Monthly Archives: April 2017

i could feel… [POEM]

there are reasons to love
and be made fool of
at least once
every chance you get
for the sake of a chance to say
that such is not a myth
instead more like got to be
yet for some it is everything,
and not to me
but the pain that comes in tow
is one that only death should know
yet here i am again
wishing love to be my friend
or to at least find mercy even
when alas that love is leaving
to play sport of another’s heart
and turn so my light to dark
for nothing but the thrill
of saying i could feel.

-see

©2017 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

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Choke…   [POEM]

fickle as a heart can be
damned it was so usual to me
kicking about the grounds as leave
for no other reason than best if we

should you find a way home
i would absolutely go

passing time as more than such
but never ever meaning much
for what would serve a sooner try
than acting toward a living lie

after the world shows you right
come to my space the after night

rude it is of consequence
to mock the life of same
and there we were all meant to be
but too afraid to change

if you ever need to breathe
come suffocate with me.

-see

©2017 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

i find you… [POEM]

i find
you
then here i am,
lost again
searching the ways to love you
at any cost there is
i find
you,
somewhat beyond this ordinary
a particular breed of different,
more than every
greater than, unequal to
not even amazing can equal you
and i find
you
beautiful above all
inside and out
from your past
to the present you are to me
this time amounts
to perfect
i find you worth it
a purpose that responds in change
so unlike my beautiful before
you reflect the same
so i find
you
even in my quiet
even when i am right next to you
even if i don’t try it
to fall asleep aside
staring you alive
living inside this perpetual moment
floating this sky
’till i find
you
by some window
waiting me to bid you near
asking for your soul in matrimony
showing my whole so clear,

because i find
you.

-see

©2017 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

attempt at… [POEM]

there is an emptiness
a space left after you
a hole filled with something else’s
just something else’s,
and there is nothing left to do
but feel the void
i escaped assurance
for the sake of paranoid
more questions than your questions
i’m somewhat skeptical
so my mind offers suggestions

i should stop thinking
or start drinking
a vice would suffice
when what’s left won’t get me right
lest i repeat a cycle
practice for the recital
i bet this excites you
that i’m not so well
and you can tell

here’s this image
this unfortunate blemish
this wickedness seeming to exist
and an audacity to remiss
suppose a heart had its own way
unabated by the brain
immune of sorts to possibility
and ignorant to change
but we’d still have been the same
i, part of the problem
you, part of the game

i would do it another way
instantly
juxtaposition in accord with healing,
eventually
somewhat disdain for the result,
specifically
the whole thing could have been,
differently

where is the redemption
does mistake qualify exemption?
maybe there was good reason
validation for an attempt
when all is well upon all is gone
i was there all along
not to leave for the sake of indelible
this thirst is almost edible
absolutely incredible
i am still here,

Where are you…

-see

©2017 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

oh-ver…   [POEM]

almost said i do
before i was able to
would have been a tragedy
the kind love aspires to
but could have gotten through
or at least mean to
like most
but i want you to be forever
like ghost
i lean for happiness to haunt you
like host
there to see you through
and hurt you till you heal
develop callouses to being lied to
and get over pain,
because you tried to
with no feeling
because it died to
that’s real
that’s the solution to being killed
eternal life is a skill,
applied to
and i almost went the way
of not choosing what i mean to say
standing there at an alter
indifferent to the day
making promises i hope to break
like i am present for presences sake
what time does time take
how far is time away
and how long can time wait
if you only pretend to be awake…

i almost let you leave
without forcing you to breathe
should have pushed you away
or at least made you see
that going would be best
but staying would hurt less
in the mean time we die
like wings that cannot fly.

-see

©2017 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

buy-polar…  [POEM]

i get to ask you questions
and i demand answers,
i deserve truth
because i love myself
now that i’ve learned to
forget that i yearn you
no hurt is worth me losing faith
the sun brings forth life
but it burns too
and i’d rather live
so i’m giving myself a right to
with or without you,
depending on how i feel
based on how you comport
even more so on what you conceal
so i’ll let you heal
fall apart without me
blame me if you need to
it doesn’t matter what i say
as long as you believe you
perception becomes reality
when you allow it to seem to.

-see

©2017 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

grieving process…  [POEM]

… this morning
i am mourning
moaning out your name
for a change
in sighs that sound the same

and i can tell it’s showing
like everything now
this hour says keep going
i just don’t know how
an insubordinate remembrance
keeps me toward the down
and this morning
it is so loud

like an overwhelming
telling me to wake
referring me to face my feelings
against my better sake
for the luxury of just in case
and i am still hurting
enjoying the same place

haven’t moved since Monday
more than that many years ago
but somehow stayed it present,
prolific mastery of my low
and it isn’t all your fault
but i need for you to know

that i awoke this morning
in mourning
moaning out your name.

-see

©2017 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Love is (what you make it)… [POEM]

love is too often
unrequited
and so i recite it…

“i will not love by myself”

not you,
not anybody else
not for any reason
so either reciprocate
or remove yourself

love is too damn ambiguous,
so be more specific

not just “You’re the only one…”
but You
-Insert full name here-
ARE the ONLY one
that
i
Am
Committed
Dedicated
and Faithful to

The only one that
i share my body with
and only one i romance
the only one i give that energy to
say you are where i belong,
you are the only one that can

life is so random
i want change and consistent
to go in tandem
and it be just us
from here on out
partners in perpetuity,
what i’m talking about

is different
by difference
not just the way
but what we say,
listen

happiness is relative
and subject to growth
we are not what we did
we are what we do the most

Can we host fidelity?

and be honest
i need your presence at all times,
i can do without a promise

words are just words
even when you mean them
you have to be who you say you are,
so i can believe them

and i will more than express,
i will example
there is no time to waste,
the requirements are ample

feelings are abundant
and memories always make sense
but i have made a choice
and my soul is convinced

WE get to be together
because we decide and do the work
and all that happens then
is perfection as a perk.

-see

©2017 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet