I find it funny
that you love me
that you care
that you’re there
that you’re aware
of me not loving you
the way you need me to
or need to be
but still believe
in the strangest things
like fairy tales
and make believe
and other things
that make me seem
worth the wait
or worth the chase
or worth the fate
that might be terrible
like only a taste
or a look at a menu
through a window
from a view
that has nothing
absolutely nothing
to do with you
but still you look
from where you are
reminding me with your pain
and showing me scars
that bear my name
your self-inflicted injury
inspired by me
and I find it funny
that you find me beautiful
after all the ugliness
that I put you through
and every other thing
that I made you lose
because you couldn’t do both
love yourself and love me too
or take care of yourself
or responsibility
trying to prove to me
what it’s like
when someone believes
but I didn’t seem to notice
or even see
anything special
about how special you were
to me
instead it just seemed
that I laughed
at how you gasped
and choked
bended
and broke
you worried,
I wrote
you hurt,
I hoped
that you’d forget
and then relent
but instead I’d prepare
and you would pretend
that this would be
something different
something you could find funny
and far from true
like the sad love poems
that I write about you…

-see

©2013 Cornelious “See” Flowers