buy-polar…  [POEM]

i get to ask you questions
and i demand answers,
i deserve truth
because i love myself
now that i’ve learned to
forget that i yearn you
no hurt is worth me losing faith
the sun brings forth life
but it burns too
and i’d rather live
so i’m giving myself a right to
with or without you,
depending on how i feel
based on how you comport
even more so on what you conceal
so i’ll let you heal
fall apart without me
blame me if you need to
it doesn’t matter what i say
as long as you believe you
perception becomes reality
when you allow it to seem to.

-see

©2017 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

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grieving process…  [POEM]

… this morning
i am mourning
moaning out your name
for a change
in sighs that sound the same

and i can tell it’s showing
like everything now
this hour says keep going
i just don’t know how
an insubordinate remembrance
keeps me toward the down
and this morning
it is so loud

like an overwhelming
telling me to wake
referring me to face my feelings
against my better sake
for the luxury of just in case
and i am still hurting
enjoying the same place

haven’t moved since Monday
more than that many years ago
but somehow stayed it present,
prolific mastery of my low
and it isn’t all your fault
but i need for you to know

that i awoke this morning
in mourning
moaning out your name.

-see

©2017 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Love is (what you make it)… [POEM]

love is too often
unrequited
and so i recite it…

“i will not love by myself”

not you,
not anybody else
not for any reason
so either reciprocate
or remove yourself

love is too damn ambiguous,
so be more specific

not just “You’re the only one…”
but You
-Insert full name here-
ARE the ONLY one
that
i
Am
Committed
Dedicated
and Faithful to

The only one that
i share my body with
and only one i romance
the only one i give that energy to
say you are where i belong,
you are the only one that can

life is so random
i want change and consistent
to go in tandem
and it be just us
from here on out
partners in perpetuity,
what i’m talking about

is different
by difference
not just the way
but what we say,
listen

happiness is relative
and subject to growth
we are not what we did
we are what we do the most

Can we host fidelity?

and be honest
i need your presence at all times,
i can do without a promise

words are just words
even when you mean them
you have to be who you say you are,
so i can believe them

and i will more than express,
i will example
there is no time to waste,
the requirements are ample

feelings are abundant
and memories always make sense
but i have made a choice
and my soul is convinced

WE get to be together
because we decide and do the work
and all that happens then
is perfection as a perk.

-see

©2017 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Reach for Me… [POEM]

I want you to reach for me
like you reach for your phone,
first thing in the morning

and give me that kind of attention

hold me for that long
focus on me that way

and because what you see
is that interesting,
talk about me all day

I want you
to keep checking on me,
especially
when you have something else to do
or
when there are
not many more important things
that you could engage upon,
make me the priority for you

like,
comment,
and share
things about me
even save some things
so that you don’t forget

let what you see
in me
influence your thoughts
feelings
and actions,
then defend me
and my argument

get caught up in me
as time just passes by
and pretend
that I am not a distraction
when someone asks you why

look for me
like I’m missing
when you know I’m somewhere near
protect me
with precaution and measure
have rules regarding me
ever so clear

I want you
to be so caught up in me
that you don’t notice
anything else
silent smiles and giggles,
like you’re in a world
all by yourself

I want you
to reach for me
give me
that kind of safe
can I be the world you get lost in?
give you that kind of place

I don’t want us to get disconnected
only Godly distractions
should there be
I refuse
to allow unnecessary dysfunction
I have decided
your attention
for me

so it is you,
that I will find captivating
to you,
that I will bring my all
for you,
shall I present my particular
in you,
I build my wall

I won’t ever be your confusion
but a constant source of light
all the anything you ever need,
if you choose to live this life.

-see

©2017 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

AnyWay…  [POEM]

I may not be able
to hug every pain away,
but I am going to
continue holding onto you,
anyway,
in any way
I’m here and not going anywhere,
not ever,
not any day
We are going to
be what we decide is best for us
and I promise
to give all
that I KNOW and can SHOW
no matter what it cost
or what any say

I am still
and here
to prove it,
match my effort,
and let’s watch the Universe use it
to pour out more
than we ever thought we needed
I enjoy this feeling
of you in my arms,
believe it
and I need it
you are needed
to see
that what we thought was possible
will be
not only in due time
but immediately
this is our season,
NOW is the reason,
definitely

there is no rush
we just have to communicate
and touch
life is going to happen
and not happen sometimes
and such
but my life is a run-on sentence
that only you will punctuate
and thus
my commitment is fortified
by discipline
you are a decision that I have made
it is not just what it is anymore,
it’s US
no maybe or meantimes,
it’s must
we began as an affirmation,
it stuck…

So I may not be able
to hug every pain away
but I will never let you go
and I will continue to hold you,

Anyway.

-see

©2017 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Know…  [POEM]

Let me kiss you
like i haven’t seen you all day,
All day,

and every other

And i will hold you
the same way,
Forever

i promise

i will give anything to you
and do everything for you
experience it all with you

for as long as we are together,
to be honest

fall asleep in our clothes,
comfortably
for some reason, your chaos
comforts me

i’m not wondering
so i won’t wander
deliberate decisions to deviate from distance
without ponder
i am under the act of being natural

this ain’t fiction,
just factual

something different than
what was unexpected
a heart alone should not be trusted
but this is all of my soul,
so i respect it

box marked fragile,
and i have checked it

so i touch you accordingly
gently with intention
the effort rewarding me

how does it feel to know?
beyond the amazing you ever imagined
how does it feel to go?

Can you stand the progression of better?
Are you fine with being amazed perpetually?
i will be yours
and you will be mine
All ways, Always, and Ever
i am certain of you, especially

reminding you with kisses
and consistency
hope that you’re listening.

-see

©2016 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

love is… [POEM]

love is
watching her grow

after

being watered
and attended to
maintained
and mended too

she was due

love is

the time it took, the patience
a calendar of seasons,
the waiting

guarding her best interest
from near and afar
the whole time
aligning almanacs and stars

she was planted before me
i, just handed the responsibility…

love is
how you make time
seem moot
getting her to barefoot,
from boots

all the socks she’s worn in-between
some for comfort
some weren’t clean
some had holes
some were never seen

love is
me wanting to see her toes
and being fine with tasting them
the wine of her grapes organically grown
no sense in wasting them

never done that before

love is
weathering the storm
an appreciation of the forecast,
no whether it’s warm
but warning her to prepare
being not vulnerable to go it alone,
because i will be there

Still

for even spring has its share of cold
and the summer won’t always present clear
there will always be an opportune precipitous cloud,
rain should produce hope, not fear

and then there is the winter
after the greatest fall ever,
we enter

love is

the explanation
talking about everything along the way,
the destination

every seed produces fruit
love is knowing how to eat it,
straight from the ground,
or as juice
the process depends on you

love is
serving her
in balance
and maintaining my effort
in challenge

even after time,

Love is so patient,

Love is ever so kind

and she is love.

love is mine.

-see

©2016 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

For Keeps…  [POEM]

Remind me that you love me, 
and how much you love me, 

and that you’re so in love with me…
And show that i’m your only one…

And that there is no one else…

that there is 

something different about us

And that it helps…

And that you 

do not want or wish 

to be without me…

Keep mentioning 

how good you feel 

about me, 

and with me

and how special I am 

to you, 

and for you…
And say that you mean these things…
Still

And will…
Keep touching me

Keep kissing me
Keep feeding me
Keep needing me
Keep teaching me
Keep surprising me

Keep calling

Keep sending me messages 

Keep bugging me

Keep coming over

Keep wanting to be here

Keep talking to me

Keep staying near

Keep holding my hands

Keep giving me that look…
that challenges 

that balances

that is alkaline 

and true
That says, “i know”

that goes without saying 

that is why i believe in you
Keep sharing your story, 

Keep listening to mine

Keep going all the way with me

and we’ll be just fine.

-see

©2016 Cornelious “See” Flowers

@seethepoet

Synonymous…   [POEM]

*Randumb Thought*

I’m just tired

of talking,
having to say it,
having to imagine it,
having to believe and hope,
for it…

I just want to have it.
I want to be it,
and receive it,
know it,
be able to trust it,
to be part of it.

I want it to be known,
unapologetically
Mine,
unquestionably

Safe. Secure. Significant.

I want to be proud of it,
and likewise
I want it to be proud of me…

Let’s call it peace.
Or happiness.
Or right.
Or well.
Or love.
Or wealth.
Or good.

Or, Her.

-see

©2016 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Thought for the Moment {6/13}

Important, to Choose…

If you want it to be IMPORTANT, then that’s what it is.
If you make it IMPORTANT, then that’s what it will be.

You VALUING it is ENOUGH for you to DEMAND that what YOU DEEM IMPORTANT is to be recognized/respected as such; ESPECIALLY concerning and CONSIDERING YOURSELF!

Just know that YOU have to reciprocate such a belief/idea just as much as YOU require/request it. YOU have to know that people have IMPORTANCES that they use to function/forward themselves, as well. Even as insignificant or minute as YOU may think their “things” are, they DESERVE the same consideration as YOU/YOURS.

No matter what.

There is a tightrope of managed discipline that is required to navigate through the pools of sensitive and sordid egos. People have feelings. DIFFERENT FEELINGS. And hurts and pasts and quirks and MASKS! And temperaments and temporary attitudes and moments of clarity and issues and REAL STUFF happening in their lives. And it’s all IMPORTANT to them. And YOU “not giving a care”, well that only makes YOU far less important to them and their “stuff”.

That’s IMPORTANT to know.

There is no blanket meter for rating the significance or standard by which an individual measures the gravity of life’s nuances. This life is FULL of enough. There is enough of EVERYTHING and the truth is that what you can/cannot deal with, there is someone else that will/won’t. And just as well, there is someone preparing or prepared to effectively and enthusiastically entertain YOUR issues. Someone thinks that what YOU think is really important is really important!

But that doesn’t mean right, nor does it make for perfect. It just means agreement, more times than not it means agreement for the sake of not arguing as opposed to for resolution. It’s not always black & white. It’s normally a mercurial assortment of spectral arrangements akin to the aftermath of a great painters master work. It looks good, but there was quite a mess made!

The real challenge, and fun (if you ask me) is the made decision to take on the charge of being able to unapologetically pursue your own happiness -by virtue of celebrating the IMPORTANT that YOU are- while being able to learn the language and practices of the ones you know and love. Committing yourself to help someone, dedicating yourself to serve someone, intentionally staying by the side of someone that your gut tells you is worth being stuck by. Because it all boils down to Safety, Security, and Significance. And those three things comprise the base materials for every persons idea of IMPORTANT. The caveat is knowing how perspective influences the meaning of words to each individual’s personal experience. We may see the same thing, just not the same way. So what ‘safety’ is for one may not be ‘safety’ for someone else. And the truth is that we all get to define ourselves. We get to associate and attach as we see fit. That gives us value, it gives us worth, it makes us IMPORTANT!!!

And it is a choice…

You get to want what you want. But you have to pay for it. And it’s probably going to cost you. Can you afford it? Can you spend the time/energy/emotion/attention or money that is required to obtain what you desire? Do you understand that you will be billed by the second, in the moment, payment due upon receipt of the thought? Do you have the resources? Can you maintain the payments? Can you maintain a positive attitude in the presence of what may be dubious circumstances or situations that present themselves almost seemingly to deter/detour/distract you from being consistent? Can you appreciate that just like you are “dealing with stuff” so is EVERYONE else?

And what’s most IMPORTANT is what is MOST important…

Whatever you decide that to be!

-see