How to “pass” the past. In 12 steps.
Step 11: Order.
Chaos is hectic;
Consistency is habitual.
One of the most profound attributes of individuals or systems that are able to sustain some type of normalcy or routine that promotes healthy recovery and transition after any devastating or destructive event (past) is consistency. Being able to maintain, as much as possible, an environment or routine that is as close or ideal to one that supports an individuals: safety, security, and significance, is one of the, if not the, best ways to ensure survival, success beyond failure, and comfort in the midst of healing or dealing with adversity. People are naturally prepared to deal with the reality and tragedy of life’s losses, it is the loss of all things -once associated with a particular life- being ripped away, hidden, stolen, or kept silent, or secret, that manipulates and mitigates the mediocrity that forms and transforms the identity and purpose of a person. Any human, but especially children, when torn from the absoluteness and foundation of a system once known and inhabited, to the protection and productivity of that persons well being, will deviate ridiculously from the plan or positivity that once held form or should be innate, to their psyche and practice.
That is why YOU must find order, have order, or allow order, to supplant the void that is the hole that separates YOU from achieving the objective of moving on, moving up, or moving forward.
the arrangement or disposition of people or things in relation to each other according to a particular sequence, pattern, or method.
synonyms: sequence, arrangement, organization, disposition, system, series, succession;
a state in which everything is in its correct or appropriate place.
synonyms: tidiness, neatness, orderliness, organization, method, system;
a state in which the laws and rules regulating the public behavior of members of a community are observed and authority is obeyed.
synonyms: peace, control, law (and order), lawfulness, discipline, calm, (peace and) quiet, peacefulness, peaceableness
the overall state or condition of something.
synonyms: condition, state, repair, shape More
a particular social, political, or economic system.
give an authoritative direction or instruction to do something.
“… a state in which everything is in its correct or appropriate place.
synonyms: tidiness, neatness, orderliness, organization, method, system;…”
That determines it all! If YOU gauge, study or document the success/failure of individuals who endured significant abuse, trauma, tragedy, challenge, or trouble, at any given time and observe the resulting outcomes in the scope of how “ordered” their grieving process, therapy, or subsequent lives were, YOU will ascertain, to a high degree of certainty the majority of the time that the more structured and disciplined correcting or communicating the issue was the likelihood of a “successful” outcome. Families that are torn apart or broken in loss, kids that are alienated or abandoned in systems, individuals who are ostracized by events or experiences, people who make catastrophic mistakes, and anyone who falls victim to the lottery of unjust luck that befalls any of us at some point, all suffer far more of an adverse fate when not afforded coping and healing processes that are structured or familiar to what they may know or need. Far too often a change, of the tragic variety, changes everything and everyone and the support systems that should implant the foundation and/or rehabilitation for those involved lies inert in the face of responsibility or accountability to what is possible. And instead of fostering the environment and reinforcement necessary to allow for thorough and complete closure or resolution, wounds are kept open, unaddressed, and left to hurt indefinitely.
There must be a system put in place for YOU to adjust and acclimate to the changes that YOUR past has subjected upon YOU. There needs to be order, discipline, structure, and support, of a communal effort, so that the opportunity to thrive and triumph is made known and available. Methods and organization will help develop good and healthy habits and routines that create attitudes and energy that promote YOU to functioning beyond the desperation or depression that many a past decide.
Order creates normalcy. Order creates ethic. Order creates character. Order creates esteem and value. The facts are that the past may have played a substantial role in either depriving YOU or distracting YOU from the destiny that YOU have long been “stuck” in. Developing and maintaining effective order in YOUR process and following through with the continuous activity of working through the necessary elements of building confidence and strength gains YOU the ability of focus and confidence that connects YOU back to, or into, the peace YOU ultimately seek.
a state of confusion.
synonyms: untidiness, disorderliness, mess, disarray, chaos, confusion;
the disruption of peaceful and law-abiding behavior.
synonyms: unrest, disturbance, disruption, upheaval, turmoil, mayhem, pandemonium;
a disruption of normal physical or mental functions; a disease or abnormal condition.
plural noun: disorders
synonyms: disease, infection, complaint, condition, affliction, malady, sickness, illness, ailment, infirmity, irregularity
disrupt the systematic functioning or neat arrangement of.
disrupt the healthy or normal functioning of.
synonyms: dysfunctional, disturbed, unsettled, unbalanced, upset
Any of that sound like YOU?
That is what dis-order does. Not having order causes chaos and destruction and actual disorder(s), like dis-ease(s), and severe disfunction. The lack of order causes confusion and peril, heartbreak and heart attack. Where there is no order there is surely frustration and anger, bitterness and depression, especially when dealing or not dealing with the past!
And it is not easy to obtain order when the environment or people that YOU are surrounded by don’t operate nor function orderly or to the benefit of YOUR best interest or well being. Especially when that environment or those people in the environment are catalyst or culprit to whatever the cause of YOUR hurt or pain.
So YOU have to create it. YOU have to maintain it. YOU have to example it!
YOU have to find or seek out a plan and process that works for YOU. YOU have to try some things. YOU have to open YOURSELF up to being healed, being restored, being helped. YOU have to begin! YOU have to be willing to be vulnerable, again, which YOU may identify as what caused YOU such grief in the first place. YOU have to acknowledge the (YOUR) lack of order and address it. YOU may have to remove YOURSELF once YOU have identified it. YOU have to stop it!
YOU can “pass” YOUR past, in order, and YOU will need order to do so!
©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers
How to “pass” the past. In 12 steps.
Step 5: Study.
“Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it.”
“Those unable to catalog the past are doomed to repeat it.”
“Those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it.”
“He who doesn’t understand history is doomed to repeat it.”
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”
“Learn from history or you’re doomed to repeat it.”
“He who forgets the past is doomed to repeat it.”
“Those who don’t know their history are doomed to repeat it. You have to expose who you are so that you can determine what you need to become.”
Cynthia A. Patterson
The above is a quote that I have heard so many times over my life span. I don’t know who was the first one to pen these words or which is a variation of the original but when I went to research it I found numerous authors and so I shared a few of them. They all basically say the same thing, just different wording. I share them as a reminder or evidence that many people identify with this as an issue and evidently it has been an issue since the first moment passed and became a “past”.
Study YOUR past!
One of the reasons that the past is so often able to control and condemn us by its power is because we fail to understand the particulars of it. We don’t know why someone did something or why something happened or what made us the target or what we did to deserve it or where the people were to protect us or the answers to all of the other questions that haunt our recollections and memories of our histories. And those questions pervade our thoughts and become responsible for creating the conditions and circumstances that provoke us to hurt because of them. Those questions and the lack of resolution or closure come together to create the cultures of silence and secrecy that torment us in our present lives. We mire in the controversies of our beginnings and become slaves to the repeated mess that is constructed. And we carry and share that baggage boldly, unknowingly into our current presents and nows and whatever our futures are to be. Carrying on the trauma and tragedy to the demise of relationships and friendships, and acquaintances, alike. We destroy our lives in the shadows of our darkest moments, and then we repeat them for lack of acknowledging or understanding them. And they become the learned behaviors that we teach and repeat in our actions and language. They become our traditions and routines and legacies.
Or we can study them.
Study YOUR past. I am not ascribing that YOU become a student of YOUR past, YOU were already a student of it. and YOU sat in that class, YOU came early, YOU had detention, YOU took summer course in that class. I don’t recommend that YOU continue to subject YOURSELF to that anymore. But now YOU must review for the “test”, the one YOU must “pass” in order to get to the next level. It’s time to go over what YOU learned, why YOU had to learn it, and what it means for YOU to know it.
Studying in this sense is done by YOU taking note of what happened. YOU must admit that it happened. YOU must acknowledge that it happened. YOU don’t have to know why it happened, some “whys” YOU will never know and trying to figure them out may only lead to more rejection, more repetition, and more remembering them in a way that causes YOU more pain. So “why” doesn’t matter, the fact is that it happened, let’s now do something so that it doesn’t have to happen again!
Studying the past is also where YOU examine YOUR own behaviors and characteristics, the good and the bad ones, in order to gain a perspective on just how little or how much things, people, and events, of YOUR specific past have affected or infected or effected YOU. Study YOUR patterns and habits. Study YOUR routines. Study YOUR words and feelings. Study how YOU handle, mishandle, or choose not to handle issues. Study YOUR reaction to triggers like places, people, music, things, ideas, and events, that cause YOU to revert or regress to old and unhealthy ways of expressing or not expressing YOURSELF. Study YOUR moments. When YOU have felt terrible, take note of the atmosphere, the surroundings, the conditions, the audience, the places, and the reasons. When YOU felt extremely well or better enough to declare YOURSELF “okay”, take note of these same variables. Seek and search to reveal the common or uncommon denominators and analyze and observe what are YOUR risk factors. Pay attention to the similarities or differences that certain of these factors produce in or around YOU. It is very healthy and recommended that YOU have someone who YOU identify with in this process. An accountability partner is great. Licensed professionals, like therapist or counselors are great observers and are equipped with the ability to help YOU recognize these things with an unbiased eye and perspective. The professional may be more ideal for YOU if, like myself, YOU have or had severe trust issues. Because the vulnerability that is required in this step may often push YOU to run back to the ugly habits of guilt and shame that are the catalyst for keeping our “past” or the things that we keep alive from our past, alive. So having a therapist or counselor to help YOU “study” is like having a tutor. The more preparation the better. And sometimes it’s hard to study with “friends”.
Studying takes time too. Because YOU probably don’t have, in this context, great study habits. What YOU may have is superb memorization skills. YOU probably excel at visual, kinesthetic learning. YOU may or may not be good at comprehending which information to hold onto or which data to disregard. And YOU will have to figure that out. YOU will have to realize which parts of the past YOU study are necessary to remember and which parts are best forgotten. YOU must gain reference by way of opening YOURSELF up to the reality that YOU went through what YOU went through for the sake of benefiting someone, YOU, of course, and someone else who is suffering and needs YOUR answers. Once YOU pass the test, YOU can pass on the notes, YOU can pass on the answers, YOU can teach the class!
The alternative is just as it was in school. Either YOU pass the class or YOU flunk out. Or YOU repeat it. YOUR past is a class. YOU should only have to take it once.
©Cornelious “See” Flowers
How to “pass” the past. In 12 steps.
Step 3: Tell.
Now, run and tell that!
YOU might be thinking, “… But YOU said in Step 2 that I could tear up the facts and that this was no confession!” Yes, I said that. And in regards to the facts, that is exactly what I meant. YOU have earned the right and respect to tell YOUR STORY and YOUR FACTS at YOUR PACE, in YOUR TIME. This “tell” is about what happens after that. As we have established, the facts are the facts, and there is no changing that they are true, at least about our past. YOU will eventually be able to tell them with confidence and in boldness, but until then, YOU don’t have to pressure YOURSELF to reveal or release them in a way that makes YOU substantially more uncomfortable. Just always remember though, there is nothing that we can do about what actually “happened”, it factually happened. And telling in that sense could serve us well in not just solving our own issues, but helping or preventing such in the lives of our family, of our friends, of our world!
This is time to give YOUR side. YOUR “other” side. The side of YOU that the facts don’t explain. It is time to tell YOUR story. YOUR story that defines YOU or redefines YOU. YOUR story that vindicates and verifies the validity of YOUR own truth. This isn’t about confessing or complaining, this is about being convinced and being confirmed in the fact that YOU are who YOU are and that YOU are willing and ready to move forward. This “tell” is not about accepting or assigning responsibility, this step is about accountability. This step is about making the announcement, to YOUR past, to YOUR future, and everywhere in between that YOU are worthy of being someone who experiences and enjoys the NOW that is readily and rightfully available to YOU. This is where YOU tell YOURSELF that YOU ARE, that YOU CAN, and that YOU WILL, be whatever or whoever or wherever YOU choose to, from here on out!
Tell YOUR past to stay put. Tell YOUR present to stay positive. Tell YOUR future to stay the course. The “tell” step is about affirmation and acclimation to YOUR own self. One of the main concerns and issues with the past is that facts of the past cause so much shame and guilt to press on our minds and bodies and that element is most often hidden or accommodated through secrecy and silence. YOU may not be in a place, or position, or comfort, enough to speak on the bad that happened to or because of YOU, but YOU can speak up about the good that YOU do want and that YOU do deserve and that YOU WILL ACCEPT and ASPIRE toward YOUR future, from now. YOU get to speak life into YOUR new “facts”. YOU get to “Say Something”. YOU have to SAY SOMETHING!
Depending on the severity or level of YOUR own personal baggage and how it has or was holding YOU back, YOU need to “unpack” some things. Clearing YOUR mind is a novel and aspiring suggestion, acknowledgement is a vital component, but nature and “life” always have their way of reminding or reverting us back to places or people or problems of the past. And just as easily as YOU emptied YOUR thoughts can they be renewed or refilled to the brim of default or denial. And so YOU have to “lose” some of those bags in order to make room for what is next. I suggest writing letters. Write letters to YOURSELF about the past, about YOUR hurts. Then write letters to the people that YOU can reach or remember that hurt YOU. Write letters of forgiveness and apology. Write letters of acknowledgement. These letters can be sent out at a later date or appropriately used as journals. At the early stages of YOU “passing” the past, YOU have to deal with YOU and so it is not imminently necessary to subject YOURSELF to encounters that are not healthy or mediated properly, protecting YOU from further distancing YOURSELF from the awesome, fantastic, wholesome, trustworthy, and authentic person that YOU are. Along the way of going forward YOU are going to encounter the people that were specific to YOUR problems, or YOUR pains, or YOUR past, and those moments and instances will be undoubtedly difficult and uncomfortable if YOU are caught off-guard or by surprise and not prepared for facing them. But if YOU have already addressed the issue for YOURSELF, even if it is by letters that YOU wrote to YOURSELF, it will serve YOU quite effective in the moment of that occurrence. So for right now YOU can keep that part of it, the letters, if need be, to YOURSELF.
“Telling”, in this step is also about trust. Because this step is about accountability YOU must make a concerted and conscious effort to fulfill the space in YOUR life that was made empty by silence or secrecy, both habits and traditions that are all too common in the devastating aftermaths that our life disasters leave behind. So YOU do need to find someone, be it professional or personal, that YOU can establish trust in and be comfortable and confident enough with to “tell” YOUR whole story to. Counselors and therapists are perfect for this assignment. True friendships are even better because they have an access to YOU that the professional sector may never achieve. But the truth is that YOU have to let it out, keeping it to YOURSELF will eventually do more damage than YOU can afford to recover from.
As children we are told or taught that “tattling” is a bad idea. Tattling, a reference to “telling on someone”, was usually our way of expressing when we felt wronged. The adults or more responsible individuals around would dissuade us from that because it was, to their insistence, us being selfish or “naggy” or immature. And so they shamed us into developing habits of keeping our feelings and issues, things that personally affected us, large and small, to ourselves. As a child one of the worse things YOU could be was to be known as a “tattletale” or “telltale”. And the idea of it being a bad thing seems to instinctively and inherently take root in the dialogue that we learn in our earliest of years. Being a tattletale was the worst YOU could do, according to YOUR family, according to YOUR friends, and even strangers knew the rule. And so it developed into keeping secrets and remaining silent. It was reinforced by ideas and notions like “what goes on in this house stays in this house”. Eventually this manner of thought turns into us not being able to express ourselves aside of if we hurt or perceive harm. And not telling on someone else blurs the borderlines of being able to speak about our own truths and facts. And it is misconstrued as being strong to not have to “tell everything” but it weakens us and it creates the atmospheres and environments that breed the perpetuation of disastrous cycles and stigmas. It turns into our modern day “no snitching” culture. YOU know where that has gotten us.
All from not “telling”.
So tell! Speak out. Speak up. And when the time comes, speak on the facts that are YOURS to speak on. Because the truth is that YOU are not the only one that YOU are speaking for. And there is someone dealing with issues the same or very similar to YOURS, they need YOU to say something! They need to pass their own past. YOU could help them do that.
©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers
How to “pass” the past. In 12 steps.
Step 2: ACKNOWLEDGE.
The first thing that we had to do in step 1 was to change our mind or clear out our thoughts. We had/have to clear our imaginations and mental slates of all of the cluttering debris, be it emotional, psychological, mental, spiritual, or just habitual ideas and/or memories that we identify ourselves by, for the purposes of being able to begin the work that is necessary to complete, start to finish, what we have set out to accomplish. We do that, clearing our minds, by utilizing forms of therapy such as Meditation, Observation, Visualization, and Experimenting (M.O.V.E), the formula I discussed in step 1. However long that it takes to “clear” or change YOUR mind is up to YOU. But once YOU are confident enough to desire change or find YOURSELF in a place that renders change YOUR only choice, YOU will definitely be ready. When “enough” is truly “enough”, YOU will do “enough” to M.O.V.E!
And once YOU have done it, time for the next step. It is time to ACKNOWLEDGE, all of it!
Sounds crazy doesn’t it? Sounds a little counter-productive. Sounds like YOU are going backwards. I know. I totally understand. I completely understand! But “acknowledging” is not remembering, or dwelling, or wallowing in, or repeating, or triggering, the past. Acknowledging is YOU being strong and bold enough to face who YOU are. And the truth is that everything that YOU have been through, everything YOU have done, everything that was done to YOU, all served to create who YOU are right now. And who YOU become after this is because of that person, the person that YOU are. So “acknowledging” is where YOU get to take back or take possession of YOURSELF. When YOU acknowledge who and what YOU are then YOU are able to identify and define who YOU want that person to be. When YOU acknowledge YOUR awareness and presence in YOUR current space YOU then give YOURSELF the ability to measure and weigh the significance or insignificance of things, people, and “stuff”, that matter to YOU. By acknowledging who and where YOU are YOU also get to identify YOUR standards and REQUIREMENTS as it relates to how and what YOU do going forward. Once YOU acknowledge that YOU haven’t been loved or that YOU don’t trust or that YOU haven’t experienced joy, then YOU can recognize those things when they happen again. Acknowledgment stops the routine of access that the past has on YOU and YOUR life.
Acknowledgement is where YOU lay out the facts. The facts are indisputable. The facts, particularly those of the past, do not change. The facts happened. And it is very easy to believe or not believe in ourselves because of the “facts”. Because the facts, especially when used to criticize or condemn us, have the ability to beat us up and down with the reality of ourselves, especially our old selves. That creates the idea and impression that we are who we were and that leaves us susceptible to the repetition of being whoever the facts say that we “were”. And the facts always seem to know how to bring up the worst about us at the “best” time. The facts have every right to us because the facts are us, and no fact is wrong for being the fact that it is. The fact is always true about the past, but facts can lie about YOUR future. And that truth is a fact, solely up to YOU!
I don’t really find much benefit in reflecting on the past. Reflecting, for me seems to trigger a certain feeling of ownership and I don’t want to be affiliated with my past in that capacity. I’d like to be a former owner. I can be proud of that. Yes, I used to own that. I sold it, to the past. I brought a future!
Here is my process for how to ACKNOWLEDGE the facts about YOU. This is what I did, this is how I believe I had to acknowledge who and what I was, in order to keep or change whatever I need/needed to:
Part 1- Write down the facts about YOU. Write as much as YOU can remember. YOU don’t have to tarry over details and explaining the entirety of every experience or event but write down enough so that YOU recall that fact. Write the hurts, the pains, the feelings, the emotions, the mistakes, the issues, the secrets, the habits, the challenges. Write down the facts. If YOU did something, write that. If someone did something to YOU and it is a fact that has helped create the past that YOU are trying to move beyond, write that. If YOU hurt someone, write that. Write the sentence in full, like “I __________ (what YOU did) to or from or about ___________ (the persons name)”. Write the emotions or feelings that described YOU. Write as many facts as YOU can remember. DO NOT LEAVE ANYTHING OUT! I’m not going to tell YOU to mail it or share it with anyone so don’t leave something out fearing being revealed or discovered. This isn’t a confession letter. YOU can burn or shred it after this exercise. But, WRITE EVERY “BAD” FACT YOU KNOW ABOUT YOU!
Part 2- Go to the bathroom or anyplace with a mirror where YOU can have a moment of uninterrupted privacy. (I had to do this at 3 o’clock in the morning to ensure that no one disrupted me.) Take what YOU have written with YOU to that mirror. Now read it to YOU. One sentence at a time, looking up at YOURSELF after every fact. For as long as it takes. Acknowledge every fact about YOU.
The facts are hard to hear. They are very hard to hear. And it is hard to hear them about YOU. It is hard to admit them. It is hard to acknowledge them. Some of the facts are very hard to understand. And there are some facts that make YOU remember other facts and realities that YOU were completely unable to control or prevent. And that makes YOU feel shame and guilt and hurt. It makes YOU feel helpless. But keep going. Some of the facts happened when YOU were a child. Some of the facts happened because YOU were not capable or able to avoid them. Some of the facts YOU are totally and completely responsible for. Some of the facts were definitely preventable and avoidable but YOU did them or were a part of them. And now they are the facts. Now they are YOUR past. As YOU read them, don’t try to rationalize or explain them to YOURSELF. Do not try to justify or make excuses while YOU read them. DO NOT FEEL ASHAMED OR GUILTY WHILE YOU ARE READING THEM. Just acknowledge them. Acknowledge that they happened. Acknowledge that YOU are who those facts say that YOU were. So if those facts say that YOU were molested, raped, abused, abandoned, ridiculed, bullied, threatened, hurt, harmed, hated, … ACKNOWLEDGE THAT! If the facts say that YOU lied, stole, hurt, manipulated, cheated, abandoned, avoided, … ACKNOWLEDGE THAT! Acknowledge YOUR facts. Once YOU have acknowledged them, it is hard for someone else to announce them in a manner that breaks or beats YOU down for their validity. Now that YOU are able to say them about YOU, what anyone else says is just that, what they say.
Before YOU walk away from the mirror say this:
I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR NOW. I have the right and responsibility to live, NOW! I give myself the right and the freedom and the choice to be healed, to be forgiven, to be trusted, to be loved, to be proud, to be bold, to be sure, to be supported, to be helped, to be at peace, to be happy, to be cared for, to be cared about, to be understood, to be free. I deserve to be free. I deserve a new truth. I deserve a chance and I give myself that chance, NOW!
Now tear that paper (of YOUR facts) up or burn it or drown it or shred it or destroy it in whichever manner that is accessible to YOU at that moment. It doesn’t have to be ceremonial, just certainly. Just don’t put them away, and DO NOT HIDE THEM. YOU need to get rid of them for this exercise of the process to be successful. YOU have acknowledged YOUR facts, and then leave them as they are, YOU can move on now.
It’s over, the facts are out. The facts happened. YOU don’t have to be proud of them, just proud of YOURSELF for having come through them. The real fact is that whatever it is or was that happened to YOU, it did not end YOU. It may have done a lot of things but it did not end YOU. And because it is not YOUR “end”, there is still an opportunity to continue, go, do, and become. Despite the facts. In spite of the facts. Some good will come of and to YOU entirely BECAUSE OF THOSE FACTS! And don’t worry about reflecting on them or remembering them in a negative way, “people” are going to do that for YOU. People are going to try to remind YOU of YOUR facts. People are going to try to restrict or redirect or refuse YOU because of YOUR facts. So they will come up again, but you’ve acknowledged them and for that reason, they can’t break you or beat you up like they once did. In fact they will help YOU as YOU decide and determine what to do, what to say, what to be. Because those “facts” showed YOU what YOU did, what YOU said, what YOU were… And YOU ARE NOT THAT ANYMORE! Not if YOU don’t want to be.
The truth is that YOU get to produce new facts. YOU get to make new facts. YOU get to move on, regardless of those facts. The past is a fact. The future is whatever YOU decide it to be. Acknowledge that.
©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers
YOU can’t stop the rain,
What YOU can do…
Since 1960 the global weather system and it’s data has been accumulated, collected, and processed by satellites positioned in outer space. These satellites, geostationary and polar orbiting, are the means by which we receive and are able to dictate the weather systems information in order to make efficient forecast and planning for impending weather activity. This is how the weatherman or weatherwoman gets the forecast that some of us have come to depend on in order to navigate our days, in the present, and to come. The images and other data that these satellites gather provide life-saving and enhancing reference for people across the entire landscape of earth. Those satellites protect us, prepare us, and provide us, with priceless information and data for which we are undoubtedly appreciative.
Why I told you that…
If YOU stand back far enough, if YOU have broad enough of a perspective, YOU can figure this thing out!
In a nutshell, those satellites take pictures and from those pictures they are able to calculate distance, speed, radius, temperature, and timing, among other relevant observational details that they can then process into what becomes the 2-3 minute segment on our news program or on our radios or, due to technological advancement, on our phones and computers. It’s no phenomenon that they come up with this info, it is practiced and prepared, and positioned, all accordingly, to serve the purpose that it does. They can, with a quite definite accuracy, easily assume and appropriately announce what is about to come, and thus serve us notice and notification so that we can make the proper adjustments and accommodations, in order to approach the conditions.
Before those satellites came into existence, information was processed by accumulated data and geological reference and patterned historical reference. Before that it was by observing the landscapes and the people of a particular area. At some point early on, it was just a guessing game. I can imagine that long ago YOU could only prepare for what YOU saw on the horizon. So a slow storm gave YOU time to adjust. A tornado probably sur…
YOU didn’t even get a chance to finish the sentence. Weather events that were disastrous or catastrophic probably came in without much by way of warning and thus no preparation and the resulting tragedy and chaos was able to wipe out communities and areas that we can not even imagine. Even with all of the technology and information that we have today, there are still weather events that devastate and decimate areas of earth to our surprise and surrender. And that’s with billions of dollars worth of scientific knowledge and resource available. So the moral for that is that things are going to happen. And YOU cannot prepare for everything. But those storms don’t come everyday.
It is going to rain though…
Where is YOUR “satellite”?
YOU need to STEP BACK. YOU need to step back from it. YOU need to step away. What YOU are dealing with, what YOU are going through, what YOU are suffering from… These are all YOUR “storms”. The thing about weather is that it falls in seasons. Living in Chicago is a great example of the seasonal pattern of weather. In each season there is distinct weather topography that is so amazingly profound in its relevance to nature and the systems of life. The planning, plotting, and preparation that accompany this seasonal weather justifies and juxtaposes, in its own right, the justices of what nature is. Seasons provide balance. Storms provide balance. YOUR mistakes provide a balance.
It is all a matter of perspective. Sometimes YOU just need to move. Sometimes YOU just need to leave. Sometimes YOU just need to stand still. Sometimes YOU just need to ask for help. Sometimes YOU just need to walk alone. Sometimes YOU just need to make an adjustment. YOU cannot stop the rain (I will use rain as a metaphor for conditions in YOUR life) from coming down. But sometimes all YOU need is an umbrella. Sometimes YOU might need to wear some rain gear. Sometimes YOU need to find shelter. Sometimes YOU need to go in the opposite direction. Sometimes YOU need to find a different place to live. Sometimes the rain in YOUR life is a direct result of the atmosphere and conditions created around YOU because of the people or places around YOU! And the only thing that YOU are able to prepare for is what YOU can see coming. So the surprise storm, the unexpected event, the “never could happen” hurricane, is probably going to destroy YOU.
Or YOU could be warned. By YOU.
The first satellite that worked effectively and was considered to be a success in outer space was named TIROS-1. That satellite became the foundation for the earth observation satellite programs and opened up the door for future projects and successes. The word TIROS means “a beginner in learning something”. How appropriate. Today YOU need to launch YOUR “TIROS”. It is time for YOU to launch the satellite or perspective that teaches YOU who YOU are. YOU need to step back, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically, so that YOU can gather some much needed data about YOU. YOU have patterns and seasons and systems that have become YOUR habits, routines, and traditions. Those things are what setup the atmospheres and conditions that are YOUR life. It is because of these factors that YOU are likely and more than likely to encounter certain and particular “situations” that after awhile become “seasons” to and for YOU.
And it just seems to keep on “raining”…
Well then, YOU get to analyze the data that YOU collect and then plan. YOU get to strategize and plot and adjust. Once YOU get the info YOU need, YOU get to utilize the data in order to process the information and capitalize on the beauty of knowing. YOUR history is a great thing here, it helps predict YOUR patterns and distinguishing characteristics. From YOUR “satellite” view YOU can much better analyze and appropriate the proper decision making and analysis going forward.
And it feels a lot better being in the rain when YOU knew that it was coming.
Because it’s coming… And YOU can enjoy whatever the “weather” is because YOU know what’s coming… And YOU will be ready for it!
©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers
It was wrong;
It was YOUR right.
The direction YOU took.
YOU made that choice. No matter whatever YOUR reasoning or recourse was, it was a decision that YOU made. YOU can come up with all types and kinds of excuses or facts to justify, from YOUR position, why YOU did whatever it was that YOU did but the truth is that YOU did it. So the decision that hurt someone or harmed someone or betrayed or manipulated or took advantage of or misled or completely damaged or destroyed someone, whether YOU intended to or not, was YOUR fault. YOU are responsible. YOU made that happen. It was YOUR lies or mistruths. It was YOUR immaturity. It was YOUR irresponsibility. It was YOUR reaction to whatever happened that led to or up to whatever the circumstances that eventually took place. It was YOUR idea. It was YOUR plan. It was YOUR mistake. Whether it was YOUR intent or not is a matter only YOU are sure to know, but it is irrelevant, because the fact is that whatever it was that happened, did, and YOU are the reason it did.
And it may not have been a “someone” that YOU hurt. What happened some time ago may have been where YOU destroyed “YOU”. YOU may be the person YOU hurt or harmed or misled. YOU might be the one that was delayed or distracted because of a decision that changed everything. Maybe someone else, or people, were involved but maybe they got over it. May be that they expected it. Expected it of people or just of life, or maybe they expected it of YOU. So maybe the person that YOU think YOU setback or set up was able to set aside the differences and instead set themselves on the right pace and path to move on. Maybe they forgave YOU or they forgot YOU. Maybe they are grateful to YOU because they learned a vicious but valuable lesson. Maybe they have long since realized that there was nothing different or deliberate that they could have done in order to avoid whatever transpired. So maybe they got over it. May be that they kept moving. May be that YOU are the one stuck.
And YOU are not the only one… YOU-ARE-NOT-ALONE!
(YOU are definitely not alone.)
We are all different. Like really different. Not just that we look different or sound different or come from different places. More than that we dress different and have different taste, likes and dislikes, and different attitudes, demeanors, and dispositions. We are raised differently and exposed to different cultures and religions and faiths and beliefs and ideologies. We have different attitudes and feelings and we interpret our surroundings differently according to our own individual differences. Even in our similarities we are extremely different. Siblings, for example, raised in the same environment, for the exact period of time, with the same exposure to as many similarities as possible, are still going to have differences. We think differently. We act differently.
YOU have YOUR own path. YOU will discover YOUR way on YOUR own journey. As much as YOU may want or be willing to follow after an expression or example of someone else’s, YOU are going to make YOUR way, YOUR way. And that way, is going to be different. YOU have to own that. YOU have to stand up to that. YOU have to recognize and realize what comes with that and YOU have to deal with it. Before YOU are ever able to “be” it.
About the way YOU went…
YOU are entitled to YOU and the truth is that YOU are not always going to get it right. YOU are not always going to do the right thing at the right time for the right result. YOU will not always say or do the right things that please people and satisfy the wants and/or needs of everyone. YOU are not going to be perfect. Not if perfect, for you, means flawless or without error or without trouble or without mistake. YOU are never going to meet the expectations of that kind of perfection. And it is YOUR right to not be. YOU get to be normal, and let me tell YOU, perfect is not the norm. No, the perfection that is normality is found in the differences. And those differences include some things that would make whatever YOU did or think YOU did, seem like nothing, absolutely nothing, in comparison to what other people go through. Because the truth is that some of those “other” people didn’t make it. And YOU did. And YOU get to accept that. And YOU get to apologize. And YOU get to assume responsibility. And YOU get to move on. Even if “moving on” means that YOU get to leave who YOU once were for who YOU now are, for who YOU are destined to be. And YOU get to start over. Everyday. YOU get to right the wrongs. Fine tune the idiosyncrasies. Adjust the imbalances. Correct the mistakes. Change the way YOU are done.
And no matter how wrong it was, YOU are the difference, YOU are different, and YOU get to make it right!
©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers
There is such a thing as anything that does something towards getting YOU everything that YOU need in order to be or do whatever thing or things necessary for YOU to have the one thing that YOU are after.
That “thing” that YOU are.
Something happened to YOU. Or something didn’t happen for YOU. Something got in YOUR way. YOU let something stop YOU. YOU were waiting on/for something. Something was supposed to produce something for YOU that would/could/should have made all the difference in the world.
Something in YOU…
Time is unchanging. The way we measure it changes. What we call it changes. How we use or utilize it is ever-changing. But time does not change. So in respect to the fact that we all have possession of the exact same amount of time in any given present that we are alive, the fact is that there is no difference in time to us. So, time is not the thing.
Information is available. There is so much information available. Information, but for the fact that time is the bookend to all existence, would be the most abundant resource available. The information that YOU need definitely exists. With the Internet as it is currently, access to information is more readily and tangibly possible. YOU can get the information. So, information is not the thing.
Money. The way the world works. The means. The sum of the equation that is [time + information =]. The resource that gets most jobs done. The intrinsic value of our “value” system. As the Wu-Tang Clan so notably put it, The C.R.E.A.M, Cash Rules Everything Around Me. Yes, the money! Well, truth is that there is a lot of money out there. And there are millions of ways to get it. There are hustles and careers alike. At the same time, money is just paper or metal. Sometimes it’s just digits on paper or on a screen or in a system. It doesn’t really exist. It’s value is determined according to our perception and/or respect of it. The truth is that the same thing that might cost YOU a billion dollars to get, can be just as well given to YOU for free. So, the fact is, money is not the thing.
Neither is location. Nor status. Nor popularity. Nor situation. Nor condition. Nor disability. Nor hinderance. Nor limitation. Nor relationship. Nor assumption. Nor perception. Nor job. Nor title. Nor network. Nor group. Nor party. Nor government. Nor idea. Nor success. Nor failure.
None of these, or no other thing, are the “thing” that… YOU ARE!
YOU make the difference! YOU are the difference. Those other “things” matter not but for whatever they matter to YOU! And the real thing is, those “things” are NOTHING, mean nothing, say nothing, matter not, without YOU! YOU give these things value. They are all figments and fragments, made real and possible by virtue of YOUR perception. YOU are the thing that makes them the anything that they ever achieve. As an example, time being the sample thing, what time means to one other person is not what time means to YOU. YOU see time differently. YOU use and utilize YOUR time differently. Time by itself would stand still if not given life by motion and movement. YOUR motion and YOUR movement are what define time. Time does not define YOU. Over time YOU will begin, become, and be, but time does not determine that, YOU DO! Because YOU exist is why time is relevant. Without YOU, time does not matter. And the same applies to any one of those other “things”. Money, Information, Relationships, Friendships, Professions, Networks, Governments, and so on. YOU don’t matter because of those things, they matter because of YOU!
YOU as the thing that YOUR thing is…
The difference between what two people have, given that they are in possession of the very same thing, is what they individually, of their own volition, do with it. Ultimately who they are with it. In the end, who they are. So the equation would be a set of factors, factored in, matter-of-factly, as a matter of facts, equalling what matters based on what those things matter, to YOU. YOU being the variable. YOU being the thing that makes those things make whatever sense, or cents, or “since”, that they do. For what I mean by “since”, YOU were _______ until YOU got _______ and ever since, YOU have been _______. So “since” represents what YOU are as a result of. “Cents” represent what YOU have as a result of. “Sense” represents what YOU think/feel as a result of. But the result is YOU. More importantly, the reason was YOU!
Do YOUR thing…
So, YOU have a want, an idea, a plan, a need. YOU have a power, a talent, a gift, a service. YOU have a dream, a goal, a purpose, a potential. And so much more. YOU also have a past, some problems, some issues, some trouble. YOU have some obstacles, YOU have some trials, YOU have some things YOU have to figure out. YOU have some mountains to climb, some forgiveness to seek, some relationships to try to rebuild. And YOU have to make something happen. Like right now. And YOU could rattle off a list and litany of things that could help YOU achieve this progress. More time, more money, more information, more help, more access, more yadayadayadayada…
All YOU really need is more YOU. YOU are the best thing that YOU have going for YOURSELF. YOU are going to make it happen with YOU. If someone helps, they will help because of YOU. If something happens, it will happen because of YOU. YOU are the start and the finish of everything that has to do with YOU. And today is YOURS!
And that is the most important thing, that YOU have today, and YOU can use the one thing that YOU do know that YOU have, YOU, to start or continue to do the thing or things that will eventually or continue to get YOU where YOU want or are going to be. And that’s the thing that matters!
©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers
It may happen in due time;
But YOU must “do” time.
Recall some of these phrases that have to do with “time”?
You’ll get YOUR time. YOUR time is coming. It’s not YOUR time. “Timing” is everything. Time is everything. When it’s YOUR time. Take YOUR time. It takes time. Everyone gets their time. All YOU have is time. Time waits for no one.
And so on, and so on, and on…
I remember some quote that said something to the effect of everyone having the same amount of time, the difference being how we individually maximize or manage said time and our preparedness or readiness for the moment when “our” time comes. The quote was either from or in reference to some great or famous person and it’s attempt and aim was to give the impression or thought that though our situations and scenarios differ in a spectacular manner, we all have the same amount of time in which to do something, or “that” thing, or our thing, or whatever the thing is that separates, establishes, recognizes, or exemplifies us in a way that ensures our own “time” or moment or specific time that identifies and defines us in a way that guarantees our individual greatness, or success. Because “success”, or “greatness” and such these phenomenon constitute a sense and satisfaction of having been products of well-managed and utilized time. Wealth, Prosperity, Respect, Nobility, Notoriety, Success, Fame, Fortune, and other like characteristics are thought of and considered to be products and by-products of time well spent servicing the obligations of having had gone the way of spending the proper time doing the proper thing to eventually receive the proper result. Because YOU had put in the time, the common theory is that YOUR time is certainly earned and eventual in the greater scheme and notion of it all, “it” being life, “all” being whatever has come of YOURS.
YOU… and “YOUR” time…
And we all are well aware and presently conscious of what time is and means toward our destiny. We are familiar with, or understand somewhat, the context of time as it relates to our processes. Whether it be time management, or time utilization, the concept is made well known and quite obvious as we expend our energies and ambitions toward the idea of spending time doing what we have to, as we have to, when we have to.
So, is this YOUR time?
It is a matter of perspective, time, or rather what the success of what a particular time has produced, is. From an outsiders perspective, YOUR “wasted” time was sure to have been otherwise maximized had YOU spent it doing something more appropriate for or toward YOUR desires or dreams or hopes, or wants, or wishes. That same time, for YOU, in YOUR mind or from YOUR view, may have been time spent developing or designing YOUR plan or maybe even time YOU needed to “break” in order to realize the efficiency or ineffectiveness of YOUR own doing, in that time. And conversely, where YOU may believe that YOU are wasting or losing time, one could very well assert that what is taking place outside or around YOU, or in the background, is the development and design, by a higher power (if YOU honor that sense of belief) or the power of others on YOUR behalf that is working out or on things for YOU. Time is the true currency of the universe and it’s value represents something different to each and every entity assigned its worth. And due to the nature of our being, each being in its own right afforded the privilege of choice and preference, time is subjective and specific to the nature of that being. Like money means and does what it means and does for YOU, it represents and reflects a completely different offer to the next person. But money, like time, can, is, and should be used effectively for the benefit of ensuring a specific objective. I believe that objective to be life, productive and positive, toward the goals and guarantees of safety, security, and significance. But YOU have YOUR own objectives and YOU, just as YOU earn YOUR money, earn YOUR time. What YOU do with YOUR “earnings” is based on YOUR wants and needs, situations and circumstances.
Do YOU have time?
Time is of the essence. We have all heard that. We know what that means. We get it. We recognize that time is important. Where we differ is where we defer to our own state of place and position relevant to who and where we are at a certain point in time. In our youth, time seems eternal and fluid and abundant. In our ages of experience and wisdom time becomes a cherished valued commodity, a resource, abundant yet fleeting. In both cases we notate that “time waits for no man” but we see that impatience differently. In our youth, we tend that time is on our side and we are just to invest in the risk and gamble of whatever and whichever avail is to our liking, as we age we suggest that we are best on the side of time and more to discover returns and value in the caution and safety of being practical and conscious of our time. At youth we are momentous, at old we are but moments, reflective, in reverence, and respecters of what time has inevitably taught us.
What this all means…
YOU have time. The quote that I referenced earlier reads,
“We all have the same 24 hours”. I googled it to see who had said it and a list of people having been attributed with iterating these words popped up. I don’t remember who it was I first heard it from but I remember it being in reference to a successful businessman and how they had just chosen to maximize their own individual time to organize and be disciplined towards the goal and desire of their plan. It was a great idea and concept and I remembered that part of it. I guess the person really doesn’t matter, what matters is the theory, the truth of the belief.
Where YOU are right now at this time is okay. It is a good place. No one has the ability or power to go back to any point before right now. We all have the same present and that very same present is subjected and open to the spontaneous, the random, the unexpected, and the possible. There are definitely consequences and ramifications to the past and to whatever reality of YOUR past there is or has been that may play a significant role in having limited YOUR opportunities or abilities in a certain capacity but YOU just have to accept and acknowledge that YOU must make adjustments!
So YOU didn’t do what YOU could have with the time that YOU once had. So YOU wasted time. So YOU took for granted that YOU had more time “back then” than YOU thought and now certain opportunities or chances or relationships or of the like have withered or went away. So YOU didn’t know “what time it was” and instead of capitalizing on things, YOU squandered and made amok of them, only to find YOURSELF in the wildernesses of remorse or regret, because YOU, for whatever reason, refused to comply with what “that” time could have been.
So, in due time YOU must “do” time…
Action says it all. What is said about YOU and YOUR time, what can be said of YOU and YOUR time, what YOU may feel about YOU and YOUR time matters not if YOU are not doing at this time. I believe that it was all “dues” if YOU are willing to pay YOUR “do’s” right now! The reality is that the most important element and information about YOU is YOU. So, sure YOUR past matters and history is certain to have record of what YOU didn’t or could’ve, or should’ve, or would’ve done. Of course there was a time that YOU could have done or been different. But right now is the most important time of YOUR life and what happens right now can serve well in changing the course and caveat of how YOU spend YOUR time from now on. That is what is most grand about life, about YOUR time, the fact that at any given point, time can change it all.
So, take YOUR time. “TAKE”-YOUR-TIME. Because it is time for YOU. And YOU have time for that!
©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers