You know that saying, “There is someone for everyone”?… That saying that you are likely to present yourself with as you question or attempt to qualify the justification of seeing some particular person with some peculiar other that just doesn’t seem to mesh or measure with your standard of judgement as to what you would deem as an appropriate likeness or mate for said person. Like when you see what you declare is a mess of an individual, all boo’d up and seemingly in the bowels of loves’ grasp, maybe even to your dismay for the reason that you can’t seem to find even a slither of someone to give you the opportunity to have such a thing as that that you desire. We’ve all either heard or delivered it matter-of-factly, or in jest, at the behest of our own egos, in the shadows of the stage and display of what these people tend to show off…
I’m sure you’ve done, seen, or said something to its affect in the randomness of public opinion and view, while either openly or secretly cursing the deity of responsible portion that ordains such blatant outrageousness! You’re not jealous, you’re “just saying”…
You know what I’m talking about, right?
Okay. That is how I’m feeling about this dude, @icejjfish and what his movement (YES, this is a movement), is doing right now.
A few months ago I saw a video on YouTube or somewhere where this cat was covering some song. I don’t even remember the song but I remember him covering it in the worst voice I have ever heard! And it was funny. It was a train wreck. It was a funny train wreck! And he was serious, I think. I was staring at this dudes face and trying to conclude that he was joking but I saw it in his eyes.
You know how it is when you are looking at someone who is with someone that you think is beneath or belittles the brilliance of “what they are or what they have” but in their eyes you see 100% deliberate decision and confidence. You see love and admiration and an arrogance about their intention and affection. You see in them, what you would love someone to see in you.
Yes, well, in his eyes, I saw that seriousness. Either he believes himself, believes in himself, or he is one hell of an actor.
And so I started clicking and watching some of his other covers…
Maxwell “A Woman’s Worth”
Drake “Hold on”
Trey Song “Dive in”
Miguel “Adorn You”
Miley Cyrus “Wrecking Ball”
Hashtag, DEAD. OMG. ROTFLMAO. FOH. DONE.
I could not believe what I had just seen. In my Kevin Hart voice, “Nooooo, I wasn’t ready!”
Is this dude serious!
And then I kept watching and reading the comments. And with every video that I saw, I noticed his confidence and certainty seeming to grow and explode, in comfort though. Like he didn’t notice the boos, just the cheers. He’d say things like, “Yea, everybody been begging me to do this one…” or “I know y’all want this…” or “People keep bugging me about doing this one…”
And then he’d do another one…
And he had some classics like…
Let it Snow
And he had some that he wrote…
On the Floor
I found myself sharing his videos and tagging people in them because I thought this was just hilarious! O-M-G, Hilarious! He was butchering these notes and rhythms. He was slaughtering melodies and runs and harmony beyond devastation. Now I know I can’t sing but this cat makes me sound like a Carolina Crooner. Heck, I need a deal if this cat is deemed good by any standards! I need a tour.
It’s how you feel when you see that person with a “boo” and you ain’t got one. You start to feel a sense of entitlement and unjust unfairness that just causes you to mentally and silently heckle whatever it is that you think you see them having. You start “hatin” as they would say. And you have to admit, you “hatin”.
And so now I’m looking at his shares and likes and repost. And the numbers. Each video averaging at least 50,000 views. Some of them, way more. And I’m still tagging people and sharing the videos.
Because it’s so funny.
This part, not so much.
A couple of weeks ago I was in Atlanta for a couple of performances. I was in town for two days and I got a chance to see some people I hadn’t seen in awhile and do some poetry while I was there. I haven’t been there in about 4 years and it was much needed time away. But there was a moment while I was there that happened and no one even knows about it. It has been holding me in this proverbial “hostage” situation that has been pressing me since I’ve been back. And this morning @icejjfish, by virtue of his latest video, has me feeling some type of way about it.
While visiting homes of two separate friends I had this same moment. On bookshelves, amongst the literary diets of these friends appetites, was, next to each other, inconspicuously, in place as if they belong there, my last two books. Each of these friends had my books on their bookshelves. Right next to works by great speakers and orators, motivators and thespians. Sandwiched in between Deepak Chopra and Gary Chapman, Joel Osteen and Paulo Coelho, was me, Cornelious “See” Flowers. My book of poetry, “Writing with My Eyes” and my book of daily affirmations, “So that You Can”, right there together. In both homes. My words. Every word in those books written by me. All of the hope and prayer and story that it took to produce them was real. And I did it, I’ve written and published books. And these people purchased them. Either from my website or by phone or from me, they brought them and added them to their libraries, where books, that have been written, go. Hmmmph.
The reason that you sometimes get “jealous” when you see “that” person with “that” other person has nothing really, ever, to do with “them”. It’s about you. Because you deserve or you think you deserve what you think you think they have. And you don’t have it. You don’t have the feeling or the benefits that come with having whatever “that” is. And you tend, as a natural tendency and habit of routine, to attempt to devalue the worth of what they have. You do that by them becoming, “… Well there is somebody for everybody”.
And so I see that @icejjfish has a new video. A real video this time. A professional video. With a model/actress co-starring. “Ain’t no topping you”!
Repeat all of the OMG’s, hashtags, and WTH’s…
What’s really crazy is that I’ve been talking to some directors lately about this idea I had to do a video of me performing, just black and white. I couldn’t find the perfect example of what I wanted until the moment this video came on. That’s the look I was going for. and this dude is murdering another song, an original I believe, in the very layout and idea that I was imagining my concept to look.
Here is his latest video: (Watch it when I’m done if you’d like.)
And sure enough, people are spreading this latest video around like wildfire.
What I’m trying to say:
There is an audience for you. There is someone that likes you. There are people who want to and WILL support you. You know how that person “found” that someone that you’re questioning that they found? They FOUND them. Meaning either they were out there or in a place to be found. They were exposed. They were vulnerable to being found. They weren’t hidden and they weren’t hiding. They put themselves out there to be found.
It is so easy to fall into the trap of feeling bad for yourself and about what you don’t have or aren’t doing. And this world makes it so easy to do that. It’s normal and accepted. It’s almost expected, to “hate” on someone more so than it is to love who they are or what they are or who or what they choose or have. And it’s all relative. Me seeing a “no good” brother with a woman who I think he doesn’t deserve is just as well me seeing @icejjfish with an audience and confidence and product that I feel I deserve for reasons that I feel matter more than whatever his reasoning is.
And then I hear myself saying, “You are supposed to be doing this.” and my feelings hurt and my pride suffers and my dreams tend to alter in those moments of “Why”. Not because I don’t feel “good enough” but because I don’t understand the “why” of how I got picked over or not chosen or why there seems to be such an over abundance of emphatic and energetic support and loyalty for someone, someone I don’t even know. Someone who has no idea who I am and has no set intention or devised idea to hurt or alienate me personally. Someone who is just doing, them.
And if you don’t speak up, whose going to hear you?
I have 3 blogs, 2 books, a CD, an amazing talent and I am articulate. I have a good heart, I’m ambitious. I am a dynamic motivator and speaker. I write songs and I direct and produce projects very well. And i do so much more. I have an amazing story, just to this point. And I want to share it with the world!
So today I realized (again) that it is up to me. The difference between those who don’t and those who do is that those who do, do. It’s not a very difficult science. Do something. When I saw those books on those shelves I honestly felt so empowered and necessary. I was proud of me. I was so proud of my story, proud of my journey. Even the mistakes, proudly, even much more the mistakes. I was impressed at myself. Impressed because I know what’s in between those pages. I know the power in those words. I know what it took to write them and what they mean for me and what they mean to and for people who have shared stories and testimonies about what my gift has gifted them. And how I have inspired them.
And today @icejjfish has inspired me. Brother I don’t know you nor where you got your “balls” but #salute! I salute you. I’m proud of you. You’re doing something and I am glad that you have an audience for that. I’m glad that there is growth in your product. Maybe not so much in the singing ability but the presentation is reaching a benchmark for me. And honestly, when I first saw your stuff, I was “hatin”. I shared your videos out of “hate”, I wanted people to laugh with me, at you, because it was funny. You couldn’t be serious. Or so I thought. I was actually thinking that you were a mental patient under the undue influence of some opportunistic person seeking to capitalize on your naivety and profit from your not knowing.
Just the way we see relationships that don’t make sense in our head and we make justifying excuses and reasonings as to why they exist. Stupid reasons like, “She wants him for the money” or “He is with her for the money or because it’s tax time”. Or when we question the integrity of people’s character due to our own ignorant perceptions and discriminatory judgmental ways. The way we pretend that there has to be an ulterior motive or alternate reasoning due to the fact that we can not handle that we were not chosen or noticed or considered. And so it goes with opportunity. And friendship. And talent. And success.
Unless you put yourself out there.
A good friend once told me to, “… Like who likes you”. That is a great philosophy for the message that I am attempting to convey. Because there is someone that likes you. There is an audience that wants you and will follow you. There is a market for you and if you would just put yourself out there and expose your authentic self, you will be celebrated and supported tremendously. And it will pay off. And you will grow and get better and be exposed to the people and resources that ensure that you do more and go further. And you will be able to profit from it in a manner that allows you to do it and become it and make the statement or impression that gives you attention, or credit, or fame, or the popularity that you desire. Or the peace of mind that comes with self-love. Because self-love is required to take the first step. You have to love who you are and be confident in who you are to start. You have to know that you are enough. And that it is your time. And that this can be your moment. And that you belong on those bookshelves, or on that stage or in that car or with that person or at that event or with that deal or with that amount of money or just like @icejjfish belongs where he is, in your lane. And it’s all love!
I’m proud of the kid. And I’m going to keep watching his videos. Out of love. I’m going to share them and keep him in my thoughts and prayers. More importantly though, I’m going to emulate him. I’m going to put myself out there. I’m going to do the shows and videos and projects and etc. I’m going to tell people who I am and what I do. I’m going to promote me!
I’m going to be found because I’ll give myself a chance to be found.
No more “hatin” for me. I love it!
©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers