Tag Archives: Life

Today’s -see 2/21/2023

The only place I’d ever been afraid of was “rock bottom”. Because I knew that in that place I’d have to deal with me. I’d have to face me. I’d have to confront and comfort, me. I’d have to be honest with me.

I was afraid to do that because I know the hurt that I have. I know the secrets. I know the pain. I know the problems. I know the anger. I know the frustration. I know the questions.

I know the guilt.

So I spent years upon years trying to avoid me. Trying to not feel. Trying to not acknowledge the me that desperately needed my attention.

Instead I’ve attempted to focus on everything and everyone else.

But the purpose and the plan and the potential of my life REQUIRES me to be whole. Not perfect, but whole. I can’t be just an expression. I have to be an example. I have to speak my truth because that’s the power that God gave me. I’m able to endure. And then explain. I have no problem telling my story. I have no issue speaking my mind. I’m okay with me. And that is the example someone else needs to see. That it’s okay to say you’re hurting. It’s okay to speak your truth. It’s okay to be human.

That is what I’ve realized in my experience, that we are all human. We all have experiences. We all go through. We’re all going through.

A few years back I let go. Released the grip I had on trying to keep it all together. I didn’t make an announcement, I just stopped. I stopped trying to avoid the head-on collision that would be me dealing with me. And in this time, God allowed for me to get some clarity and even a sense of closure that I’d long been searching for. It has been tough! It has taken so much out of me.

But I hit that rock bottom. I hit my rock bottom. There, I did exactly what I’d always knew I’d do: I ran into me. Without any energy to fight. No strength to run away. No desire to turn around or not allow it to happen.

I discovered the me that I’d left long ago: The inner child. The 6-8 year old that was introduced to sex via molestation. The 8-14 year old that had inappropriate sexual relations and learned about domestic dysfunction and abuse. The 11-14 year old going through puberty without a man available to teach or tell him what was going on. The complicated relationship with a biological father that had issues of his own and was not equipped to assist in any way. The 15 year old that dealt with bullying and low self-esteem. The 15 year old that found his mothers murdered body inside of their home. The 15 year old that was forced to make decisions because the “adults” in the room decided it best to pressure the 15 year old to go against the wishes of his mom in order to appease the faith and the family. The 15 year old that experienced abandonment and isolation from an entire community leaving he and his siblings after their mothers murder. The 16 year old that tried to maintain a sense of strength and consistency for he and his siblings.

There is so much more in those first years that I did not mention but some of these are the issues I had to heal from at rock bottom. The healing process has been ugly. It’s been painful.

But I refused to abandon it. I refused to let the little boy me down again. Even if the world does, I won’t, ever again.

So I had to acknowledge these things. And much more about myself. Things done to me and things I’ve done. I had to accept all of it as my truth, my story, my identity. First that little boy that experienced tremendous hurt and harm. Then the boy that became the hurt and harm to himself and to others. I had to take accountability for my involuntary, my inadvertent, and my intentional actions. Because they are all me.

And I’m still “facing the music”. I still have issues and individuals to heal with. I’m actually excited about that.

Because at “rock bottom” I discovered that I was important enough to get up. I’m important enough to move on. I’m important enough to keep going.

I’m worth it.

I’ve been able to look at the “whole” me and find value. Every word of my story was necessary to tell the WHOLE story. As I’ve told myself, “… YOUR story is more important when YOU tell it.”

I am important.

I matter.

I mean something.

I’m okay.

I deserve healing.

I am entitled to better.

I will win.

I appreciate me.

I believe in myself.

I believe myself.

I like myself.

I love me.

-see

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Today’s -see 2/20/2023

I don’t argue about God. I might go back and forth with God (in my mind, in my spirit, in my self-talk) because oftentimes I’m not clear on what I’m doing and sometimes feel like God “allows” me to spin my wheels without going anywhere, unnecessarily. But it’s always turned out good and to my benefit from the perspective that I have consistently and constantly found myself to be guided by the presence of God in my life. I’m okay with that. This is my life.

I’m not getting into God-arguments though. Not anymore. God doesn’t need me to defend God. God doesn’t need me to justify, prove, persuade, convince, or argue that or why I believe God to be. God doesn’t need me as a spokesperson for God. This is God I’m speaking of! God- responsible for the creation and maintenance of existence- does not need me to validate that God is. And I won’t spend another second doing that. Not when I know what God is for me. With or without religion, in or out of a church, up or down in my feelings, God is. That’s where I’m at with it.

I’m not confused about it either. I’m not trying to figure out what and which text is the best one or one I should most-loosely adhere to. I’m not confused by which part or paragraph is to be taken verbatim versus which should be analyzed and ascribed to analogy or anecdote. I don’t believe I’m supposed to figure that out. I’m not going to try to.

I believe that I am here to be here. To be present and aware in the NOW of however long of a moment that I have in this realm. I know that I am here. I believe that while I am here it is my responsibility to connect and exhibit compassion, to show consideration, to acknowledge consistency, to conclude that grace and understanding are the best means and measures by which to accept and address humanity. I’m not here to be perfect. I’m here to participate. To experience pain and passion just the same. With eagerness to learn from the opportunity to exist.

I’m not here to be God.

I believe that I am very much so a particle of God. I believe that all the things that I consider good, God created. I believe that all the things that I consider not so good, God created. Because I believe that God is THE creator. Of ALL.

I know that there are a great number of things that I don’t know.

I know that I can suppose and assume and suggest and surmise a great deal about what I think God desires or demands. I know that I can get as lost as I choose to in the vortex of theological rhetoric in an effort to study for the sake of showing “thyself approved”. But, for what?

I’d much rather, not.

I am by no means “perfect”. I am by all means “participating”. My intention and my institution is to be good. I do far more good than I do the contrary. I help far more than I hurt. I give way more than I take. I love far deeper than I loathe. I consider quicker than I criticize. And as it relates to healing- which has been my personal albatross for a great period of time in life- I have finally arrived at this philosophy: It is imperative that I forget more than I remember.

I trust that God has all the stuff that I spent so many years trying to figure out, figured out. I believed- for most of those years- that to be my job, call, purpose, mission: to know what God intends. And I spent so much energy and time and all I possessed in an effort to get that clarity, that closure, that comfort.

And when I didn’t, I felt- especially because I listened to everyone else but me- guilty and ashamed by the disappointment of not getting the understanding or specific clarity that satisfied my questions. That made life extremely difficult. Feeling like I was a failure because I was confused. Because I didn’t get absolute and defined understanding.

Meanwhile, God and I have this relationship that has allowed me to see another side of things. But I felt guilty about it. Because that relationship didn’t fit me into the spaces of what I was told my purpose to be. The relationship that I have with God doesn’t have me in church or “ministry” like I was always told I should be. The relationship that I have with God doesn’t have me pressured to live restricted and removed like the guilt and shame of being a “sinner” had me feeling I should be. The relationship that I have with God doesn’t suffer me the frustration and fear that I once encapsulated while attempting to register how I feel about so many things. I have a relationship with God. No one else gets to or has to answer for me. I am confident that I can stand by my choices and decisions regarding the relationship that I have with God. I have no doubts there.

I’m not arguing about God.

I’ll argue about humans though. I will definitely argue about human behavior and human words and human feelings. There are some human problems and issues that exist that I believe I can help with. I believe we all can help one another. But what I’ve seen and experienced, far too often, is that religion and the establishments of religion- propagating under the guise of God’s word- perpetually prevent the people from problem solving. Because of power and control. Because of guilt and shame. Because of greed and jealousy. Because of envy and hatred. Because of system and tradition and race and money.

Because “that’s the way it’s been”.

We can’t afford to keep doing things the way they’ve been done. We have to change. We need to change.

I haven’t been a more productive part of that change because I was afraid to tell y’all that I don’t agree with y’all about God. (That’s a blanket statement). More specifically, I didn’t want to face the disappointment and disdain that I’ve seen and experienced when one doesn’t subscribe to the fold. I’ve lost relationships, friendships, and acquaintanceships because I don’t believe what some of my people feel that I should believe. I’ve experienced the alienation and abandonment that comes with not cooperating with a certain community. I’ve observed this in my own village most of my life.

No matter how “good” of a person I could have been. When I started voicing my concerns and questions I was seen as anything but good. It was like I’d done or said something absolutely monstrous. I was treated as such. That triggered a trauma response and so I shut down more of myself in order to stay in some fashion of committee with people.

—-

Story time:

I call most soul food dinners “plantation plates”. I call it that because most of the traditional soul food that I am accustomed to and know about is writhed with a history that developed around a specific time period. When I hear stories of the Black Sunday dinner I almost always envision scenes from a time period that I don’t want to recall. But I know the history. I know that “soul food”, or the idea of, comes from the southern plantation dinner practices where enslaved black people were given limited rations of food from the white slave masters and they made due. They were given the scraps and scrapings but they prepared masterpieces! Some of our staple dishes come off of those menus: barbecued ribs, catfish, chitterlings, cornbread, and more.

Over time, even as we got free from that version of slavery, we’ve held onto that menu. Truth being told, 3 of my favorite foods are soul foods: Macaroni, Dressing, and Candied Yams. I’d eat them everyday without any problem. I like them just that much.

But I know they are not healthy choices. Macaroni is filled with butter and cheese, sodium, and fat. Dressing is high in calories, fat, sodium, and refined carbohydrates. Candied yams have entirely too much sugar. Yet I love them.

As a culture we love the plantation plate. Most of our homes serve these very dishes at least one day of the week. And every holiday consists of a spread that showcases the full farm of this traditional treachery.

Even as we suffer from diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, glaucoma, gout, cancer, stroke, heart attacks, death and more, disproportionately to other groups.

I often joke with “chitlin” eaters, “… You don’t have to eat that. We are free!” but to no remedy. They don’t want to hear that. They don’t care. They want what they want. Even if dit is ACTUALLY killing them.

But I know why. I believe that black folks know how unhealthy most of what we consume (as it relates to traditional soul food) is. That’s not why they eat it, or why it’s difficult to give up.

It’s hard to give up because these dishes and recipes were prepared for us by someone we love. Momma macaroni. Granny dressing. Aunty potato salad. Uncle ribs. Daddy pork chops. Great-Granny banana pudding. Big Momma neck bones and rice. And so on.

Giving up these dishes that are imprinted on our lives would mean disappointing and dismissing these people. Because Granny ain’t letting you leave her house without eating. Nor is Momma. Good luck walking out of most of our family’s homes and not breaking bread. Because these dishes mean something to us. To the individual that prepared them. To the history that passed them down. To the legacy that is shared through them.

These meals mean more to us than sustenance. They represent fellowship and community. They represent love and care. They represent concern and togetherness. They represent talent and time. They represent support and structure. They represent consistency and comfort. They represent some idea of success and celebration.

And that’s why it’s hard to give them up. Because of what they represent. What they mean to everyone. The who we attach them to. The where we attach them to. The when we attach them to. There are soul food dishes that mark specific occasion. These meals literally mean something.

We’re connected to them. We are not trying to let them go.

—-

It’s the same with religion. The God that most of us serve was introduced to us with those meals and by those very important people. And just like those meals, we’ve passed down the sentimental attachment our traditions have served us.

And we’re attached.

Any attempt to disengage us from the hold that religion has on us is deemed an attack.

Even if/when we know that the intention is not to attack, we interpret it as such.

Because telling any of us that the God or the Jesus that we’ve known for so long is not who or what we have believed does not sound like that.

It sounds like you’re telling us that Grandma lied to us. Or momma lied to us. Or the church lies to us. And we care about those people. They love us. They wouldn’t lie to us.

Grandma’s midnight prayers to Jesus- we are told- saved our lives. Momma’s faith- in the God she knew- has kept us all this way. Our family has been in that church- the one preaching this very God- for 50 years. You’re not going to tell us that we’ve been doing any of this wrong. You’re not going to tell us that we’ve spent all this time and energy and thought into something that is not what we believed and had faith in it to be. You’re not going to tell us that we’ve come all this way to find out that this was the wrong way.

Nope.

And because of the sentimental and generationally traditional habits of doing things the way we know, letting go is not going to be easy. For many it’s not even going to be possible.

It’s going to be more than an argument.

Faith too strong.

Spirit too stubborn.

Mind too made up.

I absolutely understand that.

Even if I can’t explain it as clearly as I might want to. Even if I don’t agree with it. I do understand it.

But I’m not finna argue ‘bout God.

No mo.

Because we need to be DOING the “Lord’s” work.

With that, well, I WILL NOT be arguing about God. Never again.

Because…

While I’m arguing about God, some work is not getting done. And there is too much work to do. Work that I believe is in OUR hands to take care of. Because God- who controls the entire fvcking universe- has the power to change our “circumstances” at the thought of changing it if that was what God wanted to do! If God had other intentions it would not take time to be. This is God we are talking about!

Breathe, See. Breathe.

I’m not arguing about God anymore. It’s not a win. Ever. It’s a distraction. It’s a detour. It’s a business. It works too freaking well with the scheme to keep us fighting and fussing about something that we have no reason to fight and fuss about.

Because while we’re going at it about God, the world that God created is suffering. And after all this time I’m going to say that maybe “waiting on God” is not the answer to each and every problem.

Maybe

This

Is

On

Us.

The “US” that God wants to work TOGETHER to figure all of this out.

Instead of debating, dissing, demonizing, distracting, deflecting, or even deciding.

Too many are spending an entire lifetime DECIDING.

Because they’ve made up their mind what God’s people look or sound or act like.

And honesty, God can’t use you like that.

And I’m not going to argue about it.

-see

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Today’s -see 2/17/2023

What are YOU worth?

What is worth it FOR YOU?

What is IT worth TO YOU?

Ask yourself these questions.

Answer these questions.

Then consider this:

“They” might not be sure what to pay YOU because you’re not sure what to charge THEM.

You have a value. You have a price.

And YOU get to determine that number.

Your experience, your energy, your example, and your expertise may justify that number. But your number doesn’t have to consider any of those factors if what you say you are worth is what you decide you are worth! What you want in return and exchange for your time, talent, attention, advice, support, presence, name, skill, product, service, tutelage, opinion, commentary and whatever else is UP TO YOU! YOU are YOUR determining factor. You are who decide how and when and where everyone gets to deal with you.

You have to believe that about yourself. You have to want that for yourself.

Because, if they want YOU, they’re going to pay YOUR price! Whatever your price is. If they can’t pay it now, they’ll save up to get it. Because it’s YOU!

If they want YOU, they’ll pay for YOU!

Especially when you’re the absolute best at being YOU. Because no one else can do or BE that. Only YOU!

And whatever YOU decide that is worth…

You can charge!

And the more than likely result:

YOU WILL GET IT!

And you won’t have to discount yourself or bargain your worth or coupon your character or ration your value or sell yourself short to win.

There is a market FOR YOU!!! A thriving market. An untapped, UNCAPPED market.

With an audience and supporters and CUSTOMERS with connections and contacts and RESOURCES…

Just FOR YOU!

Time to get it.

-see

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Thought for the Moment- 1/27/22

You are going to mess up. You are going to absolutely error in the living of your life. You are going to fall and fail and then find it almost impossible to recover from certain mistakes. You are going to destroy some opportunities, some relationships, and some people. That’s just the truth. You are going to lose. You are going to lose money, time, things, people, moments, sleep. You are going to suffer. You are going to struggle. You are going to find it remarkably difficult to maintain at times. You are going to hurt. You are going to lose faith. You are going to lose hope. You are going to lose more than that. You are going to lose your vision. You are going to lose your dream. You are going to lose your potential. You are going to find it a challenge to smile. You are going to anger. You are going to be miserable. You are going to be depressed. You are going to be sick.

But if you are who I believe YOU ARE, YOU ARE GOING TO BE OKAY!

Because, here’s the thing, YOU ARE GOING!

You are not dead. You still have a chance. You still have an opportunity. You still have a reason. YOU-STILL-HAVE!

You are going to reset. You are going to recover. You are going to try again. You are going to keep trying.

Life is not all love and likable moments. Life ain’t fair. Life ain’t equal. Life ain’t consistent. Life ain’t just.

Life is chaotic. Life is erratic. Life is spontaneous. Life is a fight. Life is a struggle. Life is a competition. Life is a battle.

And life is delicate. Life is fragile. Life is precious.

If you’re reading this, life is available. Because you’re living. And that’s the first and most important part of every story, the part that lives…

Life requires YOUR participation! You have to LIVE IT. And living includes the gamut of these things. Living is down and up, out and in, poor and rich, bad and good, losing and winning, failure and success, challenge and change. Life is the overcoming, and the redemption, and the vindication, that you get to experience. Because YOU CHOOSE TO NOT GIVE UP! Because you choose to LIVE!!!

And if you do…

YOU ARE GOING to win. YOU ARE GOING to survive. YOU ARE GOING to become. YOU ARE GOING to succeed. YOU ARE GOING to thrive. YOU ARE GOING to recover! YOU ARE GOING to benefit. YOU ARE GOING to want it, get it, do it, have it, keep it, share it, and be able to talk about it!

That’s what it’s about- living- the experience. Your life is about YOU living it.

Not just till the end, but to the fullest.

-see

©️2023 Cornelious “See” Flowers All Rights Reserved

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What are you waiting to DO?

You can want for it to happen.

You can wish for it to happen.

You can wait for it to happen.

Or you can make it happen.

And that, quite simply, is the difference between those who do, and those who don’t. That is quite often, most of the time, what really determines whether someone or some thing is a failure or a success.

Those that did it, or are doing it… DID IT. Or are DOING IT!

Those that “have it”, that’s how they got it: They did it. They didn’t wait. They didn’t ask for permission. They didn’t count all of the reasons that it might not work. They didn’t consider how unqualified or unconventional they are, relative to how things are “supposed” to be, or go. They don’t worry about all of the details.

They decide. Then they DO.

And they did it. They did what it took. They showed up. They made the choice. They made the sacrifice. They made the change. They had the discipline. They meant what they said.

They did what they said.

You’ve been thinking too much. Way too much planning and strategizing. Way too much consideration towards what may or may not happen.

Too much worry.

Too much concern.

Too much thinking.

Too much talking.

Too much self-doubt.

Too much procrastination.

Too much hesitation.

Not enough “JUST DO THE SHIT”.

Not enough recognition of the fact that you only get one life in this realm. You’ve been told the way things are “supposed” to go. You’ve been shown that this is the way that things have “always” been. You’ve accepted the status quo’s, the stereotypes, and the situations.

What if that’s just what they, whoeverthefvck “they” is, wants you to believe?

While “they” experiment, explore, and express themselves according to the truly “right” way to do this… by JUST DOING IT!

Stop waiting for someone to “give” you a chance.

Take your chance!

Stop hoping that someone gives you an opportunity.

Create your opportunity.

Stop accepting that it’s just not your turn.

Know that it’s YOUR turn…

To build that brand. To buy that house. To have that career. To visit that place. To live in that country. To own that land. To write that book. To open that restaurant. To create that market. To experience that peace. To know your identity. To repair those traumas. To connect with those people. To be that parent. To have those relationships. To make that much money. To be that person. To live that life. To experience that joy. To embrace that love. To know what it is to be healed, whole, and free. To be SAFE, SECURE, and SIGNIFICANT. To have that fun. To earn that living. To be that consistent. To be that dependable. To be that connected. To be the owner. To be the leader. To be the example.

To do it!

Listen up…

There are a lot of ways to do it. Whatever it is. But the ONLY way that it’ll ever get done is if someone does it.

You should be that somebody.

You should start right now.

What are you going to DO?

-see

Time for You.

You have a right to be you. Whatever and whoever that is. It’s Your decision. It’s Your choice.

No one gets to take that away. No one is entitled to any part of you that gives them any authority or access to do such a thing. Not without your consent.

Even in a society, or a world, that will try to convince you that you need permission, that you need a specific ally, that you need a specific group or organization, that you need a certain religion, or political party, or a team, or a school, a particular status, or belief system, a look, or a car, an outfit, or a hairstyle, or a pair of shoes…

To fit in…

Know that none of that is as important as you are. None of it. None of it means anything. Unless you give it meaning. It’s only value is the value that you determine it has.

That’s what they, whoever they are, is hoping that you never figure out. That you are the commodity. That the true currency is you! That none of that other stuff- because that’s what it is, stuff- is important. It’s actually a distraction. It’s a diversion.

It’s intended to steal your attention away from your ability to recognize what life is really about. It takes you away from acknowledging the real point of this journey. The actual reason that you are here.

You are here to have an experience. You are here to experience the full range and bandwidth of energies that are available to you. You are here for action, for adventure, for activity. Not always towards any specific purpose. Because that is your purpose. Being active in the experience, being present and aware, being available to the moment of now is why you are here.

Someone knows that. And they know that you don’t. They are counting on you not knowing. They’re expecting you to think that your bills are more important. That your mistakes are more important. That your pain is more important. That their politics and their systems and their programs are more important. They’ll have you believe that a job is more important. That everything else is more important.

And they’ll have you trade what is important, you and your time, for those things. For those insignificant and inappropriate things, they’ll have you pressed in between the binds and bondage of unreal and unrealistic commitments. They’ll trick you into feeling that you don’t measure up, that you’re not, that it’s over, that you can’t.

But that they can.

That somehow they have a right and entitlement to power that you don’t. That they have an access to resources and you don’t. That they have ownership and you don’t.

None of that is true. They know that.

They know that you’ve been betrayed by the perceptions and notions that have been presented to you so far.

They have invested their time, resources, and energy into you giving yours away.

You’ve given away your time, your resources, and your energy…

For pain. For hurt. For tragedy. For racism. For classism. For social media. For celebrity. For popularity. For likes and comments. For followers. For tradition. For religions. For corporations. For people. For materials. For a bunch of things…

Because someone told you that those things were important.

You know what is important? What is most important?
You are important.
You are that important!
You are necessary. This place isn’t meant to be suffered, or separated, or stuck. You are supposed to succeed! This place is and will only ever be anything meaningful because of who YOU are! Because you are here. This place needs you.

It needs you to BE and become. It needs you to go and keep going. It needs you to do and keep doing. It needs you to speak and keep speaking. It needs you to live and keep living. It needs you to love and keep loving. It needs you to dream and keep dreaming. It needs you to try and keep trying. It needs you to feel and keep feeling. It needs you to see and keep seeing. It needs you to learn and keep learning. It needs you to want and keep wanting.

It needs you. It needs you to be you.

Whatever you’re going through. Whatever your experience has been or is, experience it. Experience it to the full. Feel all of your feelings. Stay as long as you need to in it, and then move forward. Then create the next experience that you require to continue on your path of experience.

Along the way, you’ll connect with energies and spirits that reflect your light in a way you need to be energized and educated. Those connections will be the most profound moments of your life. Good and bad. Those connections will be the reason that you are who you become. Those connections will be the light that ignite your fire. Those connections will be the force behind your motives and intentions. Those connections will be the reason that you continue on your journey towards the point of it all.

That journey is discovery.

The point is for you to be you.

They know that.
It’s time for you to know it as well.

-see

©️2022 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Feelings…


I no longer have feelings…
my feelings have me
hostage to not having control,
and forced to let things be

My feelings have me convinced 
that I deserve to cry
I don’t deserve the guilt and shame,
I don’t deserve to die

I’ve feelings for my past abide 
was it right that I maintained?
I longed for a numbness to decide
if I should ever change

the hurt and having no remorse
the habits of walking away
the reservations for possibility 
the having of nothing to say

Feelings feel like nothing I’ve felt
and I am fraught with feeling fear
don’t know how to control so much,
that one feeling is clear

I’ve felt for more than otherwise
but I was stupid in my feels
because I ignored my honest truth
in my attempts to let me heal

and my feelings took that control,
convinced me to protest
so I found retreat in darkened states
to hide a heart I could not protect

running was my sound resort 
even neglecting to stop for air 
letting all the pain be breeze behind
I couldn’t feel what wasn’t there 

until it caught up with me and fought
as fast as I’d ever seen
before I’d know anything better
I wouldn’t know what to believe 

a tingle, a touch, a tear, at a time
soon enough I’d be willing to see
that the life I’d spent knowing so sure
was in fact a life nothing like me

this was the truth that had me bound
coerced into facing a mirrors eye
submerged inside of a sterile hope
that nothing was ever worth the try

because feelings have but such a life
and expire like words unmeant to say
Yet here I was pretending to not care
but harboring care in every way

the penultimate threat was love
I distasted her once, or twice before
the pendulum swinging stuck in line 
with a hatred I had for knowing more

I evolved into a mess of sorts
a sensitive version of broken man
in dire need of recompense 
or at least another chance

Because,

I no longer have feelings…
my feelings have me
hostage to not having control,
and forced to let things be.

-see

©️2022 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet





Relationship (Notes)…

The best relationship is the one where y’all can actually RELATE! Like, the two of you KNOW one another because you learned and studied to gain the wisdom of how to treat/deal with/care for/love on/trust in/be trusted by/respect/appreciate/build/build with/acknowledge/honor/protect/be loyal to/be committed to/ be faithful to/understand/challenge/grow/push/motivate/drive/inspire/parent with/share with/be responsible for/regard/consider/plan with/plant with/grow with/succeed with one another. And there is so much more.

The REAL relationships don’t just make it when things are good, when there is money, when there is a crowd, when everyone is watching, when the weather is perfect. The REAL relationships survive the quiet, navigate through and get better through the storm, figure out how to handle and respect the hardships and trials. The REAL relationships communicate through it all. Whether they talk it out, hug it out, cry it out, pray it out, plan it out, THEY WORK IT OUT TOGETHER. These are the relationships that survive. Because they’ve earned being fought for. Because they have value aside of temporal and trivial desires. They matter more. They mean something more TO BOTH PARTNERS. There is more than a sense and notion towards the consistency. They strive to be solid. They acknowledge and understand the peace in that. They are backed by love BUT they are maintained by THE WORK! By the effort! By the energy put forth.

The REAL relationships aren’t always on the same PAGE but they are ALWAYS working towards the same ENDING of the same BOOK. So any disagreement/argument/critique/criticism/issue is always handled with this in mind: We may not always “agree” but WE HAVE AGREED that nothing is too big or to hard for our own selfish desires to humble and acknowledge that we may be wrong or uninformed or unaware of and able to constructively work through. REAL LOVE and REAL RELATIONSHIPS acknowledge this and accept that this is the law that must be abided by. Because there will always be a reason or excuse to walk away or give up but the reason to stay is worth doing just that.

And then know this… THE RIGHT MATE, PARTNER, SPOUSE is absolutely worth surrendering, sacrificing, and settling for. That is what you have to do in order to remove the pass and access that exposes you to temptation or “options” outside of your committed relationship. The Safety/Security/Significance of your union requires and depends on you choosing and standing/staying by YOUR choice. And when two people have this as the mandate of their hearts/minds/souls then what follows is the kind of symbiosis that supports and provides FOREVER BLISS, “happily ever after”, REAL!

It is a process. It is work. It requires your attention, your strength, your compassion, your ALL, your EVERYTHING, from BOTH OF YOU, continuously.

It will work IF YOU DO THE WORK and keep working so that it works out…

Can you RELATE?

-see

©2018 Cornelious “See” Flowers

@seethepoet

attempt at… [POEM]

there is an emptiness
a space left after you
a hole filled with something else’s
just something else’s,
and there is nothing left to do
but feel the void
i escaped assurance
for the sake of paranoid
more questions than your questions
i’m somewhat skeptical
so my mind offers suggestions

i should stop thinking
or start drinking
a vice would suffice
when what’s left won’t get me right
lest i repeat a cycle
practice for the recital
i bet this excites you
that i’m not so well
and you can tell

here’s this image
this unfortunate blemish
this wickedness seeming to exist
and an audacity to remiss
suppose a heart had its own way
unabated by the brain
immune of sorts to possibility
and ignorant to change
but we’d still have been the same
i, part of the problem
you, part of the game

i would do it another way
instantly
juxtaposition in accord with healing,
eventually
somewhat disdain for the result,
specifically
the whole thing could have been,
differently

where is the redemption
does mistake qualify exemption?
maybe there was good reason
validation for an attempt
when all is well upon all is gone
i was there all along
not to leave for the sake of indelible
this thirst is almost edible
absolutely incredible
i am still here,

Where are you…

-see

©2017 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet