Nostalgia… [POEM]

I think of you
more now
than ever before
that you’re gone
only stops a breathe
holding it in
to remember
forcing myself
to surrender,
time to start over
or tarry on

you were once there
to say such a thing
and now you’ve disappeared
a memory
reminds me to forget
or at least quit
trying to find you
when there is a blankness,
behind you
that erases every word
before I get to speak
leaving me
to think,

I wonder if time believes you
like I do
and if space
grants you permission
to move on
like I tried to
or if this is all a dream
that I have been lied to
how are you so cold
leftover winter
how can this long
like leftover dinner
i still enjoy the thought
crumbs still on the table
I am unable to walk away

You used to say
that I would be just fine
and I thought
you were just trying
to give me the strength
that you had back then
but you were bending
to teach me
that life is but
a fleeting thing
and is almost better served
in memory

when I say your name
you exist
and as I write it out
you persist
to be just as much now
as you you ever were
for a better service
being what I need
so I can leave
step away from pain
that you’ve journeyed on
is just a change
and those happen,

©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers



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