… In everything: Finances, Feelings, Faith, and Friendship. You have to come to the table as a benefit, not looking for benefits. You have to come willing to compromise and negotiate, in GOOD FAITH, for a mutually acknowledged snd AGREED purpose. You have to be WILLING to realize (and find out) that some things YOU HAVE WRONG! Some “good things about you” only work when EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU! Relationships ARE NOT ABOUT YOU. Relationships DO NOT WORK when EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU!
That is not a relationship, the system that operates and functions completely to only please and satisfy you. That is something else, and you do not need anyone else to accomplish that. YOU NEED YOU. And eventually, evan a narcissist will seek someone to validate him or her, self.
Love is an amplifier. It heightens and exemplifies whatever it is conjoined to. Self-Love AMPLIFIES self. And so on… Love for others AMPLIFIES others. A mutual symbiotic love between two will amplify both entities, in accordance to energy and effort. It doesn’t mean that you have to come to the table with an equal share of anything (relevant to a specific thing). That would be redundant. You don’t need what you already have. But what the other person has (for you) must be compensated with a value that is at least equal in reverence. And that value is not to be determined by you. You can’t always appraise or assess the importance that someone may or may not have in or for your brand of consideration. What may be extremely important to you may not be as important to someone else. That does not mean that they are AGAINST you, it just means that they don’t know. Maybe they want to know. Maybe they don’t know that they don’t know. Maybe they are willing to find out. Maybe they could learn. Maybe you could teach them.
This works if you’ve got “your half”. Safety, Security, and Significance are the baseline intangibles that determine ANY humans success. But these words are not linearly comprehended in a sense whereas they mean the EXACT thing to EVERY PERSON. They are not always mutually exclusive. What is “safety” to you may not mean the very same to a person who you desire to “save”. “Security” may mean something outside of your comprehension. “Significance” might not be what you expected. And again, vice-versa. A person may be attempting to do or give unto you from the core of their understanding BUT it might not be in a language or love that you understand.
Doesn’t mean they aren’t for you. Does not mean that they don’t “get it”. It just means that there may be work to do.
The work can be done though. It’ll cost too. It’ll cost you some time and some money and some sleep and some other things. But YOU HAVE TO RECOGNIZE that it is an investment if that is what you want. It is a risk that is rewarded after awhile. It is a chance that you must take in order to find out whether or not it was worth whatever the eventual price you pay.
… and that price ain’t so bad, when you’ve got YOUR HALF.