Relentlessly… [POEM]

missing you
thoughts of some chump kissing you
pissing me off,
but I burnt that bridge
and now we live on either sides,
worlds apart,
you over there with him,
me over here, with your heart
wishing you’d come back to get it
I’ve hidden it next to my feelings
the ones I pretended not to have
well I’m ready to give them to you now
public displays, passwords, and poetry
not just my emotion, but my most important things
whatever it takes
just to have you fall asleep next to me
I don’t know what else to say,

The truth is that you’ll never trust me again
the way I need you to
you’ll always have a doubt in your mind
and a reason too
so you’ll love me with caution
halfway, all or, something,
somewhere in between everything I’m asking for,
and nothing
but I deserve it
every way you could have possibly been hurt,
I learned it
and had the nerve to graduate into master
what I did to you seemed like a joke
what you’re doing to me now seems like laughter
but I deserve it
finally standing up for myself,
down on my knees,

we met under different circumstances
signs, wonders, and predictions
an entire universe ahead of us,
and here we meet again
as if the plan was
to still feel the same way
how could we have grown so far apart
and still feel the same way
how could I see you after all this time
and feel the same way
as if everything and everyone else happened,
to make us more suitable
I still see you the way I’ve seen you every second since,
like a John Legend verse
under an acoustic sky
on a day like today
in arms like, mine

allow me to steal pictures
and glimpses,
they’ll have to make due for kisses
I’ll keep saying that I’m fine with us being over
that’ll make due for how much I miss you,
emails and random anonymous phone calls,
those will make due for distance,

in the meantime,

just say that I’m not hurting alone
say that you wish things were different,
say that you’ll reconsider tomorrow
say that you’ve moved on, reluctantly
but say that you held on as long as you could,
hoping for me
say that you remember something about us
that he can never do
say that you know that I’ll meet someone else
but no one ever like you
say that you’ll remember me forever
say that you’ll save a place in heaven for me
say that I can still feel this way about you,
no matter what
and you don’t even have to say,


©2014 Cornelious “See” Flowers


6 thoughts on “Relentlessly… [POEM]

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