Monthly Archives: March 2015

When the clouds don’t sleep… [POEM]

tonight looked and felt like yesterday
with nothing to say
somehow I kept to myself
but now is just today
and the sky is still awake
because nothing changed
It won’t stay that way
because soon is going to rain
and I will have to hold you
so that you don’t wash away
or just because I want to
or in order to be sane
or for the sake of some might say,
not going to play
I hope you understand
that I have no regrets
nor do I like to wait
so I will have to impose a will
that will more than likely change
or make a kind of different
that will never be the same
and what becomes of silence
that knows just what to say
is much difficult for both of us
like pretending to be estranged
your skin still tastes like cream
and your naked still gets me
your eyes still hold the vision
your energy still lifts me
but I don’t like the pain
of only dreaming these things
words don’t deserve to convince you
and action is yet restrained

I hope good forever for you
but I must take a train
not going to come outside anymore
and watch you leave again
time for that cloud to rest
I believe you, too much to wait
and this is for the best
that, or asking you to stay

this mornings cloud left something
a sign of things to come
an opening that broke its hold
and I was shown the sun.


©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers



Thought for the Moment [#20]

You know what kind of love I want?

I want the kind of love that picks me out of a crowd. While I’m surrounded by people that may be better, or more, or make more sense, or look better, have more money, more talent, even more potential. I want a love that has ALL OF THOSE OPTIONS, and still CHOOSES ME! Because I make sense to them. I want a love that WANTS me. Not someone that only needs me, or settles for me, I want a love that WANTS ME! A love that makes a conscious decision to make me a priority, and partner, and preference.

I don’t just want a “soul” mate, I want a SOLE mate! I want a someone that exclusively decides to forget the past, and has no reservations or questions about the future. They just maximize and materialize the moment of NOW. Making the most of US, putting EVERY effort and energy into US. Someone that is DELIBERATELY active in building OUR brand. I want a love that understands that what, who, where, when, and why, HAPPENED! That’s it. It HAPPENED.
And whatever happened BEFORE US, HAPPENED BEFORE US. It is over. It is gone. It is DONE. As a matter of fact, IT HAPPENED, and that made US possible! So there are no questions about OUR pasts or our previous life choices, but for the purpose of being ABLE to protect WHAT WE HAVE by using the lessons we learned, and lives we have lived, for the sake of LOVING ONE ANOTHER!
I want a love that HELPS ME to CREATE a specific and unique relationship that compliments OUR best and is uncomplicated by our worst. I want a love that selects US as the reason and point. I want a love that gets that.
I want this love that knows that LOVE is a process. But that doesn’t mean it has to be so processed. It can be spontaneous and different and unique and ever-evolving! It can be perfect. It can be real. It can be OURS!
It can be magical.
I want a love that sees me as a canvas. And decides to create on, in, around, and WITH ME! And has no idea nor intention to give me up. Because MY LOVE, chooses the picture and is FINE with the picture and point of view. And has the perspective of seeing that I AM WILLING AND MORE THAN ABLE TO RECIPROCATE EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE ASKED AND REQUIRED OF IT. I want a love that wants a love like mine. I DESERVE a love that DESERVES a love like mine!
I want a CONFIDENT love. With rest assurance and realness. A love that has experience and still has energy. I want a love that has feeling, the sensitive-to-the-touch kind of feeling. I want a love that has been banged-up, and bruised, but IS BETTER, because of that. A love that BELIEVES that it deserves to be better. I want a love that is able to get better. A love that isn’t too hurt to heal. I want a love that recognizes pain and is able to deal with pain and STILL chooses LOVE, over pain.
Yes, a REAL LOVE. Human, unapologetically. With reason to stay still, but with room to grow. I want a love that recognizes LOVE. A love that remembers LOVE. A love that reaffirms LOVE. A new LOVE. Like, the kind of new that stays new, even after we have spent the rest of our lives creating it. I want a love that EXAMPLES and EXPRESSES ITSELF. A love that we can pass on and profess, effortlessly. A love that is so amazing that we don’t even know how to explain how AMAZING it feels.
I want the kind of love that knows no love, other than ours.

… and I am ready.


©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Over the Noise… [POEM]

I can’t hear you
distraction by light
what was potential
once by right

the sound of beautiful
victorious hymn
ashamed into pitiful,
saddened by dim

you only get to love
as many times as you can
broken hearts are a piece
sometimes part of the plan

you should take the journey
follow the path
come back when you’re ready,
and then we can laugh

but at this moment,
no reason to suit
you’ve a crowd amidst,
and I can’t hear you.


©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Nostalgia… [POEM]

I think of you
more now
than ever before
that you’re gone
only stops a breathe
holding it in
to remember
forcing myself
to surrender,
time to start over
or tarry on

you were once there
to say such a thing
and now you’ve disappeared
a memory
reminds me to forget
or at least quit
trying to find you
when there is a blankness,
behind you
that erases every word
before I get to speak
leaving me
to think,

I wonder if time believes you
like I do
and if space
grants you permission
to move on
like I tried to
or if this is all a dream
that I have been lied to
how are you so cold
leftover winter
how can this long
like leftover dinner
i still enjoy the thought
crumbs still on the table
I am unable to walk away

You used to say
that I would be just fine
and I thought
you were just trying
to give me the strength
that you had back then
but you were bending
to teach me
that life is but
a fleeting thing
and is almost better served
in memory

when I say your name
you exist
and as I write it out
you persist
to be just as much now
as you you ever were
for a better service
being what I need
so I can leave
step away from pain
that you’ve journeyed on
is just a change
and those happen,

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers


Thought for the Moment… [#19]

Hey YOU…

I believe you. I believe in you. I believe FOR you! Sending a confident trust with the EXPECTATION of fulfillment toward you. Sending vibration and reverberations throughout the UNIVERSE, on YOUR behalf. Speaking into the atmosphere, positivity and peace, for YOUR sake. Meditating and breathing good STRONG thoughts about YOUR very existence.

I want you to thrive! I want you to thrust forward- with SO MUCH zeal and tenacity- into the space and time of NOW! I want you to progress and prosper, indeed.

You deserve a chance. YOU ARE ENTITLED TO A CHANCE. No reason other than for having breath in YOUR body, and having the willingness to explore, experience, and EXAMPLE any, or EVERY option that awaits YOUR deliberate practice. I see YOU taking a chance. I see YOU MAKING THE MOST and BEST of the chances that you get. I admire that in you. I admire that about you.

It IS your turn! This IS your time. YOU ARE READY. NOW!

… There is an opportunity awaiting you, and I believe that YOU are prepared and the particular person to take it. I not only wish YOU the best, but I expect it from you, and I look forward to all of the AMAZINGNESS that you ARE going to do with what happens. So excited FOR you!


Sooner…   [POEM]

how far does
“going to be a butterfly”
I bet a caterpillar knows
even as the caterpillar goes
through cycle and change
as it might get estranged
from the cold and familiar
bold but unwilling
the mess that life becomes
all the process
takes you from
while sequestered to cocoon
I wonder if it ever wonders,
or sooner
wandered into the doom
of unknown and expectation
the fears that come with chasing
the years that come with patience
the dark
and the noise
the timing
and the void
how does it feel
lying on a back
that will one day have wings
but at this moment only being,
oh, the angst
the mystery
or could it be…
knowing that one day you’ll fly
helps you crawl
knowing that you can run,
helps you fall
I bet a caterpillar knows
as the caterpillar grows
stowed away for purpose
considering the situation,
earned by no fault of its own
lest you forget your stumble
once you’ve flown
I wonder of the promise
that the caterpillar has known
fluttering with infatuation
inebriated by the cadence
of color and pattern
caveat, the latter
but nothing assumed
because the caterpillar
is still a butterfly
with some growing to do
and it always believes that
its season will come
as sure is the sun
until it is done,
no matter how much
I would like it to be,


©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers

I have a feeling… [POEM]

I have a feeling
that soon they will be dead
those who hold the stories,
and the truth within their head
the remnants and our reservoir,
the elders and the guides
the ones who lived the story
who know the truth some choose to hide
soon, they will depart
leaving youth and lust behind
to settle into history
amongst the figures a past defined
I have a feeling
that we are not prepared
we didn’t do the diligence
towards a justice we hadn’t faired
and so something will move on
abandon us to ourselves
and for what we have not
a future will await us unwell
I have a feeling
strong, sure, and loud
that lessons will soon leave here
ones we will know nothing else about.


©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Hard/Dumb…   [POEM]

It’s hard to wipe your fears
when your hands are tied
its dumb to hide your tears
when they know you’ve cried

fun to make a joke
about being hurt
but pain is all too familiar,
hiding it doesn’t work

it’s hard to turn your head
when love is in your face
it’s dumb to act unhurt
because it walked away

strange to feel the urge
or pretend you don’t
saying that you’ll stay mad
but you know you won’t

it’s hard to hide your heart
from someone who cares
and it’s dumb to say, “Leave”
when you want them there.


©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Landscape…   [POEM]

skies that make the day
seem much more
than what it was not
whenever I’d come outside
to discover how much bigger
my problems were before
and after I had lot
let go of a rainy day
in exchange for a cloud
protected by the shadow
encompassed in a shroud
left for a thought about afar
and an away that I could go
wished upon like stars
that shot to and fro
but never unto me
no matter of the deed
whisked away by challenge
taken apart by thieves
stolen for no other reason
than having to had been left
and not discovered alive,
until a somewhat death
to the chagrin of a valley
that welcomed me within
at the beckon of a zenith
that yelled down for me to win
while a sun sets
on a horizon
that does the very thing
to no surprise yet
for a moment that is
opportune and wet
fluent in a foreign tongue
but readily understood
I’ve welcomed into the possibility
the hope that now is good
so out against the odds
and in the thick of now
the landscape is my chance
a view and scope of how.


©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Bitter…   [POEM]

words that taste like lemon
bitter every sound
tarting the pallet of my pleasure,
no sweetness to be found

strange and distorted flavor
unfamiliar to my tongue
a dry and robust disdain,
suffocating toward my lungs

an ugly kind of beauty
a seed planted not to grow
the gritty texture of substance
that I would rather never know.


©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers