Tag Archives: Motivation

Love Is… (Relationship)

There is definitely a period or season in which your relationship will be even, where it should be even. “Even” in a sense of and respect to accord and assurance and automatic access to agreement. There is a time where everything seemingly always goes together in a symbiotic unity that is all spectacular and in the space of magical amazingness.

It is supposed to be like that.

For a period, for a season.

But relationships that actually last and have depth and definition and detail and evolve into destiny aren’t “even” all the time. Not even most of the time.

There is always an issue, some challenges, some changes, disruption and delay, confusion, chaos, hurt and hell to go through. There is always a problem, a decision, a choice, an obligation and a responsibility to pick a side. There is always question and instigation and accusation and controversy. There is always mess and frustration and misery demanding to sit in your company. There are moments of lack and lethargy, discontent and so much noise.

While the work has to be done.

While the bills have to be paid.

While the home has to be kept.

While the kids have to be raised.

While the time keeps passing by.

And still, more importantly still…

The soul has to be uplifted.

The spirit has to be nourished.

The mind has to be stimulated.

The romance has to be maintained.

The peace has to kept.

Your mate has to be considered.

Love is not just love. Love is everything more than love. Love is all the things more than love. Love is sacrifice and surrender whilst satisfying self. Love is particular and specific and yet ambiguous and wide. Love is gentle and firm. Love is intelligent and understanding. Love is complete yet open, comprehensive and curious.

And relationships require the steadiness of the unknown to abide its journey into fate. Ever heard of the good fight? The good fight is a relationship. The good fight is an ever-ongoing battle for the sake of someone else. The good fight is sleepless and exhausting and turbulent and demanding and constant. It always is. There is no time or room for the expectations or ask that a relationship is anything other than that.

Those seasons of complete congruence are the ultimate reward for complying with a confrontation that is compliment of your courage and cause. That good is a direct result of how good you become in the tantrum of this dynamic. You will absolutely know the days that are fantastic by the default of what those terrible times demand of you!

You’ll find “odds” more often than not. What you will achieve good at is deciding when to debate and when to defer. Compassion and patience are outfits that should align the wardrobe of your wants. Love is tender. Love is an acute mandate that you honor and embody to stay in the way. To be available for the fight. To be present and aware to the unknown. Because you chose this and for as long as an iota of desire rest in the two of you, you are obligated to take arms and forge into the fisticuffs of faith and action.

Through it all. For as long as it takes. And that is matrimony. That is what marriage really is. That is a relationship. Arduous and audacious and ambitious and abundant and adamant.

For each one of you.

Because on both sides, bookending that “season” of total compliment is life. And life requires that differences be met with diligence and discipline. And life requires decision. You decided on a relationship.

This is what you have to do.



©2018 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Relationship (Notes)…

The best relationship is the one where y’all can actually RELATE! Like, the two of you KNOW one another because you learned and studied to gain the wisdom of how to treat/deal with/care for/love on/trust in/be trusted by/respect/appreciate/build/build with/acknowledge/honor/protect/be loyal to/be committed to/ be faithful to/understand/challenge/grow/push/motivate/drive/inspire/parent with/share with/be responsible for/regard/consider/plan with/plant with/grow with/succeed with one another. And there is so much more.

The REAL relationships don’t just make it when things are good, when there is money, when there is a crowd, when everyone is watching, when the weather is perfect. The REAL relationships survive the quiet, navigate through and get better through the storm, figure out how to handle and respect the hardships and trials. The REAL relationships communicate through it all. Whether they talk it out, hug it out, cry it out, pray it out, plan it out, THEY WORK IT OUT TOGETHER. These are the relationships that survive. Because they’ve earned being fought for. Because they have value aside of temporal and trivial desires. They matter more. They mean something more TO BOTH PARTNERS. There is more than a sense and notion towards the consistency. They strive to be solid. They acknowledge and understand the peace in that. They are backed by love BUT they are maintained by THE WORK! By the effort! By the energy put forth.

The REAL relationships aren’t always on the same PAGE but they are ALWAYS working towards the same ENDING of the same BOOK. So any disagreement/argument/critique/criticism/issue is always handled with this in mind: We may not always “agree” but WE HAVE AGREED that nothing is too big or to hard for our own selfish desires to humble and acknowledge that we may be wrong or uninformed or unaware of and able to constructively work through. REAL LOVE and REAL RELATIONSHIPS acknowledge this and accept that this is the law that must be abided by. Because there will always be a reason or excuse to walk away or give up but the reason to stay is worth doing just that.

And then know this… THE RIGHT MATE, PARTNER, SPOUSE is absolutely worth surrendering, sacrificing, and settling for. That is what you have to do in order to remove the pass and access that exposes you to temptation or “options” outside of your committed relationship. The Safety/Security/Significance of your union requires and depends on you choosing and standing/staying by YOUR choice. And when two people have this as the mandate of their hearts/minds/souls then what follows is the kind of symbiosis that supports and provides FOREVER BLISS, “happily ever after”, REAL!

It is a process. It is work. It requires your attention, your strength, your compassion, your ALL, your EVERYTHING, from BOTH OF YOU, continuously.

It will work IF YOU DO THE WORK and keep working so that it works out…

Can you RELATE?


©2018 Cornelious “See” Flowers


On Social Media…

suffice it to say,
everyone cheats
but not everyone gets caught
just as well,
everybody is for sell
but not everyone gets bought
no man is without blame
we all are guilty at a very least
each and all are liars to some extent
silence is honor amongst the thieves
pillow talk could serve subpoena
trust will indict for blame
emotions produce the evidence
hurt will mirror just the same
the resentment of regret
is why optimism dies
facing towards the past
is for production of the cries
jealousy is how we go
hate is why we do
ego is always toxic
pride is always proof
there are no true rules of engagement
be it just necessary means
hard work humbled by a lottery
of beneficial cons and schemes
and everyone is just as ready
to pounce upon the wave
a master speak in master,
and a slave should speak in slave
electronic crowds of the foolish
photographic clouds contain the midst
no particular order of success
just whomever made the list
green lights direct the traffic
along this worldwide web
spiders of insecurity
catch their prey by walking dead
a false sense of belonging
misguided notions of a ruse
in a snap she loses dignity
bartered cheaply for some views
and to some victim comes the spoil
a rotted carcass dressed in shame
pleading guilty of being normal
or being wanted, just the same
ideas toward being different
shot down by capitalists
follow me for your instruction
is from the wisdom of assists
and share in this destruction
leave your soul and sight behind
better yet to be accepted
than to ignore these private lives
diminish your capacity
for who you were to be
he left his true ambition
for the attention of a scene
haven’t seen them since logging on
been different zombies by the day
remembered to check your timeline
but forgot to walk away
and no distinction of these victims
child and parent share alike
whose to say there should be different
if we pretend it not as why
continue scrolling down this spiral
and find yourself along the way
another mention in the graveyard
becoming ghost of hollowed way

… suffice it to say,
everyone cheats
but not everyone gets caught
just as well,
everybody is for sell
but not everyone gets bought.


©2018 Cornelious “See” Flowers

the space between words… [POEM]

there is

and rooms,
quickly filled


thoughts, intentions, ideas,
notions, reasons, excuses, lies,
confusions, wants, needs, hopes,
baggage, hurts, frustrations, desires, truths, riddles, guesses, issues, longings, potential, possibility, anger, curiosity, inconsistencies, feelings, fears, disguises, masks, problems, questions, solutions, suggestions, answers, idiosyncrasies, evidence, proof, dead-ends, paths, clarity, unknowns,


and language that
,without ever coming to conclusion,
no translation

hope and hazard
clue to what happens after
that is unsuccessful
at trying to be

but the sentences make sense
like sentiment
messages sent, meant
to lead one to assumption
whereby gumption is granted
to listen

because i haven’t heard the verb
or seen the word that moves
using action and consistency,
literally and consistently

just narrative
that barely meets the standard
of what is required
and so listening has grown tired

a complete sentence goes
the way you should have
and has the answer
that you could have
if you only knew that
you would have
been better not saying anything

lest it was your explanaction
and punctuated
with the perfect symbol
like memories or dreams tend to
unlike most now’s
that are just nouns
or presents
that aren’t really


Of. Me.
To. Require.
That. You. Deliver.

says Me, in response to the mirror
looking at empty rooms
because of doors
and too many lent out keys

the question was complicated
and the answer was please
the lock should have kept them out
but the password was need

or attention
bandaid for self-esteem
or just an option
because to have those is to win
and losing (in perception)
is a sin

even if i feel better waiting
for what i truly want
and refuse to haunt my ghosts
with lust
or greed
for similarly “finer” things

there is
t o o much s p a c e

room for doubt,
and people
that don’t deserve to be there
but are
because they are aware

wearing costumes that fit
-only the moment-
becoming permanent mistakes
and giving reason rarely
to justify even speaking

caught my self “not” everything,
but thinking
before i recognize
that it is my right
to do right
and only allow
for right to be done

or accept incomplete
ignorant to my need
that doesn’t sound right
just what is left
when the purpose was nothing other
than to waste breath.


©2018 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Unsuccessful…   [POEM]

What will you respond
when asked of fate
’twas a moment of necessity
but you showed up late

How will you explain
when given the floor
’twas the time to produce
but you asked for more

Where will you begin
when afforded the chance
’twas for you to commit
but you wouldn’t advance

When will you prepare
when there is left no time
’twas there for your choosing
but it wasn’t your kind

Why did you want it
when you knew you shouldn’t
’twas an opportunity to excel
but you knew you couldn’t.


©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Nostalgia… [POEM]

I think of you
more now
than ever before
that you’re gone
only stops a breathe
holding it in
to remember
forcing myself
to surrender,
time to start over
or tarry on

you were once there
to say such a thing
and now you’ve disappeared
a memory
reminds me to forget
or at least quit
trying to find you
when there is a blankness,
behind you
that erases every word
before I get to speak
leaving me
to think,

I wonder if time believes you
like I do
and if space
grants you permission
to move on
like I tried to
or if this is all a dream
that I have been lied to
how are you so cold
leftover winter
how can this long
like leftover dinner
i still enjoy the thought
crumbs still on the table
I am unable to walk away

You used to say
that I would be just fine
and I thought
you were just trying
to give me the strength
that you had back then
but you were bending
to teach me
that life is but
a fleeting thing
and is almost better served
in memory

when I say your name
you exist
and as I write it out
you persist
to be just as much now
as you you ever were
for a better service
being what I need
so I can leave
step away from pain
that you’ve journeyed on
is just a change
and those happen,

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers


Thought for the Moment [#14]

“Make it happen”

Don’t be so lost in “logical” or fantasizing in faith that you pass your practical.

What can you really do?

No, seriously…

What can YOU really do?

Do that. Don’t mire in the details, or the distractions. Stop imagining the interruptions or the impediments… DO SOMETHING. One step at a time, one foot in front of the other, day by day.

It won’t all be done in one swift moment. It was never meant to be. You wouldn’t appreciate it if it was. You need the process. You need the practice. You need the plan.

Today is a great day to start. Beginning is the most controversial and congested part. Once you fight through the armies and legions of doubt and delay, obstacle and obstruction, pessimism and problem, you are well on your way. But you have to get that far. You have to press to get that far.

No excuses or explanations are necessary. Just do it.

There is a benefit to your “bad”. There is a reward for your repetition. There is a success designed and designated for YOUR story!
You have to figure it out. You have to work it out. It is in you, and you have to get it out.

You don’t need an example. You need the exercise. You don’t have to be the expert. You are an expert of YOUR experience. You are exactly what YOU need to make it happen!

Make it happen!

©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Thought for the Moment [#11]

Just BE with who you want to BE with…

The person that brings BEING out of you. The person that BELIEVES in you. The person that BECOMES with you. The person that is there BECAUSE they want to BE and you want them there! The person that inspires, motivates, and pushes you to BE more, or BE better, or BE different. The person that wants you to BE free, BE healed, and BE greater! The person that BESTOWS trust and loyalty and honor into your life. The person that helps you BEGIN the work, or the process(es) necessary to BE what or where you want to BE.

First you have to BE you. No mask, no disguises, no pretending. You can’t BE afraid. You have to BE willing to open your mind, heart, soul, and life, to someone else in order for them to BE able to BE a partner to and for you. You cannot BE ashamed or insecure about what you have BEEN or done. If they can acknowledge you, they can accept you. You have to BE strong enough to allow yourself to do that. It is the ultimate test of faith and courage, but you won’t ever BE whole until you account for the broken pieces. You have to BE willing to present all of it.

There is someone that makes you want to BE honest, BE faithful, BE stable, BE secure, BE revealed, BE healthy, BE productive, BE accountable, and BE theirs. BE honest with yourself, BE honest with them. BE with them. BE committed. BE open. BE courageous. BE willing. BE true.

And it will BE. That safety, security, and significance, that you’ve been searching for. That friendship, that relationship, that understanding. That bond, that home, that fantasy, that dream, that life, that LOVE. That love that makes it all make sense. That love that you’ve longed and looked for. That love that calms you. That love that energizes you. That love that brings you peace. That love that you’re willing to fight, or wait, for.

It could BE yours.
It will BE yours.
You just have to BE ready.


©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Thought for the Moment [#9]

Sometimes the problem is too big to just eliminate. You have to attack it from the sides, the causes and the effects; the situations and the symptoms.

You may not be able to eradicate the main issue because of many reasons, but you can alter and effect the results or some of the reasons for its happening. Doing that may relieve some of the pressure. That release will give you some of the movement and functionality that allows you to change course, alter behaviors, change a location, correct a problem, attack a habit. Those things can eliminate the problem, or significantly reduce its access to you.

Addressing the “symptoms” may provide the motivation or drive that initiates your desire to really do whatever it takes to change something. The tedious, time-consuming, invasive, almost embarrassing nature of some “symptoms” should prompt you to engage alternate- even drastic- measures to fix a problem. The “symptoms” are sometimes worse than whatever the issue is.
So deal with them head-on, deliberately, and decisively! While doing that, consider the “situations” that inspired the problem that delivered the symptoms. Consider what can or must be done to change it or them! Then change it or them.
Especially if you don’t like the symptoms. Especially if they restrict you, hurt you, delay you, infect or affect you, negatively.

Until you feel better. Until you do better. Until you are better. And never forget how you felt because of how those “symptoms” made you feel. That’s the lesson. That’s the lesson you learn, prevention. The message is clear. You don’t like how it made you feel, or what it forced you to do, or kept you from doing. So you stop doing it! You change the whatever you need to change, start whatever you need to start, quit whatever you need to quit, in order to do that.

Until you’re “symptom” (pain) free. And then you eliminate those “situations”. That problem will go away.


©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers

Thought for the Moment [#4]

Trust Issues.

Humans lie. Humans cheat. Humans disappoint. Humans fail. Humans hurt. Humans hate. Humans avoid. Humans mislead. Humans steal. Humans kill. Humans hide. Humans destroy. Humans pervert. Humans manipulate. Humans deceive. Humans deny.

You have every right to your trust issues.

Every person on this earth is human. Every human is capable of doing something that a human does. That includes things that are terrible and unfortunate and cruel. That includes the malicious and the mistake. It includes the intentional and the inadvertent. It includes the purposed and the impossible.

Do not ever let anyone tell you that your worry, caution, or paranoia is invalid or unwarranted. Do not let someone attempt to convince you that your skeptical mindset is inappropriate or unnecessary. Do not barter away the instinct or intuition that guards or guides you towards safety, for some false sense of security, in order to compensate some other persons ego or feeling. Forget that! You have no obligation to believe people for the sake of believing them. Not when that belief leaves you susceptible to the dangers and defaults of what unknowingness is.

That is too much of a risk to take haphazardly.

People, {humans}, are prone to behavior and character that is influenced or impressed upon by any given moments notice. By virtue of that randomness and spontaneity, those humans are sometimes apt to find themselves in positions and places that force them to accommodate less than ideal standards or statutes. The point with that is, you haven’t seen the extent of what a human is capable of!

And you’ve probably experienced some of humanity’s worst offenses already. Whether first-hand or from the experience or knowledge of just ordinary life. Within your home or on the job, from social-settings to public domains, from your family circle to your faith community. There are almost no words to encapsulate just how probable the reality and likelihood of encountering “humanity” is. No matter who you are, where you’re from, or what you do, you are going to be the “victim” of a human circumstance or situation that does the exact opposite of what you intended or expected.

Because people will be people. And people are going to do “people” shit. People are going to go all “people” on you at the most inconvenient and inconsistent of times. Like, right when you expect people to act different or do different or say different, they do the same low-down, dirty, foul, inconceivable, unbelievable, and unconscionable stuff that you know, people do.

You are not crazy for keeping one eye open when it comes to “people”.

But people need to be forgiven. People deserve other chances. People require understanding and compassion, from you, for their ills and idiosyncrasies. People are entitled to your grace and mercy. People require your faith and trust.

Sounds like some kind of trick, huh?

It’s not. It’s real. It’s the way that it is. It is the only way that you will ever get to a point of not being so vulnerable or “available” to the hurt and disappointment of some of the things that people do. It is the only way that you will ever achieve any type of success in any area of life that functions on the behalf of your interaction or communication with other humans. It is a necessary thing, a natural thing, to deal with people and to have to deal with people’s mess and “stuff”.

Because the truth is, you are just as “people” as people are, and you know full well that your life is full of “human” moments that you’ve probably just done a good job of hiding or keeping out of the open. And don’t even pretend that your little white lie is less of an issue than some monstrosity of injustice or flagrant disregard for humanity that someone else’s is. Because the truth is that little white lies sometimes trigger BIG emotional reactions and consequences. I’d propose that some of the most vile and vicious acts of humanity became possible at the behest of what some person thought to be an insignificant thought, or feeling.

Sparks ignite fuses ignite bombs.

The fact is that the best thing that you can ever do is to learn to trust yourself, to be human, and to expect that with that comes, well, you know, being human. Feelings, thoughts, actions, emotions, problems, difficulties, and whatever else. And ALL humans go through the range and gamut of experience that life has to offer. Life is the biggest culprit in humans being humans. Because life hits humans with punches and blows that you are never totally prepared or positioned for. And that is actually the beauty of it, the unknown. That is what feeds the senses and the appetite for adventure, the unexpected. That arouses the intellect and stimulates the mind. The adrenaline of the human experience provides the foundation that is itself, what we are her for, to live.

And to live is to learn. You learn through experience. Your experience, if you’re living, is inevitable. And with that inevitable life, comes people. And their stuff. And their baggage. And their pasts. And their craziness. And their troubles. And their mess.

But those very people, those people get healed. They get cured. They get fixed. They apologize. They learn. They recognize. They change. They forget. They understand. They forgive. They love. They remember. They try. They do. They begin. They practice. They earn. They acknowledge. They believe.

And you are one of those people. And trust issues bring about change.

And that change is well worth wanting, fighting, or waiting for.


©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers