his presence,
knew the him that come with her
knew the deeds that had been done
knew the dude that outdid her
knew the lie she tried to tell herself
knew the tricks to outwit her
so I knew that out with her
I had to be dude that was not with her
had to leave room for him
knew that my room would not fit her
wasn’t a matter of tools,
or which dude would best fit her
what happened had nothing to do with it
it was due that I get hurt
rules don’t apply to you
is what a fool says to prevent worse
this ain’t just the truth
it is approved,
a proof that approval is how you get work

and still I could end up being labeled
like I shouldn’t feel a kind of way
or I wouldn’t be able
to call it like I see it
been there, been through it, been burnt too much
been rejected, been disrespected, been hurt too much
been used, been abused, been made to bare
but baby girl you’ve been building up resistance,
you might as well be there

remember me for what ifs
remind him with my aura
next time he puts you through it,
remind him that I was boring
only willing to move as you ordered
but I get it,
no need to sort it,
or explain
you did this for self,
not esteem
I can dig it,
not a seed
bloomed already
the problem with us
was that I assumed already
and we happened way too soon,
so a future loomed all heavy
should have stayed in the cocoon
neither me, or you
were all ready
wings weren’t fully developed
so those pretty things
were just all heavy,
and the potential weighed us down
tried to play dress up,
the costumes made us clowns

a good performance
but a circus nonetheless
a whole audience entertained,
didn’t pay off,
but I can say I did invest
and I would like to suggest…

… She is still breathing
yup, and she is still leaving
who says, “I told you so”?
just remember that I told her, “Go”
changed my mind when I told her “No”
and held on,
after I was told to throw
because anyone can play catch
someone deserves to know
that watching someone else’s process
is how you learn to grow
and a lesson like this
is how you learn it, so…

I’m willing to believe now
because of us, I can believe how
so it was what it was,
nothing to leave out
if you’re going to try it once
it’s better to leave now
no telling for the future
she’s going to breathe out
not holding it in anymore
and I played a part in that,
easy to SEE how…

… Broken hearts build better men
and LOVE is better, than,
then

and when you’re ready for it,
walls don’t fall because you’re headed for them
you have to crash
and once you know what it feels like to hurt,
you won’t have to bask
if you don’t go for a present
you won’t have a past
your reason to concede it
is enough to get you pass
you won’t be the first,
you won’t be the last,
no question needed
you don’t even have to ask.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

i could… [POEM]

I could stay
Or I could walk into the sun
and just fade away
or burn
Or I could change
save somebody else the hurt
of saving me
I could be brave
refuse to let love do its thing

I could wait
try to put a love on me
become a slave,
make you my master,
shame on me
stupid things to do
make much more sense to me
so I’ll escape,
until you’re free
pretend I don’t know how you feel
and let you be

I could try
and take back my things
just leave my heart and mind preoccupied,
say what I need
give God a chance to prove herself
or not believe
run back into the arms I left,
a devils deed
Or I could breathe
the same thing I saw in you
could be found in me
I just have to see

or I could leave
try backing off from all of it
and hope to be
promises I told myself
are hard to keep
because of honesty
so I should sink
drown myself in love with you
until I blink
tired of staring at old pictures,
I could think
try and find a better way
Or I could dream
not wake up from fantasy
and start to scheme
find a way to fool myself
but a coward
is hard to be
and I could never wink
no poker face with a hand like this,
I would never drink
I’d be out of place away from you,
out of sync
and I could never eat
not after you’ve been feeding me
and if I would,
I couldn’t taste a thing.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Thought for the Moment… [#18]

 

At every moment, with any moment, while you are in the moment, ENJOY YOURSELF. Because promises are mere moments. And if you KNOW that, you can have this next level peace of mind- that I call REST ASSURANCE- in all matters. That “rest assurance” is a particular brand of confidence and comprehension that is so often unknown to people. In addition to being unknown, it is so unfamiliar to many because the status quo and regimens of what has been tradition or routine has been instrumental in clouding and distorting the view of where you could be, or what you should be doing. So you’ve left the moment. As a matter of plain fact, you’ve abandoned the moment! You’ve surrendered it for the sake of some awareness. For the sake of sacrifice. For the situation of settlement. For a sense of self-martyrdom. For the trap of self-righteousness. What a trap.
Nonetheless, the moment is there. Or here. This is the moment. And you know what, the moment is yours. It is yours to help or to be helped, it is even yours to hurt or be hurt. For real.
My advice, “Move like you mean it!”… Keep going, keep doing, and definitely KEEP LIVING. Because LIFE GOES ON. And you will miss every moment of it, being stuck or stagnant somewhere else. Caught in some expired or expensive moment. One that has cost you time, energy, and even money that you should not have to lose. Not when moments are the most abundant resource available. At any given moment, simultaneously, there are an infinite number of possibilities at your discretion. Many of which you are not aware of, don’t see, can’t recognize, will never even attempt to engage-for whatever the reason- but they are there! And while you are festering in the dysfunction of some stale assortment of frozen time-sicle, well there is a fresh batch of custom, personalized, ready and available, suited to your desires and taste, moments, right in front of you!
 I know you’re being told that the point of life is to procure a sense of ownership and identity in the scheme of the bigger picture, but I believe you may be looking at it wrong. Value and worth are so distorted in the picture and perception of what we either define or deny “perfection” to be. What “perfect” really is depends on what you REALLY want, and what it means to you. And that “perfect” so often does not mean the worldly standard and definite of what “perfection” should resemble.
And getting caught up on how things should (look, feel, be) has been proven, time and again, to be a sure-fire way to miss a moment! And the results, catastrophic, detrimental, and even deadly.
Yes, so LIVE. Live in and for the moment. Live at the moment. Make sure that whatever the choice and decision that you make is one that you can LIVE with, and MOVE LIKE YOU MEAN IT! And know that the real trick to the understanding of moments is realizing that as a human, you are entitled to admission into humanity and with humanity comes other humans that will enter your life or circle and their presence may be but a mere moment. They are guaranteed the same free-will and opportunity to shift, change, and decide, as you. To no fault of yours and sometimes at no fault of their own. It sounds almost irresponsible to present the argument that no one bears a certain accountability for the change, alteration, abruption, or interruption of things, but one of the truest sayings that you will ever here is one of the most accurate contingencies that is sure to materialize… SH*T HAPPENS. For real. And it can happen at any moment.
-see

Diurnal… [POEM]

don’t hate, love
don’t hate love
just wait love
just wait, love
whatever time it takes, love
for sake, love
do not forsake love
you once spake love
for great, love
awake, love
awake love
await love
it is not a game,
nor a race, love
you have to pace, love
change your pace love,
you might need some space, love
or find a different way, love
try and say, love
say love
just say love
today, love
or go away, love
don’t chase, love
chase love
because you can’t fake love
you cannot fake, love
it’s fate, love
so stay, love
to save love
you can be saved, love
even this way, love
just make love
make, love
don’t escape love
you can explain, love
don’t have to explain love
it’s plain, love
just plain love
and sometimes that is pain, love
that’s not strange, love
it’s quite sane, love
especially to gain love
if you remain love,
remain, love.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Else… [POEM]

Whatever it, was
just enough
to move, what
we had
far enough, away
from where
we were
into a, place
that had
no business
being placed, between
no space
that was
already in, between
who we
had agreed
and promised, we
had meant
and been
honest as, well
as sure
as could
or clearly, pretending
while misunderstood
for now
it has, become
more like
less likely
that love, decided
to skip
and rather…
go somewhere,
be somewhere,
find somewhere,
else
and that, created
some thing
some one
some where,
else
to be
to believe
to think about
without them
even being, real
if not
for you
definitely for, me
because now
there is
a question mark
where there
was once
no answer, needed
until you
created it,
so be, it
the God
that made, it
or be
the devil
that hated, this
so much
that you
would rather, not
let me
see it through
but instead
hate the, part
of me
that gave
into you, without
thinking that
one day
you would, give
to me
a choice
like this, or
to do
to make, this
ultimatum…

that I, would
have to
choose
or,
Else.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Thought for the moment… [#17]

“Crazy, Love”

“There is a chance that no one or no thing can ever fill the void that is left by love. And every soul fears that. The possibility of never being resolved or repaired from a broken heart is an unimaginable pain and yet so common of a remembrance for too many of us. It leaves a bitter and sour taste that sits stubbornly in the paths of our way. It screams in our silence, it blares in our darknesses.
To be deserted, or to feel deserted by love, is to be ripped and torn from the very fabric of comfort and safety that you may have known. It leaves you a naked that can not easily be unashamed or made to feel wanted. That kind of nakedness is cold and unfair. It is ugly and soulless. It deserves pity and embarrassment. It reaches out to shame and hopelessness for answer, it beckons to despair for purpose, it calls on hurt for identity. It succeeds effortlessly at navigating the bottomless depths of self-torture and public ridicule. That kind of sickening is a just effect of what being abandoned or abused by the monster of love feels like.
Because you are never a match for love. You are no more formidable opponent than you are a legitimate foe. Love chooses, and that is it. What love says it what goes. What love allows is what you do. Where love directs is precisely where you will go.
And if love decides to finish or quit, then what you have is whatever love left you with: Pain that is perforated with the perfect pictures of something that happened in the past, smiles on the tail end of tears that relentlessly find presence at the most inopportune times, and inconsistency beyond compare.

Yet, we long for love. We long to be taken back by love. We chase after love. We pray and plea for love. We do unreasonable and unrealistic, impossible feats for love, even for the remnant of love.
We sacrifice and settle for the similarities of what seems like love. And somehow it all makes sense. And it makes greatness. It makes amazing music. It makes us feel some kind of way. A way that maybe no one- outside of you- understands, unless they too have experienced it. And that is an experience that you just have to know for yourself…

And there is nothing like it. Especially if it is good. Especially when it is good. There is nothing like good love.

Even when it goes away.”

-see

Going… [POEM]

before you retreat
check every crevice
inspect all sides thoroughly
weigh balance, leverage
go underneath and behind,
under and in-between
double check for accuracy
leave no trace, clean
reflect, regret, and remember
as needed to face
release, reveal, reconsider
as needed to erase

then stop, stand in the midst
breathe reality, then dismiss

turn around with power
one foot forward with pride
the closer you get to the door
the sooner you’ll be outside
there is a difference, unlike
there is a newness, unseen
there is another place to flee
somewhere you deserve to be.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

hard ways, big arms, full plates, and his lap… [POEM]

Daddy’s a gonna learn you a lesson
Momma’s a gonna teach you to pray
Granny’s gonna fix you some fixin’s
Pop-Pop’s advice gon’ run you away

Friends is good for shootin’ the breeze
God gone answer baby and fool
eat the greens just like you does that sweet cornbread
“Elbow grease is your greatest tool.”

White man ain’t no more man than you are
change gon’ come you wait and see
salmon croquettes is to be eatin’ with fingers
“Fishin’ and huntin’ is how a man gon’ eat.”

Pay attention, listen careful
the bible is the way for sure
granny bread and bacon for breakfast
“Man made you sick, the earth is made to cure.”

Keep love below your belt buckle
trust the Lord to guide you right
banana pudding is okay for breakfast
“A shot of whiskey is a solemn right.”

Get yo portion, let it be
get married son, it pleases God
buttermilk biscuits and pies made from scratch
“A working man don’t get no tired.”

Can’t no woman argue alone
change gonna come, my child
apple cider vinegar and epsom salt
“Hurt gon hurt but a lil while.”

Daddy’s a gonna learn you a lesson
Momma’s a gonna teach you to pray
Granny’s gonna fix you some fixin’s
Pop-Pop’s advice gon’ run you away.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Live… [POEM]

At some point
you have to give up
let the past go
and get up
take the losses
accept what occurred
see it for what it is
not blurred
move on
leave the pride behind
press play
and not rewind
acknowledge defeat
embrace the pain
recognize the power
for the sake of change
see that some things die
and never return
some lessons are only lived
and never learned
some hurt is permanent
there are wounds that survive
an absence of forever
is not the end of time
forgiveness is a maybe
closure can be a myth
opportunity is a gamble
every chance is still a risk
tomorrow is not a promise
today is only now
the past is unlike the present
if you decide to make it out
at some point, deception
becomes a factor of your life
you find that people do people
and they don’t always do it right
trust is no religion
fidelity, no reward
for any moment is susceptible
to the discretion of its sword
success is circumstantial
failure is to your discern
value is a secret treasure
that worth can never earn
no reason to suffer proudly
or agonize in regret
same is to be said of love
which is possible by respect
of no reflex is commitment
and no routine is it to give
the true purpose of life
is in fact that simple, LIVE…

At some point
you have to try
without knowing
or why.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet