Model… [POEM]

We measure beauty
as if it could ever be even
and for good reason
to protect vanity
from the haunt of her secret,
that she feels ugly
that she is more than her fading identity
and so we protect her perfect
and profess her worth the sacrifice
so that she doesn’t feel dirty
but that she is always looking down
at someone
on someone
for something
and so that her perfect smile
can hide crooked words
things said to her less preferred
the doubts she reflects in placed mirrors
in bathrooms she hides from the world in
until she emerges,
the worlds ten
grace that is practiced
poise that is acted
pleasant that is actually
an act as well
until she can get back to the bathroom
and wash off her only strength
in front of her reflection
that she cannot convince
to stop crying
to stop lying
to stop trying
to commit
to being more beautiful
and more sexy
her self esteem flexing its weakness
perplexing its meekness
complex is its genius
but no one sees it
that she matters not
because it doesn’t matter
when you can be looked at
for being a look that flatters
and so she eats the idea,
pray she don’t get no fatter
from such a big appetite
and hunger
for being loved
for more than fair skin
and high cheeked bones
and eyes that look like rainbows
and body that fits any clothes
and pretty fingers
and toes
and hair
that if she chose or not to
would flow
lips that curve naturally
and the perfect everything else
when no one else seems to notice the reality
that all this will be gone
and she will have spent all of her life
hiding behind lies
that only she knows…

and we will continue
to measure her beauty
put her on covers,
in made up things
hidden by our perceptions
of made up things
and expect her to feel pretty enough
to say nothing
about her true feelings
and how she longs for a normalcy
that only being ugly brings
and that her truth is
she’d be a lot more comfortable
without being seen
for being anything other
than what anyone else sees
she’d rather measure her beauty
by the uglier means
how she is not so perfect
but just like she
that doesn’t get told so often
that the ugly girl
is all the pretty girl
ever wanted to be.


©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers


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