Monthly Archives: July 2015

Pawn… [POEM]

listening to love songs
with him in mind,
while I am at your side
seeing a different world in front of me,
still blind,
I still try

a different opening,
new strategy,
counter moves,
and a plan
as much as it was,
there is still a chance…

nothing expert or grandmaster,
just going after the win
willing to take loss as necessary,
champion of that,
again

I made a move,
then waited,
you moved just as quickly,
then debated
those are the rules,
nothing like before,
like you stated

there was a clock,
then take your time,
there was no format,
then there were signs
another body in the room,
neither of those were mine,
decide

the insignificant piece
plays the most important part
front line in the war of love,
aligned,
for your heart

only the best moves will do
the next move will prove
the same that is a game to some
is for others much more to lose,

but what else could we do?

act like this is checkers,
knowing it to be chess
being given all one wanted,
when there is still such an unrest,
still searching for best

music makes you remember
but the room…
needs to be silent to contend for
or concentration may be lost,
subliminal messages,
that you send for

what does that look mean,
is that look me?
or is that the look that knows,
that I know what it’s not to be

a castle too early
a defense made too late
pausing for time to consider
being eager to wait

I’ve played this game before,
choose the best piece to prevail
this time I was the pawn,
the one piece I hadn’t known so well.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

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True Feelings… [POEM]

my soul is awoken
words spoken from your lips
slipped
into my subconsciousness
and I became nauseous,
tripped
unmemorized my lines
and flipped
went from poet,
to pimp
in my own rhyme
intermittent visits sent me adrift,
spent
in my own time
but aware
sitting here,
remembering you,
standing there
monument of sorts
you alone, enshrined
a gift
to the spirit world
the passions of a parable
an inevitable surrealness
touch being so delicate
that I found myself hard
to resist,
quip
came into your world,
quick
interruption of moments,
intended,
script
what is it made for?
this is exactly it,
split

my peace is driven
by your resilience
I sit still
so that I am able to feel it
no need for séance
we create a chaos
that functions
on a frequency even visible
a deliberate duality of sound
indivisible
and yet we are so individual
I, without you, hurting
you, without me, miserable

how long before we finish
before we replenish ourselves
before we extinguish the fire
before we melt
before we allow another day to pass
before we forget the rules
before we win this war of feelings
before we lose.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Play with Words… [POEM]

You left me,
right
darkened my soul,
light
ruined my day,
night
all for play,
fight

stopped me from looking up,
downed
pulled me from the lake of tears,
drowned
betrayed our privacy,
clowned
for the sake of being serious,
frowned

there was no way,
lost
I gave you your free,
cost
held onto dignity,
tossed
heart broken fever,
frost

pretending to be good,
bad
presenting an awkward smile,
mad
celebrating your independence,
sad
giving away the rights to you,
had

thoughts toward eternity,
end
keep it to yourself,
send
we won’t ever be lovers,
friends
the wounds are too fresh,
mend

You left me,
right
darkened my soul,
light
ruined my day,
night
all for play,
fight.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Make Me… [POEM]

make me wait
before you’re ready
make me taste
before I eat
make me want
before I trust you
make me consider
before I speak

make me know
before I prefer it
make me rest
before I go
make me listen
before I try it
make me believe
before I know

make me wonder
before I assume
make me decide
before I do
make me like
before I defend it
make me fight
before I lose

make me spoil you
before I surrender
make me support you
before I commit
make me comfortable
before I change anything
make me stand
before I sit

make me your only
before I feel
make me proud
before I see fear
make me remember
before I choose to wait
make me a way
before I come near

make me desire
before I start to dream
make me the reason
before I explain
make me known
before I feel abandoned
make me yours
before it’s too late.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Hurt…   [POEM]

I wish you died in a fire
last breath choked by flame
smoke, the last you saw coming
charred, the way you remain

… but I would make that place a memorial
and I would visit by the day
listening to the mourners mourn you
broken hearted, by the way

in a room that was made of straw
with windows for all to see
I hope you struggled to find the end
and instead suffered miserably

… while I remember you once loved me
how you promised me the world
time spent together in abundance,
moments you swore never to unfurl

with pain that ate you alive
and suffering that kept you hurt
while an audience witnesses your demise
smiling, for all it’s worth

… I won’t go quiet without you
I must urge the world to see
that gone to glory is an angel
one whom once lived here, with me

as your ashes drown in the embers
a smoldering residue of your mess
I promise to wash away the remnants with tear water,
but to the arson, I’ll never confess

… How I miss you, ever so badly
can’t imagine why you’d go
spend all my days left trying to find you
pretending lost in all I know.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Miss Communication…   [POEM]

the one that got away
called today
and I answered
no chance I wasn’t going to
wondered…
what she was going through
and if I could
still hear care in her voice
if I was still ever a choice
I don’t care, but I do
but that’s not true
I’m still feeling the effects
of my foolish
stupid, that I didn’t do it
what I was supposed to
instead of choosing
to leave her behind
and she never lets me forget
will always remind
always find the opening
to close the door
each time we talk,
closes it more
in so many words
and I’m still finding the crack,
trying to get back
by any means
so many voids
yet, I can’t help it
betrayed trust
turns into paranoia
but I have never felt it
while seeing her interest
as interest
willing to try anything
as long as she stays on the phone
even if it’s just
until she gets home
to the there
that I would never be
making sense of this nonsense,
this is our time
a memory,
or enough for me
justification
testing out patience
or her will power,
an egotistical tragedy
but I’ll be here
regardless
with apologies
and reason I won’t
ever do that again
things akin to definiteness,
very specific
the most I could ever pretend
because the truth is
because of her,
it won’t happen again

the one that got away
called today
and there is nothing I could do
to change it
as strange as it seems,
I still believe
that what happened, happened
for the best
and no one else
could have been
more deserving
as unnerving
and catastrophic as it is
this is what it is
and she can call
for as long as she pleases
teasing or taunting,
I forgive,
support her move on,
daunting
I am available, on reserve
whatever she deems
my punishment,
I deserve

the one that got away
called today
I picked up,
again
and we talked,
as always
nothing changed.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

They Shoot… [POEM]

they shoot for nothing
they shoot for fun
they shoot the fathers
they shoot the sons
they shoot blindly
they shoot erratic
they shoot gauges
they shoot automatics
they shoot fast
they shoot slow
they shoot high
they shoot low
they shoot the innocent
they shoot the wrong
they shoot for seconds
they shoot too long
they shoot for reason
they shoot for cause
they shoot for vengeance
they shoot for applause
they shoot down daughters
they shoot up blocks
they shoot into crowds
they shoot nonstop
they shoot before morning
they shoot after school
they shoot regardless
they shoot like fools
they shoot for ego
they shoot for pride
they shoot for truth
they shoot for lies
they shoot down hopes
they shoot down dreams
they shoot without knowing
they shoot with ease.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Thoughts toward You… [POEM]

regaining focus
almost where I could be
hopeless
but there
and where I should be
a distraction,
token
how do we interact
after seeing such promise left
maybe you’re coming back
maybe you never know my reasons
or maybe you rest
more than likely
for no more than hope
and I can live with that
that you wish for my return
while becoming my dope
a notion that never became
an addiction developed,
most

I won’t ever forget you
nor let you forget me
no matter where change takes us,
the moon will always be
and thus will always see
reason to still be open enough
if not for ever,
for at least once
as much as needed
or to keep in touch,

remembering how it feels
I won’t ever replace your real
won’t even think
of forgetting your remarkable,
and I will always be unveiled
somehow always available
a convenience to your word
accommodation of your need
thinking about the reasons to
observe
a desire to stay with you
a truth that I will always concede,
served

you are still
every bit and first
the different that made a difference,
the one, for all it’s worth
no one will ever compare,
not in all the earth
and all, is all you deserve
even if I only made that worse…

in no particular order,
I believe you
I believe in you
I think of you
I understand
I never intended to hurt you
I always wanted the best for you
I miss you
I can

just so that it is known,
the sky is still blue
couches are still comfortable
those favors are still due
feelings still in the same place,
and my habits are still few
just as predictable as ever,
but your essence is still new.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

reason, for Her… [POEM]

her feelings are hurt
realizing where she was
never being considered more
always just his just because

her heart is now broken
pieces particle into dust
she gave him free reign
he kidnapped her to trust

her mouth cannot speak life
she is snared to see it blue
once arbitrary compulsion
now routine and ritual

her soul cries out for order
amidst the chaos of his need
finding time to be unnoticed
or be a victim of his greed

her hands no longer save him
instead bound to disbelief
grabbing frantically for life
atop a disappearing peace

her mind cannot be settled
while hostage is her want
she is captive to a terror
her freedom doth he taunt

her eyes no longer see it
as they did when it was not
he is not what all she wanted,
but he is now, and all she got.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Over…   [POEM]

Never again shall I believe you
for you’ve only led me away
misguided me through the meantime,
while casually planning to stray

for what would I conjure emotion
of what sense does it make to believe
I discarded the ways of feeling for you
there is only room left to perceive

your whole is having its way
your way is halving this hole
the piece that you once put together
is now breaking apart at the soul

the dance that defined you is boring
your moves are unpleasant and stale
the torture of watching your freedom
is causing me all sorts of hell

why not let an anger invade me
why wouldn’t I find it to use
I deserve the pleasures of irony
and karma is just no excuse

for reasons I will not surrender
for the sake of seeing you go
I will only allow that you suffer
with the feeling of being unknown.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet