“Crazy, Love”

“There is a chance that no one or no thing can ever fill the void that is left by love. And every soul fears that. The possibility of never being resolved or repaired from a broken heart is an unimaginable pain and yet so common of a remembrance for too many of us. It leaves a bitter and sour taste that sits stubbornly in the paths of our way. It screams in our silence, it blares in our darknesses.
To be deserted, or to feel deserted by love, is to be ripped and torn from the very fabric of comfort and safety that you may have known. It leaves you a naked that can not easily be unashamed or made to feel wanted. That kind of nakedness is cold and unfair. It is ugly and soulless. It deserves pity and embarrassment. It reaches out to shame and hopelessness for answer, it beckons to despair for purpose, it calls on hurt for identity. It succeeds effortlessly at navigating the bottomless depths of self-torture and public ridicule. That kind of sickening is a just effect of what being abandoned or abused by the monster of love feels like.
Because you are never a match for love. You are no more formidable opponent than you are a legitimate foe. Love chooses, and that is it. What love says it what goes. What love allows is what you do. Where love directs is precisely where you will go.
And if love decides to finish or quit, then what you have is whatever love left you with: Pain that is perforated with the perfect pictures of something that happened in the past, smiles on the tail end of tears that relentlessly find presence at the most inopportune times, and inconsistency beyond compare.

Yet, we long for love. We long to be taken back by love. We chase after love. We pray and plea for love. We do unreasonable and unrealistic, impossible feats for love, even for the remnant of love.
We sacrifice and settle for the similarities of what seems like love. And somehow it all makes sense. And it makes greatness. It makes amazing music. It makes us feel some kind of way. A way that maybe no one- outside of you- understands, unless they too have experienced it. And that is an experience that you just have to know for yourself…

And there is nothing like it. Especially if it is good. Especially when it is good. There is nothing like good love.

Even when it goes away.”

-see