Today’s -see 2/21/2023

The only place I’d ever been afraid of was “rock bottom”. Because I knew that in that place I’d have to deal with me. I’d have to face me. I’d have to confront and comfort, me. I’d have to be honest with me.

I was afraid to do that because I know the hurt that I have. I know the secrets. I know the pain. I know the problems. I know the anger. I know the frustration. I know the questions.

I know the guilt.

So I spent years upon years trying to avoid me. Trying to not feel. Trying to not acknowledge the me that desperately needed my attention.

Instead I’ve attempted to focus on everything and everyone else.

But the purpose and the plan and the potential of my life REQUIRES me to be whole. Not perfect, but whole. I can’t be just an expression. I have to be an example. I have to speak my truth because that’s the power that God gave me. I’m able to endure. And then explain. I have no problem telling my story. I have no issue speaking my mind. I’m okay with me. And that is the example someone else needs to see. That it’s okay to say you’re hurting. It’s okay to speak your truth. It’s okay to be human.

That is what I’ve realized in my experience, that we are all human. We all have experiences. We all go through. We’re all going through.

A few years back I let go. Released the grip I had on trying to keep it all together. I didn’t make an announcement, I just stopped. I stopped trying to avoid the head-on collision that would be me dealing with me. And in this time, God allowed for me to get some clarity and even a sense of closure that I’d long been searching for. It has been tough! It has taken so much out of me.

But I hit that rock bottom. I hit my rock bottom. There, I did exactly what I’d always knew I’d do: I ran into me. Without any energy to fight. No strength to run away. No desire to turn around or not allow it to happen.

I discovered the me that I’d left long ago: The inner child. The 6-8 year old that was introduced to sex via molestation. The 8-14 year old that had inappropriate sexual relations and learned about domestic dysfunction and abuse. The 11-14 year old going through puberty without a man available to teach or tell him what was going on. The complicated relationship with a biological father that had issues of his own and was not equipped to assist in any way. The 15 year old that dealt with bullying and low self-esteem. The 15 year old that found his mothers murdered body inside of their home. The 15 year old that was forced to make decisions because the “adults” in the room decided it best to pressure the 15 year old to go against the wishes of his mom in order to appease the faith and the family. The 15 year old that experienced abandonment and isolation from an entire community leaving he and his siblings after their mothers murder. The 16 year old that tried to maintain a sense of strength and consistency for he and his siblings.

There is so much more in those first years that I did not mention but some of these are the issues I had to heal from at rock bottom. The healing process has been ugly. It’s been painful.

But I refused to abandon it. I refused to let the little boy me down again. Even if the world does, I won’t, ever again.

So I had to acknowledge these things. And much more about myself. Things done to me and things I’ve done. I had to accept all of it as my truth, my story, my identity. First that little boy that experienced tremendous hurt and harm. Then the boy that became the hurt and harm to himself and to others. I had to take accountability for my involuntary, my inadvertent, and my intentional actions. Because they are all me.

And I’m still “facing the music”. I still have issues and individuals to heal with. I’m actually excited about that.

Because at “rock bottom” I discovered that I was important enough to get up. I’m important enough to move on. I’m important enough to keep going.

I’m worth it.

I’ve been able to look at the “whole” me and find value. Every word of my story was necessary to tell the WHOLE story. As I’ve told myself, “… YOUR story is more important when YOU tell it.”

I am important.

I matter.

I mean something.

I’m okay.

I deserve healing.

I am entitled to better.

I will win.

I appreciate me.

I believe in myself.

I believe myself.

I like myself.

I love me.

-see

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Today’s -see 2/20/2023

I don’t argue about God. I might go back and forth with God (in my mind, in my spirit, in my self-talk) because oftentimes I’m not clear on what I’m doing and sometimes feel like God “allows” me to spin my wheels without going anywhere, unnecessarily. But it’s always turned out good and to my benefit from the perspective that I have consistently and constantly found myself to be guided by the presence of God in my life. I’m okay with that. This is my life.

I’m not getting into God-arguments though. Not anymore. God doesn’t need me to defend God. God doesn’t need me to justify, prove, persuade, convince, or argue that or why I believe God to be. God doesn’t need me as a spokesperson for God. This is God I’m speaking of! God- responsible for the creation and maintenance of existence- does not need me to validate that God is. And I won’t spend another second doing that. Not when I know what God is for me. With or without religion, in or out of a church, up or down in my feelings, God is. That’s where I’m at with it.

I’m not confused about it either. I’m not trying to figure out what and which text is the best one or one I should most-loosely adhere to. I’m not confused by which part or paragraph is to be taken verbatim versus which should be analyzed and ascribed to analogy or anecdote. I don’t believe I’m supposed to figure that out. I’m not going to try to.

I believe that I am here to be here. To be present and aware in the NOW of however long of a moment that I have in this realm. I know that I am here. I believe that while I am here it is my responsibility to connect and exhibit compassion, to show consideration, to acknowledge consistency, to conclude that grace and understanding are the best means and measures by which to accept and address humanity. I’m not here to be perfect. I’m here to participate. To experience pain and passion just the same. With eagerness to learn from the opportunity to exist.

I’m not here to be God.

I believe that I am very much so a particle of God. I believe that all the things that I consider good, God created. I believe that all the things that I consider not so good, God created. Because I believe that God is THE creator. Of ALL.

I know that there are a great number of things that I don’t know.

I know that I can suppose and assume and suggest and surmise a great deal about what I think God desires or demands. I know that I can get as lost as I choose to in the vortex of theological rhetoric in an effort to study for the sake of showing “thyself approved”. But, for what?

I’d much rather, not.

I am by no means “perfect”. I am by all means “participating”. My intention and my institution is to be good. I do far more good than I do the contrary. I help far more than I hurt. I give way more than I take. I love far deeper than I loathe. I consider quicker than I criticize. And as it relates to healing- which has been my personal albatross for a great period of time in life- I have finally arrived at this philosophy: It is imperative that I forget more than I remember.

I trust that God has all the stuff that I spent so many years trying to figure out, figured out. I believed- for most of those years- that to be my job, call, purpose, mission: to know what God intends. And I spent so much energy and time and all I possessed in an effort to get that clarity, that closure, that comfort.

And when I didn’t, I felt- especially because I listened to everyone else but me- guilty and ashamed by the disappointment of not getting the understanding or specific clarity that satisfied my questions. That made life extremely difficult. Feeling like I was a failure because I was confused. Because I didn’t get absolute and defined understanding.

Meanwhile, God and I have this relationship that has allowed me to see another side of things. But I felt guilty about it. Because that relationship didn’t fit me into the spaces of what I was told my purpose to be. The relationship that I have with God doesn’t have me in church or “ministry” like I was always told I should be. The relationship that I have with God doesn’t have me pressured to live restricted and removed like the guilt and shame of being a “sinner” had me feeling I should be. The relationship that I have with God doesn’t suffer me the frustration and fear that I once encapsulated while attempting to register how I feel about so many things. I have a relationship with God. No one else gets to or has to answer for me. I am confident that I can stand by my choices and decisions regarding the relationship that I have with God. I have no doubts there.

I’m not arguing about God.

I’ll argue about humans though. I will definitely argue about human behavior and human words and human feelings. There are some human problems and issues that exist that I believe I can help with. I believe we all can help one another. But what I’ve seen and experienced, far too often, is that religion and the establishments of religion- propagating under the guise of God’s word- perpetually prevent the people from problem solving. Because of power and control. Because of guilt and shame. Because of greed and jealousy. Because of envy and hatred. Because of system and tradition and race and money.

Because “that’s the way it’s been”.

We can’t afford to keep doing things the way they’ve been done. We have to change. We need to change.

I haven’t been a more productive part of that change because I was afraid to tell y’all that I don’t agree with y’all about God. (That’s a blanket statement). More specifically, I didn’t want to face the disappointment and disdain that I’ve seen and experienced when one doesn’t subscribe to the fold. I’ve lost relationships, friendships, and acquaintanceships because I don’t believe what some of my people feel that I should believe. I’ve experienced the alienation and abandonment that comes with not cooperating with a certain community. I’ve observed this in my own village most of my life.

No matter how “good” of a person I could have been. When I started voicing my concerns and questions I was seen as anything but good. It was like I’d done or said something absolutely monstrous. I was treated as such. That triggered a trauma response and so I shut down more of myself in order to stay in some fashion of committee with people.

—-

Story time:

I call most soul food dinners “plantation plates”. I call it that because most of the traditional soul food that I am accustomed to and know about is writhed with a history that developed around a specific time period. When I hear stories of the Black Sunday dinner I almost always envision scenes from a time period that I don’t want to recall. But I know the history. I know that “soul food”, or the idea of, comes from the southern plantation dinner practices where enslaved black people were given limited rations of food from the white slave masters and they made due. They were given the scraps and scrapings but they prepared masterpieces! Some of our staple dishes come off of those menus: barbecued ribs, catfish, chitterlings, cornbread, and more.

Over time, even as we got free from that version of slavery, we’ve held onto that menu. Truth being told, 3 of my favorite foods are soul foods: Macaroni, Dressing, and Candied Yams. I’d eat them everyday without any problem. I like them just that much.

But I know they are not healthy choices. Macaroni is filled with butter and cheese, sodium, and fat. Dressing is high in calories, fat, sodium, and refined carbohydrates. Candied yams have entirely too much sugar. Yet I love them.

As a culture we love the plantation plate. Most of our homes serve these very dishes at least one day of the week. And every holiday consists of a spread that showcases the full farm of this traditional treachery.

Even as we suffer from diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, glaucoma, gout, cancer, stroke, heart attacks, death and more, disproportionately to other groups.

I often joke with “chitlin” eaters, “… You don’t have to eat that. We are free!” but to no remedy. They don’t want to hear that. They don’t care. They want what they want. Even if dit is ACTUALLY killing them.

But I know why. I believe that black folks know how unhealthy most of what we consume (as it relates to traditional soul food) is. That’s not why they eat it, or why it’s difficult to give up.

It’s hard to give up because these dishes and recipes were prepared for us by someone we love. Momma macaroni. Granny dressing. Aunty potato salad. Uncle ribs. Daddy pork chops. Great-Granny banana pudding. Big Momma neck bones and rice. And so on.

Giving up these dishes that are imprinted on our lives would mean disappointing and dismissing these people. Because Granny ain’t letting you leave her house without eating. Nor is Momma. Good luck walking out of most of our family’s homes and not breaking bread. Because these dishes mean something to us. To the individual that prepared them. To the history that passed them down. To the legacy that is shared through them.

These meals mean more to us than sustenance. They represent fellowship and community. They represent love and care. They represent concern and togetherness. They represent talent and time. They represent support and structure. They represent consistency and comfort. They represent some idea of success and celebration.

And that’s why it’s hard to give them up. Because of what they represent. What they mean to everyone. The who we attach them to. The where we attach them to. The when we attach them to. There are soul food dishes that mark specific occasion. These meals literally mean something.

We’re connected to them. We are not trying to let them go.

—-

It’s the same with religion. The God that most of us serve was introduced to us with those meals and by those very important people. And just like those meals, we’ve passed down the sentimental attachment our traditions have served us.

And we’re attached.

Any attempt to disengage us from the hold that religion has on us is deemed an attack.

Even if/when we know that the intention is not to attack, we interpret it as such.

Because telling any of us that the God or the Jesus that we’ve known for so long is not who or what we have believed does not sound like that.

It sounds like you’re telling us that Grandma lied to us. Or momma lied to us. Or the church lies to us. And we care about those people. They love us. They wouldn’t lie to us.

Grandma’s midnight prayers to Jesus- we are told- saved our lives. Momma’s faith- in the God she knew- has kept us all this way. Our family has been in that church- the one preaching this very God- for 50 years. You’re not going to tell us that we’ve been doing any of this wrong. You’re not going to tell us that we’ve spent all this time and energy and thought into something that is not what we believed and had faith in it to be. You’re not going to tell us that we’ve come all this way to find out that this was the wrong way.

Nope.

And because of the sentimental and generationally traditional habits of doing things the way we know, letting go is not going to be easy. For many it’s not even going to be possible.

It’s going to be more than an argument.

Faith too strong.

Spirit too stubborn.

Mind too made up.

I absolutely understand that.

Even if I can’t explain it as clearly as I might want to. Even if I don’t agree with it. I do understand it.

But I’m not finna argue ‘bout God.

No mo.

Because we need to be DOING the “Lord’s” work.

With that, well, I WILL NOT be arguing about God. Never again.

Because…

While I’m arguing about God, some work is not getting done. And there is too much work to do. Work that I believe is in OUR hands to take care of. Because God- who controls the entire fvcking universe- has the power to change our “circumstances” at the thought of changing it if that was what God wanted to do! If God had other intentions it would not take time to be. This is God we are talking about!

Breathe, See. Breathe.

I’m not arguing about God anymore. It’s not a win. Ever. It’s a distraction. It’s a detour. It’s a business. It works too freaking well with the scheme to keep us fighting and fussing about something that we have no reason to fight and fuss about.

Because while we’re going at it about God, the world that God created is suffering. And after all this time I’m going to say that maybe “waiting on God” is not the answer to each and every problem.

Maybe

This

Is

On

Us.

The “US” that God wants to work TOGETHER to figure all of this out.

Instead of debating, dissing, demonizing, distracting, deflecting, or even deciding.

Too many are spending an entire lifetime DECIDING.

Because they’ve made up their mind what God’s people look or sound or act like.

And honesty, God can’t use you like that.

And I’m not going to argue about it.

-see

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Today’s -see 2/17/2023

What are YOU worth?

What is worth it FOR YOU?

What is IT worth TO YOU?

Ask yourself these questions.

Answer these questions.

Then consider this:

“They” might not be sure what to pay YOU because you’re not sure what to charge THEM.

You have a value. You have a price.

And YOU get to determine that number.

Your experience, your energy, your example, and your expertise may justify that number. But your number doesn’t have to consider any of those factors if what you say you are worth is what you decide you are worth! What you want in return and exchange for your time, talent, attention, advice, support, presence, name, skill, product, service, tutelage, opinion, commentary and whatever else is UP TO YOU! YOU are YOUR determining factor. You are who decide how and when and where everyone gets to deal with you.

You have to believe that about yourself. You have to want that for yourself.

Because, if they want YOU, they’re going to pay YOUR price! Whatever your price is. If they can’t pay it now, they’ll save up to get it. Because it’s YOU!

If they want YOU, they’ll pay for YOU!

Especially when you’re the absolute best at being YOU. Because no one else can do or BE that. Only YOU!

And whatever YOU decide that is worth…

You can charge!

And the more than likely result:

YOU WILL GET IT!

And you won’t have to discount yourself or bargain your worth or coupon your character or ration your value or sell yourself short to win.

There is a market FOR YOU!!! A thriving market. An untapped, UNCAPPED market.

With an audience and supporters and CUSTOMERS with connections and contacts and RESOURCES…

Just FOR YOU!

Time to get it.

-see

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Thought for the Moment- 1/27/22

You are going to mess up. You are going to absolutely error in the living of your life. You are going to fall and fail and then find it almost impossible to recover from certain mistakes. You are going to destroy some opportunities, some relationships, and some people. That’s just the truth. You are going to lose. You are going to lose money, time, things, people, moments, sleep. You are going to suffer. You are going to struggle. You are going to find it remarkably difficult to maintain at times. You are going to hurt. You are going to lose faith. You are going to lose hope. You are going to lose more than that. You are going to lose your vision. You are going to lose your dream. You are going to lose your potential. You are going to find it a challenge to smile. You are going to anger. You are going to be miserable. You are going to be depressed. You are going to be sick.

But if you are who I believe YOU ARE, YOU ARE GOING TO BE OKAY!

Because, here’s the thing, YOU ARE GOING!

You are not dead. You still have a chance. You still have an opportunity. You still have a reason. YOU-STILL-HAVE!

You are going to reset. You are going to recover. You are going to try again. You are going to keep trying.

Life is not all love and likable moments. Life ain’t fair. Life ain’t equal. Life ain’t consistent. Life ain’t just.

Life is chaotic. Life is erratic. Life is spontaneous. Life is a fight. Life is a struggle. Life is a competition. Life is a battle.

And life is delicate. Life is fragile. Life is precious.

If you’re reading this, life is available. Because you’re living. And that’s the first and most important part of every story, the part that lives…

Life requires YOUR participation! You have to LIVE IT. And living includes the gamut of these things. Living is down and up, out and in, poor and rich, bad and good, losing and winning, failure and success, challenge and change. Life is the overcoming, and the redemption, and the vindication, that you get to experience. Because YOU CHOOSE TO NOT GIVE UP! Because you choose to LIVE!!!

And if you do…

YOU ARE GOING to win. YOU ARE GOING to survive. YOU ARE GOING to become. YOU ARE GOING to succeed. YOU ARE GOING to thrive. YOU ARE GOING to recover! YOU ARE GOING to benefit. YOU ARE GOING to want it, get it, do it, have it, keep it, share it, and be able to talk about it!

That’s what it’s about- living- the experience. Your life is about YOU living it.

Not just till the end, but to the fullest.

-see

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Thought for the Moment. 1/26/22

Our children are lost because we give them instruction without direction, we give them rules instead of respect, we offer them fear instead of freedom, we example rebellion instead of righteousness.

Our children are suffering because we are suffering. Because we are an unhealed and unhappy collection of programmed and systematic responses to hate and evil.

Our children don’t experience love because we lack an ability to let go. We don’t love, we control. We don’t love, we contort. We don’t love, we command. We don’t love, we compete. We don’t love, we compare. We don’t love, we confuse. We don’t love, we complain.

Our children do not have a chance because we won’t surrender our hope of having one. Because we won’t step aside. Because we refuse to stand down when the time requires that. We’d rather have vindication instead of vision. We want redemption instead of renewal. We’d settle for profit instead of progress.

Our children know this.

Our children know that we’re hurt. Our children know that we’re angry. Our children know that we’re jealous of them, of their youth, of their chance. Our children know that we are their biggest albatross. Our children know that we are their most ferocious foe.

We are the enemy. Of our own children!

We are losing our children to inspirations and influences that are the available that we are not. Because they offer access to ideas and impulses that we act like we don’t possess. Because we’d rather be secretive and selfish about our faults. We won’t mention our real mistakes. We hide our issues. We try to protect our identities from the very people that really know us.

Our children know us!

And they’ve exhibited a level of grace and understanding that could only be the power of God. That they’ve chosen not to overcome us, for the respect and regard of who and what we mean to them, is a love that we’ve tried hard to deny.

Because we fail them. We fail them because we don’t love them. We don’t love them because we don’t love ourselves. We don’t love ourselves because we have no idea of who we are.

We don’t know who we are because…

-see

©️2023 Cornelious “See” Flowers All Rights Reserved

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Today’s -see 1/20/23

Your best moments won’t be captured by any camera. You won’t have time to take a picture because you’ll be taking that chance.

Your life is supposed to be lived. In real time, at every NOW moment, present and aware.

The ”good ole days” that we speak of now are the rough and tough times we had back when. Back when there was a curious courage to confront and conquer consciousness. Those moments produced the adrenaline and action that affirmed our attitudes toward imaginative and creative expression.

We’ve been seduced into believing that pain-free is the goal. And it’s not. Convenience is calamitous. The “struggle” is not just real, it is REQUIRED!

The people that you most admire are jealous of who you are. They’re envious of your power. They wish they were you. They want what you have.

You’re the only one that doesn’t appreciate who you are! And there are a lot of people and paranormal energies that rely on that very thing. You being unaware of just how important you are.

You’re allowing your address to determine your destination.
You’re allowing your bank account to determine your value.
You’re allowing your mistakes to determine your movements.
You’re allowing your current state of mind to determine your outlook.
You’re allowing your circumstances to determine your optimism.
You’re allowing your issues to determine your attitude.
You’re allowing your fears to determine your faith.
You’re allowing your past to determine your future.
You’re allowing your silence to determine your success.

While the truth is that most of what is happening to you, for you, in you, by you, around you… is because YOU ALLOW it!

And you’re comparing the life you know to a life (or lives) you know nothing about.

These people that you seek to verify or validate you are going through the VERY SAME things as you! The role models and authority figures and leaders and celebrities and “influencers” that you imagine or perceive to be in such a better place than you, are not. Their situation is just as dire.

Dust in an apartment ain’t no different than dust in a mansion.
(and one is easier to clean).

Social media is becoming (and has been) a dangerous place for our minds. Because these algorithms present a very false narrative of what really is. The compartmentalization of expressive output via the subjugation of categorical formula is terribly flawed. There should be no “like”, comment, or share feature on these images. Those features don’t “allow for” as much as they ”impress upon”. These apps aren’t creating as much opportunity as they are controlling.

We are going to, have to, must, change that.

First, you must change YOU. That’s most, and much more, important.

The monetary capitalization of the human experience has rendered us transactional to an extent far beyond what can allow anything equal. That is why racism, sexism, classism, and many other “ism’s” exist.

That’s another scripture, for a different sermon.

You’re the message today. And you’ll be the message tomorrow, and going forth. Actually, you’ve been the message. You were the message ever since there was a you.

You’re what’s important here. This is about you. Because without you, none of it matters!

When you REALIZE that! Maaaannn.

When you realize that YOU MATTER. When you realize that you are necessary. When you realize that you’re valuable. When you realize that you are the currency. When you realize that you are the commodity.

And that you’re not supposed to be “controlled”. You’re supposed to be connected.

To the source;
To the light;
To the people;
To the land;
To the water;
To the heart;
To the natural;
To the community;
To the children;
To more…
To the present

Always to the present. Aware.

-see
@seethepoet

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©️2023 Cornelious “See” Flowers

What are you waiting to DO?

You can want for it to happen.

You can wish for it to happen.

You can wait for it to happen.

Or you can make it happen.

And that, quite simply, is the difference between those who do, and those who don’t. That is quite often, most of the time, what really determines whether someone or some thing is a failure or a success.

Those that did it, or are doing it… DID IT. Or are DOING IT!

Those that “have it”, that’s how they got it: They did it. They didn’t wait. They didn’t ask for permission. They didn’t count all of the reasons that it might not work. They didn’t consider how unqualified or unconventional they are, relative to how things are “supposed” to be, or go. They don’t worry about all of the details.

They decide. Then they DO.

And they did it. They did what it took. They showed up. They made the choice. They made the sacrifice. They made the change. They had the discipline. They meant what they said.

They did what they said.

You’ve been thinking too much. Way too much planning and strategizing. Way too much consideration towards what may or may not happen.

Too much worry.

Too much concern.

Too much thinking.

Too much talking.

Too much self-doubt.

Too much procrastination.

Too much hesitation.

Not enough “JUST DO THE SHIT”.

Not enough recognition of the fact that you only get one life in this realm. You’ve been told the way things are “supposed” to go. You’ve been shown that this is the way that things have “always” been. You’ve accepted the status quo’s, the stereotypes, and the situations.

What if that’s just what they, whoeverthefvck “they” is, wants you to believe?

While “they” experiment, explore, and express themselves according to the truly “right” way to do this… by JUST DOING IT!

Stop waiting for someone to “give” you a chance.

Take your chance!

Stop hoping that someone gives you an opportunity.

Create your opportunity.

Stop accepting that it’s just not your turn.

Know that it’s YOUR turn…

To build that brand. To buy that house. To have that career. To visit that place. To live in that country. To own that land. To write that book. To open that restaurant. To create that market. To experience that peace. To know your identity. To repair those traumas. To connect with those people. To be that parent. To have those relationships. To make that much money. To be that person. To live that life. To experience that joy. To embrace that love. To know what it is to be healed, whole, and free. To be SAFE, SECURE, and SIGNIFICANT. To have that fun. To earn that living. To be that consistent. To be that dependable. To be that connected. To be the owner. To be the leader. To be the example.

To do it!

Listen up…

There are a lot of ways to do it. Whatever it is. But the ONLY way that it’ll ever get done is if someone does it.

You should be that somebody.

You should start right now.

What are you going to DO?

-see

Thought for the Moment 11/28/22

It’s your turn, right now.

It’s not their time.

That’s what’s stopping you. That’s why you seem to be stagnate and in the same spot. That’s why it feels like you’re not growing, not moving, not going anywhere. Not getting what you, and the work you’ve done thus far, should.

Because you’re holding on to some people, and places, that can’t go with you. Not now. They’re not ready for the blessing, the opportunity, the promotion, the progress, the success, the greatness, that is ready for you, right now.

But you want them there. And you’re sacrificing your opportunity and chance to try to get them to where YOU believe they can, should, or deserve, to be. So you pull and push where you shouldn’t have to. You promote and promise where you shouldn’t need to. You play or pause out of sync with the rhythm and frequency that is naturally vibrating for you, in order to attempt to get them in tune, in step, aligned, and in accord with what is jamming for you.

So nothing is happening.

You may or may not believe in God. You may believe in happenstance and evolution. So you may not see this next idea the way I’m going to put it, but I hope you can rationalize within whatever your belief system is, in order to process this next point…

You’re up next for a blessing. An AMAZING opportunity and chance is waiting to blow your absolute mind! There is a light, so big, ready to shine on you and your story. There are resources and networks and possibilities specifically assigned to bring true the BIGGEST of your dreams, wishes, plans, goals, and aspirations.

God has a plan FOR YOU.

But you’ve locked elbows, fingers, and legs with some folks that God has not prepared yet. You’re holding on to some folks that God can’t use right now. You’re trying to bring with you some folks that God needs to stay where they are. They still have to go through some things that God has already gotten you through.

You believe they deserve better. You think they should be further along. You want them to experience a different level.

That’s not where they are. There are some things that you don’t know. There’s some exposure that you can’t afford. There’s some risk and issues that you’re not prepared to deal with. Not with the responsibility that is coming your way. Not with the lives you’re about to be in charge of inspiring, empowering, and exampling. Not with the time you’re going to have to invest into this next season.

That light that God has designed for you is BIG, and BRIGHT. It’s remarkable. It is FOR YOU. It just requires that YOU be set apart. You’re going to have to go this part alone. Those people that you’re holding on to, aren’t equipped for this journey. This is YOUR moment! It’s YOUR time.

You’re not letting go. God can’t use you like that. God needs you to know when to let go.

There are some people in the new room that are expecting ONLY YOU. They have an assignment to do something special and specific for ONLY YOU. They have a spot available, a seat ready, a job, a role, a budget, a stage, waiting for YOU.

But they can’t see you right now. Your space is crowded. You’re bringing baggage when the plan was for you to come empty. So that God can show you how God blesses.

You’re in YOUR way!

That dream. That idea. That feeling. That prophetic word. That potential. That story. That imagination. That plan… ALL of it can come to BE. You just have to be ready and willing, to do what it takes.

The discipline.

The determination.

The desire.

The dedication.

The decision.

This is on YOU. This is your choice. This is YOUR life.

YOU have to DO this.

DO IT.

-see

SEE the Poet

Thought for the Moment 11/25/22

You could have quit. You could have left. You could have argued your point, some more. You could have reacted differently. You could have been more understanding. More forgiving. More blind. More stupid. More in denial.

You could have fought “fire” with “fire”.

You could have been the same disrespectful. You could have done the same hurt. Told the same lies. Played the same games. Embarrassed them the same way. Made them look the same kind of fool. And worse.

But you didn’t do any of that.

You just stayed until you were READY to go.

You stayed until you had all the information your heart needed to be all the way broken. Irreparable for them. You stayed until your mind was all the way made up. Inaccessible to their manipulation. You stayed until your eyes saw fully and clear a truth that you have long been in denial about. Impossible to deny.

You stayed until all of the tears were cried. All the tears of forgiveness and pity and compassion and stupidity. All the tears of a particular hurt, a specific pain, a distinct timeline of events. A personal and private, maybe even secret, history of words and ways that you’ve had to suffer through.

With your chin up. Your head high. Your game face on. Your pride and potential being trampled and tried beyond abuse. Your name being distorted and dirtied against your dignity.

While simultaneously being the butt of the jokes. Being the words under the whispers. Being the destination of the pointed fingers.

You’ve been that.

And you still tried. Tried to reduce yourself to whatever amount of flexible you hoped would be enough for them to see that you’d do whatever. See that you’ve done whatever. See that you’ve let the unimaginable go. That you’ve stayed through the most horrible and hurtful of offenses. See that you’ve still cared. Stayed while being uncared for. Stayed while being uncared about. Stayed while being left, and ignored, and unconsidered, and dismissed, and denied.

You stayed the whole time. Present and aware. Trying to fix a broken that you had nothing to do with. Attempting to cover a hole much bigger than you were ever capable of. Trying to change a long made up mind.

Because you had hope. And of course love. And fear. Your fear was that deep inside they were feeling a pain that only you recognized. A pain that you had identified, and that your love, your trust, your understanding, your support, your dedication, your determination, and of course, your denial, could fix.

And you tried.

Until you couldn’t try anymore.

Until you couldn’t do anymore.

Until you couldn’t stay any longer.

You didn’t quit. You’re not wrong. This is not on you. There is no blame.

It’s okay to leave.

Surprise, you’re crying again.

But, it’s good to cry these tears. Tears of joy. That all of that didn’t break you. That all of that didn’t destroy you. That all of that didn’t end you. It’s okay to cry these tears. These are tears of profound revelation and respect, for yourself. It’s okay to cry now. Now that you know better. These are tears that will wash away the spit on your face.

Let these tears wash away the caked up disrespect and disregard. Let them dilute the concentration of hate and hurt that had long been aimed and assaulted upon you. Let these tears clear the blockage(s) that you had to create to protect yourself, to shield you from being so vulnerable. Over time you developed a hardened layer of emotion that allowed you to put up with more, for far less reasons or benefits than you did before.

Cry these tears.

These are tears of freedom.

These tears are going to heal you.

You used to think that because you were crying you were still in love. Or that you still cared. Or that you still wanted to be there.

That’s not what these tears mean.

These tears mean that you are still human. You still have feelings. There is still room to grow. And be better. And that you have the capacity to try, again.

Someone else.

Somewhere else.

Something else.

After you take care of you.

It’s time to take care of you.

-see

@seethepoet

Thought for the Moment 11/26/22

There is a difference between “letting them go” and “letting go of them”.

Some people, and challenges, obstacles, situations, and of the like, are in your life consistently and constantly because you keep them there. They’ve been trying to leave you. They’ve steadily shown you that you are not a priority, or consideration, or primary concern.

But you feel differently.

You have a different desire. And so you’ve maintained the mediocrity. You’ve kept the relationship and routine going. You’ve chosen to put up with being put last. Or put down. Or put away.

You’ve put everything but you where you’re supposed to be.

Letting them go is not always enough! You have to let go of them. Let go of the idea that you have of who they should, or could, or would be, if not for (insert whatever excuse and reason you might contrive to justify your perpetual support of the foolishness). You have to admit the obvious. Stop pretending that “what it is” is not what it is. Let go of the desire or demand for respect, responsibility, reciprocity. Let go of the want for redemption. Let go of the anticipated idea of regret that you might suffer once it ends. Stop doing that to yourself!

Let go of them. Release the hold that you have on that idea of what might happen if it ends now. Let go of the feeling that you’re owed the realization and materialization of their potential. If they turn out to be who you always knew they could be, with someone else, somewhere else, be okay with that. They were never going to be that person with you. Or for you. Even if they ultimately become that person BECAUSE of you.

Just let go.

Your holding on to something or someone for the sake of pride or guilt or fear or ego or unrequited love or image or perception or expectation or trauma or insecurity or tradition or comfort… is unhealthy. It is not stable. It rarely, if ever, matures into anything other than mess.

Especially when they would have been gone if it was up to them.

But you’ve kept fighting for it, for them.

Fighting every battle but the one most important.

The one for you.

It’s time to fight for you.

-see

@seethepoet