Tag Archives: Poetry

Todays -see 8/28/22

Psssst…

Can I tell you something?🗣

You probably weren’t “equally yolked” in the first place; You were equally (similarly) shelled.

Let me explain:

Your outsides matched. You sounded the same. Liked comparatively. Appeared familiar. Communicated in language and tone that was easier to comprehend. Had commonality. Related in an identifiable fashion. Possessed and prayed towards conjoined destiny’s. Knew the same people. Had the same, or similar, friends, or job, or story. Or faith, or fears. Shared community.

… On the outside (the shell).

But on the inside… You couldn’t have been 2 more different people. Nothing agreeable. Everything a fight. Each moment a battle. What isn’t a battle is bound silence and the mediocrity of pretending to not have objection or an opinion. Not about control, but a sincere deviance from how that other person purports or pictures themselves to be.

You recognized one another. But you have no idea of how to understand who one another is.

See, when you’re equally shelled, the “other things” can keep you together. Money fixes shells. Clothes costume shells. Makeup and cosmetic work improve shells. Environments can influence shells. People can disguise and hide themselves amongst shells. You can dress up a shell to look like, be like, and blend into other shells.

Sex works, on shells. Cars and houses and trips, impress shells. Jewelry mesmerizes shells. The light, and the dark, affect the shell in certain ways. Music and tv can draw the attention of shells, rather easily. Shells can be camouflaged and manipulated to cooperate with the idealistic requirements of other shells. Shells tend to be collected and paired according to appearance. In cartons per say.

And that’s where you found the last assortment of shells you went through.

On the inside (the yolk)…

Being equally yolked means that you are intrinsically and instinctively thread by the character and value of your spirit-worth. Yolks are your true feelings, purpose, calling, and character. Not just who you are behind the mask, your yolk is who you are without it. Yolks are more than your story. Your yolk is every word and moment and encounter that creates you. Your yolk is your true intention and desire, feeling and fantasy, high and low. Your yolk is not what you say aloud. It is what you’ve not said, been afraid to say, and held in. Your yolk is your innermost collection of thoughts and reflection. Your processes and anecdotes. Your comfort zones and coping mechanisms. Your yolk is where your true identity lives. Where your absolute aspirations and perfect imaginations call home.

Shells are about attention whereas yolks are about intention. Shells are who you are in the crowd; Yolks are what you are when alone. Shells are defined by what someone sees in you. Yolks are characterized by who you see in yourself. Shells are your religion. Yolks are your spirituality.

I’ve heard it so often said that two people, in relationship, should be equally yoked. Growing up in and around the church, I’d always taken that phrase and received it analogously to the context of an egg. I always thought I was hearing the word “yolk” Y-O-L-K. And it made sense to me. Somehow I deduced it into the process of making eggs for breakfast. I would only imagine that it’d make sense to crack similar eggs to make a dish. I took the contrary to mean an extreme: you don’t want to mix fresh eggs with rotten ones. And thus I began psychoanalyzing the process in order to rectify my discomfort with the phrase I’d heard so often. Not once had I actually read the scripture to see that I was thinking of the wrong “yolk” the entire time. That’s probably what my angst and anxiety stemmed from. My spirit was telling me to go and read the words for myself, because I had the wrong idea.

But I didn’t and instead I went years working on my yolk/shell concept.

I was today years old when I read the scripture and saw that the word was “yoke” Y-O-K-E. That threw an entire flag onto my field of play. Because I know what the word “yoke” means. And in context to marriage, or relationship for that matter, I don’t like using that word one bit!

“Yoke” means harness. When I see or hear the word I think of animals and slavery. Not humans and marriage. Even if I try to accept it to represent relationship, I am quickly chastened to the reality that there is someone controlling the yoke. Someone that is not the persons under its control. And I don’t like that even more.

Plus, I don’t think that most people know that the scripture says YOKE, as opposed to YOLK.

But I digress.

And “yolk” it is.

With that, back to my point…

Most times that people say that they are “equally yolked”, they are talking about being equally shelled. “Equally shelled” does not often produce a partnership/relationship/marriage that can withstand the extreme conditions that will undoubtedly encounter your union. And quite honestly, shells can’t withstand all that pressure; They break. Being equally shelled will mean that you are both just as vulnerable and exposed to the fragility and risk that comes with such a thin layer of substance “covering” you.

I hope this is making sense. I pray that you know your yolk. That part that you’re holding beyond what we all see. I hope that you’re looking for someone to match that. After they know their own yolk. And are prepared to break through the facade and disguise to open up truly. Not just someone who is cracked and has some of the goodness seeping out.

Because ofttimes that’s what we see, and get… the seepage. The bits and pieces, the particles, the hints, the potential. The “what they could be”. The ingredients dressed as a finished meal.

And we try to digest that. Try to act like it is feeding us, satiating our appetite, satisfying our palate, soothing our hunger for the humankind.

And we eat that until we can’t pretend anymore. Or until we realize that we have a taste for the real thing. Or a desire for something/someone else. More fulfilling, more suited to our table. More in our budget. More like us. More… equal.

Someone we can yoke.

And who we don’t mind being yoked to.

Ha.

I get that one now, too.

Time to eat.

Smile.

-see

@seethepoet

Justice

the court once had mammies,
now I see my Momma
with all due respect,
Congratulations, Your Honor

We in the room now!
We are in a room, how…
it should be
This day is an expectation,
of what it could be
when all Men
and Women
are seen as,
treated like,
believed in,
the same
March 4, 1789- April 7, 2022,
233+ years and one bit of change,
until today
“But what about…”,
I dare you say!
because there was nothing supreme about it,
just a prolific scheme undoubted
there’d be no blanc supremacy without it

Wait.
this moment is for Mrs. Jackson,
Justice Kentanji Onyika Brown Jackson,
The First Black Woman Justice,
since you’re asking
and if you’re not,
You should
because now every little colored girl knows
that she could
and that she should
Be what-in-the-world-ever-she-chooses
like we’ve waited all this time
for this moment
and we will use it
to add voice and light
to add choice and right
to rejoice and FIGHT

the court once had mammies,
now I see my Momma
With all due respect,
Congratulations, Your Honor.

-see

©️2022 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Feelings…


I no longer have feelings…
my feelings have me
hostage to not having control,
and forced to let things be

My feelings have me convinced
that I deserve to cry
I don’t deserve the guilt and shame,
I don’t deserve to die

I’ve feelings for my past abide
was it right that I maintained?
I longed for a numbness to decide
if I should ever change

the hurt and having no remorse
the habits of walking away
the reservations for possibility
the having of nothing to say

Feelings feel like nothing I’ve felt
and I am fraught with feeling fear
don’t know how to control so much,
that one feeling is clear

I’ve felt for more than otherwise
but I was stupid in my feels
because I ignored my honest truth
in my attempts to let me heal

and my feelings took that control,
convinced me to protest
so I found retreat in darkened states
to hide a heart I could not protect

running was my sound resort
even neglecting to stop for air
letting all the pain be breeze behind
I couldn’t feel what wasn’t there

until it caught up with me and fought
as fast as I’d ever seen
before I’d know anything better
I wouldn’t know what to believe

a tingle, a touch, a tear, at a time
soon enough I’d be willing to see
that the life I’d spent knowing so sure
was in fact a life nothing like me

this was the truth that had me bound
coerced into facing a mirrors eye
submerged inside of a sterile hope
that nothing was ever worth the try

because feelings have but such a life
and expire like words unmeant to say
Yet here I was pretending to not care
but harboring care in every way

the penultimate threat was love
I distasted her once, or twice before
the pendulum swinging stuck in line
with a hatred I had for knowing more

I evolved into a mess of sorts
a sensitive version of broken man
in dire need of recompense
or at least another chance

Because,

I no longer have feelings…
my feelings have me
hostage to not having control,
and forced to let things be.

-see

©️2022 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet





We Still Niggers…


we still niggers
to those that won’t ever see us
no other way
but as descendants
of their heroes slaves

we still niggers
and our freedom’s won’t see light
of better days
just litigated terms
and slogan for campaign

we still niggers
that’ll never be
anything but
and forever nothing to them,
no matter what

we still niggers
sound and symbiotic suffer
living up to the low they expect
surrendering proper,
as their God says we must

we still niggers
not worth the acknowledgment
of our astonishment
being the market and the product
with no actual accomplishment

we still niggers
that accepted being nigger
spelled and pronounced different
like there was really difference,
no nigger, there isn’t.

we still niggers
because founding and forefathers
decided
that in order for them to be,
we couldn’t

we still niggers
that keep looking
for somewhere else to be
some place other than this
and we shouldn’t.

-see

©️2022 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Moments Are…


Moments are meant to be
more than
more than important
well-worded afterthoughts,
afterwards
and sorted
into thoughts and feelings
of grace and gratitude,
conduits of attitude
and appropriate
for smiling
for creating more…

Moments are for love
reserved for lovers
of all things lovable,
especially hurts
because hurts are
what make love real
and real love is a moment
a moment that is most important
and worth every bit
of every cost
of every iota
that has to be tolled
for the story to be told

Moments are real
however unexplainable
no matter how much proof
and still within the realm of
perspective
and the neglect it takes
to be belief
and sustainable
and achieved as good
or bad with lessons attached
and batched into psychosis
of an ever so consistent optimism
of routine,
of constantly going
through

Moments are the worst way
to experience trauma
and to know regret
or let have power
because they’ll devour you
and over time
are hard to forget
and let go of
and gain forgiveness for
or have access to,
once they’ve been missed

Moments are the reason
that we endure
that we take our time
to breathe,
to grieve
for being sure
and overcompensating
indulging in mediocre absolutism’s
this altruistic clarity that designs
defines
our leaves
gives us things
like clarity.

-see

©️2022 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

In the End


yesterday i had no fear
today i have regret
tomorrow shows no remorse
in the end i won’t forget

yesterday i lived
today i think too much
tomorrow doesn’t even matter
in the end was not enough

yesterday i prayed
today i proposed
tomorrow is not promised
in the end i should have chose

yesterday i imagined
today i was hesitant
tomorrow won’t recognize
in the end was no evidence

yesterday i liked
today i loved
tomorrow i will remember
in the end i was

yesterday was important
today means that much more
tomorrow is an opportunity
in the end that might occur

yesterday might have taught
today i surely learned
tomorrow i’ll know better
in the end i had my turn

yesterday was for discovery
today is my decide
tomorrow will be different
in the end i’ll be defined

yesterday i had no fear
today i have regret
tomorrow shows no remorse
in the end i won’t forget

-see

©️2022 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet

Daddy (‘s) Issues


You have always been
the sun to me
my reason being
extraordinary
a destiny
not one bit unclean

I always wanted to
get to know you
follow you
be under you
be around you
have you proud of me

I never saw the empty bottles
nor the empty promises
nor the bags filled with regret
that you hoarded
and never forgot
like you tried to un-remember me

I thought the smell of Kool 100’s
and Old English
and outside
was independence
and unapologetic proudness
and normal

Your silence
and slow walk
and nonconforming energy
and no talk
was matter of fact and course,
and an awe inspiring force

I only saw your big feet
and big hands
and that you were tall,
everything man
an opportune example,
a chance that I could too

You had it easy
with me
You could have said
anything
and I would have believed
that every word was true

because that’s what a father…
means to you.

-see

©️2022 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet


Confident

I’ve said some things

that meant nothing

to anybody but me

but I believed

and thought differently

even being,

quite ridiculously

succinct

consistently

all the while,

pretending

to see

the something that it all means

even when no one thought

that I would be,

anything

or at this point,

eventually

for as much as to be said…

Here’s the thing:

I knew.

-see

©️2022 Cornelious “See” Flowers

@seethepoet

Until We Equal One…


It’s no different
that I listen
when you cry out your eyes

just my system
to pay attention
to what you hold deep down inside

make no mention
the all you’ve been through
made you just the way you are

who wants perfect
it’s not worth it
If it’s hiding all your scars

I know better
than to love you
like you’ve once been loved before

how dare you settle
for another ever
when you desire so much more

coping methods
searching desperate
for a reason to be held

using leverage
just a weapon
that’s the secret that you tell

it’s not meant to lie
this reason being
instead of baring all you can

what is happy
having not been hurt,
and giving one more chance

you want yours
I want you
there is much that must be done

making sure
to do the math
until we equal one.

-see

©️2022 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethpoet







Re-Pair-Ed… [POEM]

i remember wanting you
and nothing else
until you hurt me
now nothing helps
to bring you back to life
from the dead to me you are
and i still love you
but i’m reminded by this scar
that has healed so well
and you’re beautiful as a memory
the ugly things you did
aren’t even worth remembering
but serve as a lesson love leaves
so that i can try again
instead of feeling ways
how about we just not be friends
i’ll still hope for you the best
and even pray you live your truth
i don’t see our time as wasted
your presence gave me proof
that work is more than words
and action must be real
your apologies meant me nothing
but to keep me standing still…

Damn i remember wanting you
i thought that would be enough
until i found true love in myself,
so there is no need for us.

-see

©2018 Cornelious “See” Flowers
@seethepoet