much rather… [POEM]

I would much rather
stay in love with you
better or for worse,
more than vowing to
or allowing time to do
what it is supposed to
establish and institute
rather than substitute
for a reason amounting to
even worth saying it
a vision of you is everything
and I don’t mind playing it
over and over and over,
until days end,
every awake
over and over and over
but what more can I say…

At some point I must leave,
must do the things I said,
must be,
must not be in your presence,
must be gone
must be able to go and take care of us,
must flee your company
to be our foundation
must be away
to give us more
must be unavailable
to be there for you
and I must be trusted…

I could spend energy
and effort
peddling words on the porch
of your dream home
or I could go and get it
I could sound like the man you want me to be
or I can live it,
I have to sacrifice being there sometimes
in order to pivot
on the floor of stable
I know what you desire,
so I must be able
I’ve made no changes,
I’m still at the table…

I can hold your hand and rest assure you
or I can best assure you
I can say what I want for us
or I can get to doing
I can promise to
or I can produce
I’ve made up my mind,
You must choose…

I would much rather
have been better
because of you
than to never have
but I never had
and now I do,
and sometimes much better
than having a vision,
is having a clue,
I’ve left both for you.


©2015 Cornelious “See” Flowers


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