This is not Happy “Take/Took care of your kids day”. With that being said this is Father’s Day, for men. To acknowledge and give appreciation to the MEN who are carrying the title and definition of Father to the level that demands and denotes the character, deserves the respect, and brings in the awareness of saluting those past and present who assumed those specific roles. No matter how you attempt, try, or masquerade the role to give “props” to anything other than a BY DEFINITION Father, it is what it is. I, myself, don’t feel as if I am the “best” I can be in my capacity as a father but I think it is a disrespect to honor the mother of my son on Father’s Day. “Mother” is that by itself. You can’t combine mother with another title because Mother means what mother does and mothers do WHATEVER IT TAKES. If that requires that a mother be the only supporting parent then that is what SHE must do. It is all that SHE can do. Father isn’t a costume or context or complex or compromise. Father is a completion that is product of a composition that is not just characterized by men, its character is a man. Father is not an idea, it is an imprint, an impression and there is no invisible “understanding” that allows for us to imply that what is not a father is a father.
Freedom of speech aside, enough is enough. We have to understand that from our “expressions” are our children’s examples and far too pervasive is the blurring and smearing of the lines that set the boundaries and build the foundations that our futures are built on. Little boys who grow up being told that mothers are “fathers too” are more prone to be willingly seduced by the ideas and perversions of influence that offer them safety, security, and significance inside the sanctity of situations and satisfactions outside of the conventions of their natural desires. It weakens the strength. It confuses the competence and structure of the premise. It breaks the hold that is necessary for the reason of being able to become more inclined to be what one is possible to be.
It is not right.
To the women who had to step up and become more than just co-parent or co-partner I salute and recognize that you did. That the situation did not co-operate with what should have been is unfortunate and all too common but it is where you have to work from. No need to bash or belittle or berate the “boy” ( I don’t know everyone’s situation and I’m probably using the term boy only to pacify the females that will read this and require a feeling of being agreed with) that YOU at one time saw fit to be good enough to be a father. (Someone is going to say that, “I never saw him as a father, it just happened) To these I say that you should refer to the reproductive chapter of sex education that talks of what happens when a penis (minus condom) enters a vagina (minus birth control). The point is: You are a mother. Period.
To my brothers, as do I, that have children that are now product of single parent households (Child/Children live with the mom/moms and are seen or heard from via mutual understandings, court orders, or whatever the case) today I have a message for us. Let us take our titles back! From now is where we can do all that we can do to make sure that no one is able to take our roles from us because there is no room to do such if we fill it ourselves. Get in contact with your children. Do what is necessary in YOUR life to make it possible for you to be in theirs. This is not as easy as it may seem I am suggesting, trust me I know but we MUST collectively individually man up to our responsibility (financially, emotionally, mentally, psychologically, and physically). If we take it upon ourselves to be there and are there for the sake of being accountable to the act then the actions from here on out will favor us. No one can take a fathers place! NO ONE! If it is a way, then find it, create it, make it, do what must be done. I understand that we live in a society governed by a system of laws that do more than suggest that we are incompetent deniers of responsibility and monsters for which remedy is severe punishment and exile. We face that and the media driven impressions and institutions that perpetuate these travesties of justice and then we have to navigate on roads that are maintained by stereotypes and statistics and spectators who find it sufficient to support the nonsense as opposed to reevaluating the psychologies and dynamics of the cultures that so suffer from such. And then you have a “baby mama” from hell or who is instructed and influenced by some friend or show or other “baby mama” or a mama (baby mama’s momma) that finds it all too easy to make it hard on you in order to maintain the relationship with a daughter or friend that was lost or in perceived limbo because of you. Yes, I understand you have to deal with all that. And the economy. And your past. And your mess. And your family. And the fact that you don’t or didn’t have a father in your life.
And you got a situation now that you want to work on and you don’t want to lose out on it because of what happened last or long ago. All of it.
Well, Father’s have to deal with all of that. That’s why this day is for them.
Happy FATHER’S Day!
©2013 Cornelious “See” Flowers