How to “pass” the past. In 12 steps.
Step 4: Identify.
Who is YOU;
Who sees YOU;
Who are YOU?
[The steps to passing the past are not linear. This process is not an “in order”, gradual method to accomplishing the success of properly or proactively being able to move on, move in , or move towards YOUR future. These steps are necessary but completely subjective to YOU and YOUR specific level of need. Some of them YOU already know or do, some of them are completely foreign concepts or thoughts. The fact is that YOU may be just one step away from realizing YOUR dream self, or YOU may need all 12. There is no requirement. YOU and YOUR truth will determine where these truths apply.]
One of the biggest mistakes humans make in the scope of not being able to live their optimum life is the feeling and idea they have that they are the only one who feels or experiences their particular pain. It seems almost inherent to individualize or internalize the idea that what YOU deal with is autonomous to YOU. We feel an ownest or obligation to our plights and perils, often to the detriment of observing the much larger picture. And we soon forget that we all experience and engage in a life that is very generous and bountiful in its disbursement of displeasures. An old friend once told me, “We’ve all got a little red wagon that carries our issues. YOU never know what some people are dragging along”. At the time that he said that to me I was way too caught up in my own selfish routine and regimen of sulking and sabotaging to realize the truth of his words. I felt for almost 20 years that no one could possibly know what I was going through. My feeling was that no one understood, they couldn’t possibly understand.
But they understand. Oh, do they understand! The fact of the matter is that we are all human. We are all composed of the same exact matter. We all need oxygen to breathe. We all need blood to circulate. We all need water to hydrate. We all need nourishment to survive. We all need connection. Although we eventually grow from birth to develop our own personalities, preferences, and particulars, I believe wholeheartedly that the three components to our living a most productive and positive life are SAFETY, SECURITY, and SIGNIFICANCE. I believe that all of our true needs and desires fall under those specific umbrellas. No matter who or what YOU are, SAFETY, SECURITY, and SIGNIFICANCE, are the elements that YOU seek in order to be pleased with YOUR own self, with YOUR specific journey, with who YOU, specifically are.
And everyone can identify with that!
The “IDENTIFY” step is about identifying the who, what, where, why, and when, of YOU in an effort to realize that YOU are YOUR own self and YOU own that self but YOU are not at all, in any point, by YOURSELF. There is someone who identifies with YOU. The names, dates, or places, may be different but the request and results are all the same. Someone knows what YOU are going through. Someone has or is going through it. There is someone who recognizes and realizes YOUR issues. Either because they have studied them by education, or studied them by experience. YOU are a part of a much larger group of “selves” and in that group may be the answer or an example that YOU may find helpful in being able to identify what it is YOU are going through or dealing with and how to or how not to cope. There is an advocate, there is someone who acknowledges what YOU are, what YOU are about, and what it is about YOU that YOU may or may not know the identity of. Just that knowledge is refreshing. To find out that it is a possibility, reason, and justification for our worst secrets, our darkest silence, our most embarrassing stories is cathartic, and revealing.
This step is about recognizing that when YOU have identified what issues are present then YOU are able to define and deal with those issues. Knowing that YOU are not alone will allow YOU to take some of the pressure and weight from thinking or believing that no one else would or will be able to aid YOU in being able to appropriately relieve the stress or the causal factors for those stresses. The theory is actually quite common, especially as we observe the reasons that people join or associate themselves in groups, associations, and organizations. It is for the purpose of having common ground and comfort with the principles and platforms of like-minded, or like-inclined, individuals. There is truly strength in numbers. And in that overall cumulative strength is the power and capability to empower the individuals that come together to form or support such. So YOU get to identify YOURSELF as someone who is able to move forward and beyond whatever has been able to hold YOU back. YOU get to do that by reaching out and communicating with someone like YOU. Or someone who is familiar with what YOU have dealt or are dealing, with. When YOU identify YOURSELF or whatever the problem may be, it makes it easier to be made aware of what the solution is, or what the habits, tendencies, and traditions are, that have led YOU to maintaining the mediocrity or messes as YOU have.
When YOU have identified what the issues are, what YOU are “in” or “are” because of those issues, why those issues exist, who is responsible for those issues, and when or what may be triggers for those issues or what happens because of them, YOU will find access to the solution and support for resolving them. Identifying who YOU are and what YOU want, need, enjoy, or require, to live YOUR best self gives YOU the safety, security, and significance that satisfies YOUR reason and purpose for being.
The end result is finding out that YOU are capable and able to achieve the success and greatness that YOU deserve. Once YOU identify what imprisons YOU, YOU can better achieve freedom. YOU will better determine what it takes to get free, to be free. YOU will leave the place that YOU have no desire to be in. YOU will pass the past. Because of who YOU are, in the bigger picture. The stroke that YOUR life is, on the larger canvas of existence. The color that YOU are, in the rainbow of what the promise of what being given life is. YOU are “body” in the sense of the everybody that goes through, deals with, suffers from, struggles with, and encounters … something, stuff, life, the facts of life, and the facts of living.
Once YOU see that, they will see YOU!
©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers