And then….

And then
there will be something else
something more
something harder
different
more requiring
more challenging
expensive
unexpected
that hurts
and then you will have to go
and keep going
because there is no other way
to make sense of it
or to stop it
and then
the distractions
the delays
the doubts
the distance
the decisions
that you must consider
and then
the devil
that you blame
responsible
that keeps trying to stop you
from stopping him
because you could
stop him
if you wanted to
because you’re bigger
because faith is bigger
than whatever is not faith
even the biggest thing
is smaller than the smallest faith
and you tell yourself that
and then
someone says you’re crazy
because you believe
when they say you shouldn’t
because they couldn’t
because somebody told them
that they wouldn’t
and then
they take a seat
to watch you
fall
harder
faster
and then you do
fall
harder
faster
right onto your purpose
your destiny
on purpose
somehow
and someone is watching you
for an example
and you don’t see them
because
all you see is in front of you
and you try to focus
on that
and then
more of
the distractions
the delays
the doubts
the distance
the decisions
that you must consider more
in order to keep fighting
in order to keep living
because living is your fight
living is why you fight
so you ready for war
and then
someone smiles
someone special
someone who doesn’t see
the war
only that you’re fighting
and they ask why
and you don’t know what to say
so you smile back
holding back tears
and the pain
and the frustration
and the problems
because you don’t want them
to see the worse that is to come
because you want them
to have a bigger faith
a better faith
and then
you realize that
there is no different faith
just faith
and so you smile back
to reassure them
that help is on the way
in spite of
the distractions
the delays
the doubts
the distance
the decisions
that they must consider
while they fight
while they live
and then
it happens again
because it always happens again
whether you’re ready or not
because it doesn’t need you
to be ready
it just needs you
to be.

-see

©Cornelious M. Flowers III