Tag Archives: Encouragement

For the “YOU” out there…

I’m going to save you some time, stress, energy, and disappointment:

NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, OR WHAT YOU SAY, OR WHO YOU ARE, OR WHAT YOU GIVE, OR WHAT YOU SUFFER, OR WHAT YOU SACRIFICE, OR WHAT YOU SPEND, OR HOW YOU ARE… there will be some people, especially in your corner, on your side… that won’t ever be there for you.

They are not going to make your road easy. They will not help. They are not going to support. They will present your most significant obstacles and challenges. They are going to give you the most consistent resistance. They will fight you the most, and the hardest. They are going to be your most vocal detractors and antagonists. They are never going to agree with you. They will never defend you. They will never believe you. They will never trust you.

They will never root for you. They will not comfort you. They will not be anything outside of whatever their selfishness or their ignorance allows them to be for you.

And it is okay.


They are MEANT to be that to you.

Because, eventually, they’ll be the reason, the motivation, the force, that you use to get up and do what you should have been doing FOR YOU, for YOU!

You’re not going to get up and move as a retaliatory action in response to who they have been to you. Nope!

You’re going to get up and move, out of RESPECT to YOURSELF. Because they are going to help you realize that YOU are the only one that YOU CAN COUNT ON! They are going to doubt/deter/disrespect/disregard/disappoint/demean/diss and dismiss you right into the distance! You’re going to finally realize that you can’t please everyone. Some people won’t EVER get you. They will never understand you. They will never appreciate you. They will never respect you. They will never be FOR YOU.

And they are going to FORCE you to become all that YOU WANTED them to be to you, TO YOURSELF!

You’re expecting that one day they’ll see that you were the good person, the bigger person, the genuine person.

They won’t ever see that.

Especially since/if the person that they wanted you to be was ONLY for them.

Because it was okay- your being a good person- when it was FOR THEM, or TO THEM. When they benefited or succeeded from you being you. But when you decided to not be hurt and harmed and disrespected and misused or mistreated or cheated or undervalued, under appreciated, under estimated… or just UNDER THEM… well, now you’re a problem. That’s when you became the problem.

So, I’m going to save you some time, and some hurt, some disappointment, and a whole lot more…

I’m going to tell you what someone should have told me a long time ago. What I should have told myself a long time ago…

You are you for YOU.

Repeat it:


You need to do whatever needs to be done in order to be successful at being YOU, for YOU!

Because your BEST YOU won’t be enough for people like that. Not if your best you doesn’t SERVE their interests.

If your BEST YOU ain’t in their bed, their life, in their group, in their circle, in their benefit, or in their best interests…

If you ain’t your WONDERFUL self for them. Attached to them. Wonderful for them. Wonderful to them. Or here’s the real kicker: If they can’t get credit for your wonderfulness!!!!…

Then they are not going to consider you “wonderful” at all.

In fact, they’ll be the ones spreading all the wonderful lies and mistruths about you. They’ll be the ones bringing up that wonderful past of yours. They will be the ones finding every reason to “bring you down” to their level.


They-whomever “they” are- don’t deserve anymore energy.

From me, you, or our future.

Get up. Do you.

For you.

Because you deserve it.

… and because there are some rooms and some places, filled with some people just like YOU, waiting on YOU to get past any “them” in YOUR way.

But let’s give “them” their credit: They pushed and pissed you off enough to realize that YOU need to do better… for you.

That you need to take care OF YOU. That you need to handle YOUR BUSINESS, for YOU. That you need to be successful, consistent, considerate, at peace, whole, healed, happy…

Capital letters on the “H” word…


For you. With you. About you.

Now, get up and GO.


#seethepoet #truth #perspective #motivation #wearnwordz


Effective or Afraid, BE one.

Either be EFFECTIVE, or be AFRAID.

YOU cannot be both. You are going to have to choose. You are going to have to decide which one is necessary for YOU. Not the one that is most convenient, nor which is most comfortable. You’ll have to be the one that is necessary for YOU to grow forward.

It’s a matter of fear vs faith. What do you have more of? Are you more moved by what scares you or by what you believe in? Which one guides you? Which one informs you? Which one do you feed?

You have to choose, and you have to choose NOW. Because both sides want you. Yes, that’s right, FEAR and FAITH are both vying for your attention, and your actions. They are both available to be your driving factor or your dysfunction, your motivation or your mediocre, your reason or your excuse.

What’s it going to be? What will you use to propel, push, or even pull you up, and position YOU in the space that will give you the best opportunity to do what you need to?

Will it be your FAITH or will it be your FEAR?

Will you be EFFECTIVE, or are you just going to be AFRAID?



You might not need therapy.

You might not need therapy.

You might just need an opportunity to tell your truth/story. And have that truth/story validated. Especially (if possible) by the people that are part of your truth/story. The part that you’ve been holding in. The part that you’ve been fighting. The part that you’ve been prisoner to. The part you haven’t moved on from.

You might just need the right information. The information that will assist you in processing your truth/story. The information that will allow you to acknowledge and recognize what your truth/story is and how it has been, is, and will continue to impact and affect you.

You’re not crazy. You’re not delusional. You’re not wrong.

Everything that happened to you, happened to you. You’ve tried to pretend it didn’t. You wished it didn’t. You’ve probably been told that it didn’t. Because someone needed you to not remember what really happened. Someone needed you to not speak up about what really happened.

You remember what happened.

And that’s what’s been hurting you. That’s what’s been hampering you. That’s what’s been hindering you.

That is what has held you hostage.

The fact that you know what happened, what was done to you, and what you’ve gone through as a result.

While those involved have gone about as if your being depressed, distant, or desperate is a dysfunction of your own doing. Like, you did all of it to yourself! Like you don’t have a reason to be mad, hurt, distrustful, paranoid, cynical, pessimistic, inconsistent, distant, or just not quite the you that you could/should/would be, had it not been for you know, what happened.

You might not need therapy. You might need the opportunity to face those people. The opportunity to give the negative words and energy that you’ve been holding onto, back to the people that negative energy and those words belong to. This ain’t really your baggage you’ve been carrying. It’s someone else’s. You’ve been carrying someone else’s weight. Someone else’s blame. Someone else mess. Someone else’s problem(s).

Because you’ve interpreted what happened to you as an indictment of your character, or an indication of your worth. And it’s not. A lot of the things that happened to you, had nothing to do with you. They would have happened to anyone that was right there at that moment. There is nothing you could have done to have made it any different.

That person that hurt you was going to hurt whomever. That person that lied to you was going to lie to whomever. That person that abused you was going to abuse whomever. The person that did whatever it was that did whatever it did to you was going to do that whatever to whomever.

It wasn’t because of you. It’s not because of you.

So, you might not need therapy. You might’ve just needed to know that. To know that you’re okay. And that the only way you can say you went through something is after you’ve gotten through it. You might just need to realize that.

And realize that you’ve been going through this chapter of this truth/story long enough. You have been fighting yourself, going back-and-forth with you, long enough. You’re tired, and exhausted, from trying to get an answer out of you that you will never have. You’re trying to get resolution and closure and an understanding that might not even make sense to you. Ever. Because what happened to you was not about you.

You made it that.

And because you’ve allowed that to be the narrative, you’ve been everything but who and what you want to be. Going every way but the way that you want to go…

You’ve been down.

Going down.

Torn down.

Sat down.

Put down.

Lying down.

Always down.

Down and out.

You might not need therapy;

You might just need to get up.

And tell your truth/story.

You deserve that.

The world deserves the you that does it.


©️2023 Cornelious “See” Flowers

SEE the Poet

I’m Nobody.

I’m nobody
don’t need anybody to make that clear
I’m the same different as everybody else,
just got a story somebody needs to hear

I ain’t no angel
no stranger to doin’ some devils work
but way more days believin’ in God
& doing somethin’ to make a better earth

I’m not perfect
done made a share of mistakes and more
heap of people know my darker side
what would I hide in the shadows for?

I ain’t always went the right way
I went the way I knew how and well
went about it the best way I knew to go,
some of those ways I shouldn’t tell

I don’t regret much
not much sense in looking back to see
just keep lookin’ forward to the lesson,
less the chance of less lookin’ back at me

I can’t say what I’m done fighting
and I’m not gonna wait to find out
jus keep doin what must be done to do it
get in the cage, engage, then climb out

I won’t pretend or posture
I know full well the work I need to do
a little support, encouragement, and help
that is all that I need from you


I’m nobody
don’t need anybody to make that clear
I’m the same different as everybody else,
just got a story somebody needs to hear.


©️2023 Cornelious “See” Flowers

SEE the Poet

Today’s -see 2/21/2023

The only place I’d ever been afraid of was “rock bottom”. Because I knew that in that place I’d have to deal with me. I’d have to face me. I’d have to confront and comfort, me. I’d have to be honest with me.

I was afraid to do that because I know the hurt that I have. I know the secrets. I know the pain. I know the problems. I know the anger. I know the frustration. I know the questions.

I know the guilt.

So I spent years upon years trying to avoid me. Trying to not feel. Trying to not acknowledge the me that desperately needed my attention.

Instead I’ve attempted to focus on everything and everyone else.

But the purpose and the plan and the potential of my life REQUIRES me to be whole. Not perfect, but whole. I can’t be just an expression. I have to be an example. I have to speak my truth because that’s the power that God gave me. I’m able to endure. And then explain. I have no problem telling my story. I have no issue speaking my mind. I’m okay with me. And that is the example someone else needs to see. That it’s okay to say you’re hurting. It’s okay to speak your truth. It’s okay to be human.

That is what I’ve realized in my experience, that we are all human. We all have experiences. We all go through. We’re all going through.

A few years back I let go. Released the grip I had on trying to keep it all together. I didn’t make an announcement, I just stopped. I stopped trying to avoid the head-on collision that would be me dealing with me. And in this time, God allowed for me to get some clarity and even a sense of closure that I’d long been searching for. It has been tough! It has taken so much out of me.

But I hit that rock bottom. I hit my rock bottom. There, I did exactly what I’d always knew I’d do: I ran into me. Without any energy to fight. No strength to run away. No desire to turn around or not allow it to happen.

I discovered the me that I’d left long ago: The inner child. The 6-8 year old that was introduced to sex via molestation. The 8-14 year old that had inappropriate sexual relations and learned about domestic dysfunction and abuse. The 11-14 year old going through puberty without a man available to teach or tell him what was going on. The complicated relationship with a biological father that had issues of his own and was not equipped to assist in any way. The 15 year old that dealt with bullying and low self-esteem. The 15 year old that found his mothers murdered body inside of their home. The 15 year old that was forced to make decisions because the “adults” in the room decided it best to pressure the 15 year old to go against the wishes of his mom in order to appease the faith and the family. The 15 year old that experienced abandonment and isolation from an entire community leaving he and his siblings after their mothers murder. The 16 year old that tried to maintain a sense of strength and consistency for he and his siblings.

There is so much more in those first years that I did not mention but some of these are the issues I had to heal from at rock bottom. The healing process has been ugly. It’s been painful.

But I refused to abandon it. I refused to let the little boy me down again. Even if the world does, I won’t, ever again.

So I had to acknowledge these things. And much more about myself. Things done to me and things I’ve done. I had to accept all of it as my truth, my story, my identity. First that little boy that experienced tremendous hurt and harm. Then the boy that became the hurt and harm to himself and to others. I had to take accountability for my involuntary, my inadvertent, and my intentional actions. Because they are all me.

And I’m still “facing the music”. I still have issues and individuals to heal with. I’m actually excited about that.

Because at “rock bottom” I discovered that I was important enough to get up. I’m important enough to move on. I’m important enough to keep going.

I’m worth it.

I’ve been able to look at the “whole” me and find value. Every word of my story was necessary to tell the WHOLE story. As I’ve told myself, “… YOUR story is more important when YOU tell it.”

I am important.

I matter.

I mean something.

I’m okay.

I deserve healing.

I am entitled to better.

I will win.

I appreciate me.

I believe in myself.

I believe myself.

I like myself.

I love me.



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Today’s -see 2/20/2023

I don’t argue about God. I might go back and forth with God (in my mind, in my spirit, in my self-talk) because oftentimes I’m not clear on what I’m doing and sometimes feel like God “allows” me to spin my wheels without going anywhere, unnecessarily. But it’s always turned out good and to my benefit from the perspective that I have consistently and constantly found myself to be guided by the presence of God in my life. I’m okay with that. This is my life.

I’m not getting into God-arguments though. Not anymore. God doesn’t need me to defend God. God doesn’t need me to justify, prove, persuade, convince, or argue that or why I believe God to be. God doesn’t need me as a spokesperson for God. This is God I’m speaking of! God- responsible for the creation and maintenance of existence- does not need me to validate that God is. And I won’t spend another second doing that. Not when I know what God is for me. With or without religion, in or out of a church, up or down in my feelings, God is. That’s where I’m at with it.

I’m not confused about it either. I’m not trying to figure out what and which text is the best one or one I should most-loosely adhere to. I’m not confused by which part or paragraph is to be taken verbatim versus which should be analyzed and ascribed to analogy or anecdote. I don’t believe I’m supposed to figure that out. I’m not going to try to.

I believe that I am here to be here. To be present and aware in the NOW of however long of a moment that I have in this realm. I know that I am here. I believe that while I am here it is my responsibility to connect and exhibit compassion, to show consideration, to acknowledge consistency, to conclude that grace and understanding are the best means and measures by which to accept and address humanity. I’m not here to be perfect. I’m here to participate. To experience pain and passion just the same. With eagerness to learn from the opportunity to exist.

I’m not here to be God.

I believe that I am very much so a particle of God. I believe that all the things that I consider good, God created. I believe that all the things that I consider not so good, God created. Because I believe that God is THE creator. Of ALL.

I know that there are a great number of things that I don’t know.

I know that I can suppose and assume and suggest and surmise a great deal about what I think God desires or demands. I know that I can get as lost as I choose to in the vortex of theological rhetoric in an effort to study for the sake of showing “thyself approved”. But, for what?

I’d much rather, not.

I am by no means “perfect”. I am by all means “participating”. My intention and my institution is to be good. I do far more good than I do the contrary. I help far more than I hurt. I give way more than I take. I love far deeper than I loathe. I consider quicker than I criticize. And as it relates to healing- which has been my personal albatross for a great period of time in life- I have finally arrived at this philosophy: It is imperative that I forget more than I remember.

I trust that God has all the stuff that I spent so many years trying to figure out, figured out. I believed- for most of those years- that to be my job, call, purpose, mission: to know what God intends. And I spent so much energy and time and all I possessed in an effort to get that clarity, that closure, that comfort.

And when I didn’t, I felt- especially because I listened to everyone else but me- guilty and ashamed by the disappointment of not getting the understanding or specific clarity that satisfied my questions. That made life extremely difficult. Feeling like I was a failure because I was confused. Because I didn’t get absolute and defined understanding.

Meanwhile, God and I have this relationship that has allowed me to see another side of things. But I felt guilty about it. Because that relationship didn’t fit me into the spaces of what I was told my purpose to be. The relationship that I have with God doesn’t have me in church or “ministry” like I was always told I should be. The relationship that I have with God doesn’t have me pressured to live restricted and removed like the guilt and shame of being a “sinner” had me feeling I should be. The relationship that I have with God doesn’t suffer me the frustration and fear that I once encapsulated while attempting to register how I feel about so many things. I have a relationship with God. No one else gets to or has to answer for me. I am confident that I can stand by my choices and decisions regarding the relationship that I have with God. I have no doubts there.

I’m not arguing about God.

I’ll argue about humans though. I will definitely argue about human behavior and human words and human feelings. There are some human problems and issues that exist that I believe I can help with. I believe we all can help one another. But what I’ve seen and experienced, far too often, is that religion and the establishments of religion- propagating under the guise of God’s word- perpetually prevent the people from problem solving. Because of power and control. Because of guilt and shame. Because of greed and jealousy. Because of envy and hatred. Because of system and tradition and race and money.

Because “that’s the way it’s been”.

We can’t afford to keep doing things the way they’ve been done. We have to change. We need to change.

I haven’t been a more productive part of that change because I was afraid to tell y’all that I don’t agree with y’all about God. (That’s a blanket statement). More specifically, I didn’t want to face the disappointment and disdain that I’ve seen and experienced when one doesn’t subscribe to the fold. I’ve lost relationships, friendships, and acquaintanceships because I don’t believe what some of my people feel that I should believe. I’ve experienced the alienation and abandonment that comes with not cooperating with a certain community. I’ve observed this in my own village most of my life.

No matter how “good” of a person I could have been. When I started voicing my concerns and questions I was seen as anything but good. It was like I’d done or said something absolutely monstrous. I was treated as such. That triggered a trauma response and so I shut down more of myself in order to stay in some fashion of committee with people.


Story time:

I call most soul food dinners “plantation plates”. I call it that because most of the traditional soul food that I am accustomed to and know about is writhed with a history that developed around a specific time period. When I hear stories of the Black Sunday dinner I almost always envision scenes from a time period that I don’t want to recall. But I know the history. I know that “soul food”, or the idea of, comes from the southern plantation dinner practices where enslaved black people were given limited rations of food from the white slave masters and they made due. They were given the scraps and scrapings but they prepared masterpieces! Some of our staple dishes come off of those menus: barbecued ribs, catfish, chitterlings, cornbread, and more.

Over time, even as we got free from that version of slavery, we’ve held onto that menu. Truth being told, 3 of my favorite foods are soul foods: Macaroni, Dressing, and Candied Yams. I’d eat them everyday without any problem. I like them just that much.

But I know they are not healthy choices. Macaroni is filled with butter and cheese, sodium, and fat. Dressing is high in calories, fat, sodium, and refined carbohydrates. Candied yams have entirely too much sugar. Yet I love them.

As a culture we love the plantation plate. Most of our homes serve these very dishes at least one day of the week. And every holiday consists of a spread that showcases the full farm of this traditional treachery.

Even as we suffer from diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, glaucoma, gout, cancer, stroke, heart attacks, death and more, disproportionately to other groups.

I often joke with “chitlin” eaters, “… You don’t have to eat that. We are free!” but to no remedy. They don’t want to hear that. They don’t care. They want what they want. Even if dit is ACTUALLY killing them.

But I know why. I believe that black folks know how unhealthy most of what we consume (as it relates to traditional soul food) is. That’s not why they eat it, or why it’s difficult to give up.

It’s hard to give up because these dishes and recipes were prepared for us by someone we love. Momma macaroni. Granny dressing. Aunty potato salad. Uncle ribs. Daddy pork chops. Great-Granny banana pudding. Big Momma neck bones and rice. And so on.

Giving up these dishes that are imprinted on our lives would mean disappointing and dismissing these people. Because Granny ain’t letting you leave her house without eating. Nor is Momma. Good luck walking out of most of our family’s homes and not breaking bread. Because these dishes mean something to us. To the individual that prepared them. To the history that passed them down. To the legacy that is shared through them.

These meals mean more to us than sustenance. They represent fellowship and community. They represent love and care. They represent concern and togetherness. They represent talent and time. They represent support and structure. They represent consistency and comfort. They represent some idea of success and celebration.

And that’s why it’s hard to give them up. Because of what they represent. What they mean to everyone. The who we attach them to. The where we attach them to. The when we attach them to. There are soul food dishes that mark specific occasion. These meals literally mean something.

We’re connected to them. We are not trying to let them go.


It’s the same with religion. The God that most of us serve was introduced to us with those meals and by those very important people. And just like those meals, we’ve passed down the sentimental attachment our traditions have served us.

And we’re attached.

Any attempt to disengage us from the hold that religion has on us is deemed an attack.

Even if/when we know that the intention is not to attack, we interpret it as such.

Because telling any of us that the God or the Jesus that we’ve known for so long is not who or what we have believed does not sound like that.

It sounds like you’re telling us that Grandma lied to us. Or momma lied to us. Or the church lies to us. And we care about those people. They love us. They wouldn’t lie to us.

Grandma’s midnight prayers to Jesus- we are told- saved our lives. Momma’s faith- in the God she knew- has kept us all this way. Our family has been in that church- the one preaching this very God- for 50 years. You’re not going to tell us that we’ve been doing any of this wrong. You’re not going to tell us that we’ve spent all this time and energy and thought into something that is not what we believed and had faith in it to be. You’re not going to tell us that we’ve come all this way to find out that this was the wrong way.


And because of the sentimental and generationally traditional habits of doing things the way we know, letting go is not going to be easy. For many it’s not even going to be possible.

It’s going to be more than an argument.

Faith too strong.

Spirit too stubborn.

Mind too made up.

I absolutely understand that.

Even if I can’t explain it as clearly as I might want to. Even if I don’t agree with it. I do understand it.

But I’m not finna argue ‘bout God.

No mo.

Because we need to be DOING the “Lord’s” work.

With that, well, I WILL NOT be arguing about God. Never again.


While I’m arguing about God, some work is not getting done. And there is too much work to do. Work that I believe is in OUR hands to take care of. Because God- who controls the entire fvcking universe- has the power to change our “circumstances” at the thought of changing it if that was what God wanted to do! If God had other intentions it would not take time to be. This is God we are talking about!

Breathe, See. Breathe.

I’m not arguing about God anymore. It’s not a win. Ever. It’s a distraction. It’s a detour. It’s a business. It works too freaking well with the scheme to keep us fighting and fussing about something that we have no reason to fight and fuss about.

Because while we’re going at it about God, the world that God created is suffering. And after all this time I’m going to say that maybe “waiting on God” is not the answer to each and every problem.






The “US” that God wants to work TOGETHER to figure all of this out.

Instead of debating, dissing, demonizing, distracting, deflecting, or even deciding.

Too many are spending an entire lifetime DECIDING.

Because they’ve made up their mind what God’s people look or sound or act like.

And honesty, God can’t use you like that.

And I’m not going to argue about it.



I Believe You [Poem]

I believe you...
led him to believe
that you wanted to
because you wanted to
and he had given you
some kind of impression
that he wanted you
and that was, at some point
enough of a reason
for you to come into
a space that,
made you comfortable
and by that point,
he was there to comfort you

... and a look continued
into a touch
that became a kiss
and you wanted so much...
to let him let himself go,
do whatever he wanted to
in order to let himself know
that he was in control
your mind, body, and soul
all in submission
and you had given him permission
to this point
to go this far
but now you feel different
like you don’t want to
and it’s hard
because it’s hard
and he’s saying that...
that you made it like this
and this part
is just this hard
and for his part, he’s no help
only caring about himself
at this point
and you’re not into it
or him,

I believe you...
had and have
every right
to change your mind
even this instance,
to stave off the kind of
guilt and shame
that comes and came
with feeling obligated
or oppressed into
being an object meant to supplant
his ego for your emotion
and by no means
is your suggestive gesture
any measure of support
that he should suggest his pleasure
more important
than your self-respect
or dignity
you do not owe him
a release, or relief
or anything that requires
that you surrender
to his desire
when you don’t want to
or it
does not matter what you said
what you wore
what you had done
how far you had gone
or if.

I believe you...
are believable
and it is absolutely inconceivable
to me
that anyone is unwilling to see
that it is not ever going to be
a power of any men
to un-empower you
and I’ll put my foot on the neck
of one attempting to devour you
or your voice
you are not our chattel
as so you choose
and there are some of us
who will advocate and apologize
until you lose... the fear
of not being valued
because too many of us
are insecure,
and in fear of being rejected,

I believe you...
deserve consideration
because you considered waiting
even after you’d considered saying
something else
you get to say no
whenever you say so
no one can say something else
and you get to consider you,
not what someone felt
or what they’ll say about you
because no matter what they say
and you being present and aware
in and at any given moment
to decide that you want to do
whatever you have chosen,
not what he, she,
or society says is appropriate
or inferred
don’t you dare accept responsibility
or a role
for anything absurd...
like “no one will believe you”
because YES the hell WE DO
and contrary to whatever context
that he will cite,
let me repeat:

So speak up about it
Speak out your loud
and Speak your truth
however you need to,
You are worth it
You are
worth whatever amount of
whatever it takes to
let your voice be heard,
and someone needs you
someone needs to hear you say it
that you survived
because you decided
not to take it... anymore
same rules apply,
to any woman
to any sister
to any daughter
to any niece
to any aunty
to any mother
to any cousin
to any friend
to any neighbor
to any free spirit
to any virgin
or any version
to any sex worker
to any whore...

That’s your body
and yours to say no
and if you say you didn’t say so,
I believe you.


©️2021 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Love Is… (Relationship)

There is definitely a period or season in which your relationship will be even, where it should be even. “Even” in a sense of and respect to accord and assurance and automatic access to agreement. There is a time where everything seemingly always goes together in a symbiotic unity that is all spectacular and in the space of magical amazingness.

It is supposed to be like that.

For a period, for a season.

But relationships that actually last and have depth and definition and detail and evolve into destiny aren’t “even” all the time. Not even most of the time.

There is always an issue, some challenges, some changes, disruption and delay, confusion, chaos, hurt and hell to go through. There is always a problem, a decision, a choice, an obligation and a responsibility to pick a side. There is always question and instigation and accusation and controversy. There is always mess and frustration and misery demanding to sit in your company. There are moments of lack and lethargy, discontent and so much noise.

While the work has to be done.

While the bills have to be paid.

While the home has to be kept.

While the kids have to be raised.

While the time keeps passing by.

And still, more importantly still…

The soul has to be uplifted.

The spirit has to be nourished.

The mind has to be stimulated.

The romance has to be maintained.

The peace has to kept.

Your mate has to be considered.

Love is not just love. Love is everything more than love. Love is all the things more than love. Love is sacrifice and surrender whilst satisfying self. Love is particular and specific and yet ambiguous and wide. Love is gentle and firm. Love is intelligent and understanding. Love is complete yet open, comprehensive and curious.

And relationships require the steadiness of the unknown to abide its journey into fate. Ever heard of the good fight? The good fight is a relationship. The good fight is an ever-ongoing battle for the sake of someone else. The good fight is sleepless and exhausting and turbulent and demanding and constant. It always is. There is no time or room for the expectations or ask that a relationship is anything other than that.

Those seasons of complete congruence are the ultimate reward for complying with a confrontation that is compliment of your courage and cause. That good is a direct result of how good you become in the tantrum of this dynamic. You will absolutely know the days that are fantastic by the default of what those terrible times demand of you!

You’ll find “odds” more often than not. What you will achieve good at is deciding when to debate and when to defer. Compassion and patience are outfits that should align the wardrobe of your wants. Love is tender. Love is an acute mandate that you honor and embody to stay in the way. To be available for the fight. To be present and aware to the unknown. Because you chose this and for as long as an iota of desire rest in the two of you, you are obligated to take arms and forge into the fisticuffs of faith and action.

Through it all. For as long as it takes. And that is matrimony. That is what marriage really is. That is a relationship. Arduous and audacious and ambitious and abundant and adamant.

For each one of you.

Because on both sides, bookending that “season” of total compliment is life. And life requires that differences be met with diligence and discipline. And life requires decision. You decided on a relationship.

This is what you have to do.



©2018 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Thought for the Moment [#5]

I do not want to be a “career” anything. I don’t believe that to be the point of existence. I don’t imagine life to ever have been intended for one place, or one thing.

I believe I am here for the experience, the experience of love and pain, of joy and hurt, of up and down.

I want to know more, try more, do more. I want to see and feel, MORE! I want to exercise my breath given right and obligation to experience such.

I want to continue to learn. I want to examine and discover. I want my curiosity to be eternal. I want to find out and touch.

I see life, in this dimension, as a moment. A moment that requires my full attention and energy. A moment that needs my presence. A moment that wanted me to be here.

And I am. I am here. To live. As I see and feel fit. To do so in cooperation with the universe. For the purpose and plan towards good and just and fair. For the cause of what is sincerely equal and right. Not what is expected or assumed or limited. Not what is ruled or controlled by the inconsistent and volatile nature of selfish, egotistical, and rude humanity.

I believe humans to be possible. Possible of good. Possible of amazing. Possible of wonderful! I believe humans can be more. And more is not excess or overkill or obsessive; More is smarter, kinder, gentler, more peaceful, more relaxed, more satisfied, more confident, more understanding, more engaging, more open, more compassionate, more consistent…

More human, and not what we’ve become… apps and programs and versions, of the duped and directed, of the controlled and silenced, of the scared and hopeless.

That is not life to me. So I choose to live another way. I choose to live from my heart and in my present and at this time…

and this, this I can do forever.


©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Today’s -see 12/10

Don’t ever make YOUR survival or YOUR success about anyone other than YOU!
It sounds wonderful to say that you are doing what you are doing for the family, for the children, for the block, for the hood, or for whatever or whoever else you have given the power of significance in YOUR life but the truth is that if YOU aren’t okay and straight, you won’t be able to get any of “them” okay or straight!
Once you have YOU in order you can get them in order, but the bar is set with you. Love, Trust, Character, Hustle, Pride, Responsibility, Growth…, all that stuff happens for you when YOU do what YOU are supposed to do! Then you’ve earned the ability to do it “for” them!