I just want to make it
to the end of a sentence
without forgetting
or remembering
unnecessary things
like memories
like mentioned histories
and the past that came along
and snatched some of it away
I want to complete a thought
without the pain
without saying how sorry
or minus the regret
just a plain sort of existence
without having to object
or explain before I explain
what I was explaining
before I was interrupted
by myself
a rude habit I picked up
to help
to distract me from the clarity
the clear pictures I see
images and perceptions
that are deadly
and of no consequence
but I have no confidence
while I know that constant is
these run-on, rambling, repetitive
reasons
I can’t get to a period
without bleeding
at least 13 commas and 4 quotations 2 question marks inserted with no spacing
I just want to say it
I want to say it
want to say it
speak clearly and enunciate
show how smart I am
and not underestimate
the truth of my truth
I want to pick up all my baggage,
then let it loose
let it run out of my mouth
like air escapes
the gap next to my tooth
I want to imagine a thought
then see it through
in the middle of that
is where I remove
any inhibitions or pause
where I accept that I am
just like everyone else,
flawed
where I step down
from my position
and earn a place
I just want to get it out
express it,
Face

Let me get out a paragraph
without paraphrasing
without saving
someone else’s feelings
without hiding
what really happened
without feeling guilty
for being human
I just want to be vulnerable
and be used to it
be useful
I’m trying to do it
tell myself that it is okay
that I have no reason to hide
everyone sees my mistakes
but forgets that I tried
can I get the chance…
to survive?
I want to say my feelings were hurt
and I felt
that I wanted it to work
but it didn’t
I want to finish what I start
present the whole way through
feel no reason to be ashamed
speak clearly
and continue
to feel no different
than whatever difference
is natural
I want to see what happens,
after I do
once I’ve changed
when all is said and done,
Same

I want to communicate
commute in pace
speak the native language
like an avid listener
give and take,
equally
I don’t want to be quiet,
I want to speak for me
minus context clues
or assumptions
free from any inference
that one was…
I want to breathe,
because
and not for choking
laugh from life
and not for joking
provoking undivided attention
for sense,
complete thoughts
without having to convince
myself,
that I need help,
Say.

-see

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet