There is definitely a period or season in which your relationship will be even, where it should be even. “Even” in a sense of and respect to accord and assurance and automatic access to agreement. There is a time where everything seemingly always goes together in a symbiotic unity that is all spectacular and in the space of magical amazingness.
It is supposed to be like that.
For a period, for a season.
But relationships that actually last and have depth and definition and detail and evolve into destiny aren’t “even” all the time. Not even most of the time.
There is always an issue, some challenges, some changes, disruption and delay, confusion, chaos, hurt and hell to go through. There is always a problem, a decision, a choice, an obligation and a responsibility to pick a side. There is always question and instigation and accusation and controversy. There is always mess and frustration and misery demanding to sit in your company. There are moments of lack and lethargy, discontent and so much noise.
While the work has to be done.
While the bills have to be paid.
While the home has to be kept.
While the kids have to be raised.
While the time keeps passing by.
And still, more importantly still…
The soul has to be uplifted.
The spirit has to be nourished.
The mind has to be stimulated.
The romance has to be maintained.
The peace has to kept.
Your mate has to be considered.
Love is not just love. Love is everything more than love. Love is all the things more than love. Love is sacrifice and surrender whilst satisfying self. Love is particular and specific and yet ambiguous and wide. Love is gentle and firm. Love is intelligent and understanding. Love is complete yet open, comprehensive and curious.
And relationships require the steadiness of the unknown to abide its journey into fate. Ever heard of the good fight? The good fight is a relationship. The good fight is an ever-ongoing battle for the sake of someone else. The good fight is sleepless and exhausting and turbulent and demanding and constant. It always is. There is no time or room for the expectations or ask that a relationship is anything other than that.
Those seasons of complete congruence are the ultimate reward for complying with a confrontation that is compliment of your courage and cause. That good is a direct result of how good you become in the tantrum of this dynamic. You will absolutely know the days that are fantastic by the default of what those terrible times demand of you!
You’ll find “odds” more often than not. What you will achieve good at is deciding when to debate and when to defer. Compassion and patience are outfits that should align the wardrobe of your wants. Love is tender. Love is an acute mandate that you honor and embody to stay in the way. To be available for the fight. To be present and aware to the unknown. Because you chose this and for as long as an iota of desire rest in the two of you, you are obligated to take arms and forge into the fisticuffs of faith and action.
Through it all. For as long as it takes. And that is matrimony. That is what marriage really is. That is a relationship. Arduous and audacious and ambitious and abundant and adamant.
For each one of you.
Because on both sides, bookending that “season” of total compliment is life. And life requires that differences be met with diligence and discipline. And life requires decision. You decided on a relationship.
This is what you have to do.
©2018 Cornelious “See” Flowers